I was reading about how Dr. Harley has noticed an increase in divorces since the start of no fault divorce in most states. I was wondering if people who've caught their spouses cheating do have any extra legal ammunition in the divorce settlement process. I'm a long way from this, but I'd like to hear of others experiences with this. Thanks.

HH, I can only tell you that in my state, the court system seems to prefer the no-fault route as opposed to the "at fault" method of divorce. Especially if there are no children involved.

This seems to me to be at odds with the laws on the books, as Virginia code defines adultery as a "Class IV misdemeanor," but rarely prosecutes it. The state also does not recognize "legally separated" as a valid marital status.

But it seems it's just easier on the court system to have a couple sign a Separation and Property Settlement Agreement, ride out the mandatory waiting period (six months no children, one year when there are children) and then file.

I think this is an example of when the court system opts for expedience over morality. And Virginia is in the "Bible Belt..."

This does not mean that if there are matters of property or possession, an acrimonious divorce can't be waged. It just seems the lawyers and judges tend to push for the "easier, softer way."

The quick answer is no, there is no legal ammunition at all with adultery, which is extremely devastating to BS's who not only have to deal with the pain of discovering adultery, but are also forced to deal with loss of time with their children and great financial losses as well. However, guilt can be used to obtain a better agreement if you are in a jurisdiction that allows you to make your own agreements. This is probably the only leverage you have and it's a brief window as waywards tend to have such an overdeveloped sense of entitlement they are only "generous" until they realize that they are loosing finances and access to children as well. Unfortunately, it's very difficult for a BS to act quickly enough to make much use of this as they tend to be reeling in emotions.

zero ammunition here in the florida no fault state

I understand that adultery doesn't get you much (Fred I'm in VA also) but there are two avenues yoy can use to at least get a balance.

In VA there is such thing as post separation adultery. From my atty opinion (and we know they all have one regardless of what side of the argumant you're on) you can use this argument in 2 ways.

1)reduction or termination of separate maintenance. Seldom used and difficult and expensive litigate.

2)Child custody. In my sitch WW has had multiple affairs post separation and has introduced everyone of these men to our kids and 2 of them have actually spent the night while our kids were there (according to her "inthe spare bedroom". This is hugely detrimental to the emotional welfare of the kids and most certainly can have an impact on child custody.

My 2 cents.