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Joined: Apr 2006
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Hi L4-

WOW! What an insightful appointment with Steve. I've had you in my prayers frequently, especially since the cross on the hill has been lit lately-quite out of schedule for its usual brightness-so I know there is a reason for it and I just pray.

I'd love to get together next time you are up here to walk through town, have coffee, whatever.

Let me know when you'll be back in your hometown and we'll get together.

smile (If Queenie only lived closer....)


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

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Yeah, If ONLY Queenie lived together.

OR, If ONLY our H could be friends and we could get together as couples.

Oh well, not today.

So, I'm off on the 16th, any takers for lunch?

Wow, L4, what an amazing conversation. I really like his thoughts on not MC but coaching. How are you doing and feeling with all of this?



BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Quote
He said to not focus on the plan (like whether or not to use MB, MC, books, etc.) but on the goal and to work with H to find a solution. Our goal needs to be to have a great M not that we must see an MC.
This really struck me. I don't want to T/J but thank you for this as well.

I love you.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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L4,

I just thought it would be courteous to let you know that we are in deep discussion over on SaA about what Steve's point about "beliefs" really means. We are not really discussing your thread and situation, but it did stem from your thread, and I have quoted from your post about the conversation, so perhaps you should be told.

You might want to smack us for getting it all wrong. Blame b_r for any errors - she started it!

Changed behaviour is not enough?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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They is making me crazy crazy crazy

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Me too ST.

Do you want to come to Vitt's with me. She has wine and extra large glasses. hurray

I might be able to figure it out a little better after a glass or two. dontknow


Me - BW
FWH - BB -(PA Jul 08 - Aug 08)
D-Day - 8 Aug 2008
Recovering nicely


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Originally Posted by serendipitous
I might be able to figure it out a little better after a glass or two. dontknow
haha, funny how that works isn't it, we think we have all the world's problem solved too!

L4, thank you so much for sharing Steve's seesion. I know that it will be of so much benefit to others.

hug


M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


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Happy Weekend L4, just a hug and letting you know I'm thinking about you as well.

How are you doing?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Apr 2008
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Originally Posted by serendipitous
Do you want to come to Vitt's with me. She has wine and extra large glasses. hurray

I KNEW there was a reason I liked her stickout

J/K V, I like you for more than your vino flirt


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
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Originally Posted by serendipitous
Do you want to come to Vitt's with me. She has wine and extra large glasses. hurray
You do realise she's talking about reading glasses, don't you?


BW
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His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


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mmmmmmm, yum

Hey L4.

Hope you're ok x

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Originally Posted by Vittoria
Vitt, those glasses won't help your eyesight! If anything, they'll make it worse!


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Originally Posted by Vittoria

rotflmao


Me - BW
FWH - BB -(PA Jul 08 - Aug 08)
D-Day - 8 Aug 2008
Recovering nicely


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JohnsTwin -- It was an insightful meeting. Thank you for the invitation. I will keep it close.

Queenie -- I love you too. It looks like I'll be out of town the 16th, otherwise I'd gladly drive to you or wherever to get together. But alas, not this time. We'll work for another. And I'm doing okay.

ST -- Thank you for the shampoo tip. It sounds like you folks in the UK have got the answers for these buggers. I told a girlfriend of our plight and she said she happen to have bottles of Full Marks Solution that she brought back from her last trip because while over there her son got lice and it worked with just one application. She said that while the U.S. companies have been running the same ingredients in their treatments over the years and not adjusting as lice's tolerances have changed, the Brits have modified as lice have evolved and their treatments are much better. I don't know if this is true, but coupled with your endorsement, we're giving the foreign stuff a try. I did it on my daughter last night and I'll do my hair tonight. Cross your fingers.

SC - Thanks for bringing that thread to my attention. I've had a look-see and am contemplating comment but I don't feel a need to. Among Sere, Kerala, SC, and Mark, I think what SH was saying specifically to me and my situation has been covered. As for the discussion there, I think some of it applies to BSs as well as to the obvious WSs that the discussion is centered upon. In some cases, I believe BSs have to change their beliefs too, in order for an M to recover.

B_R - As SC suggested, I do blame you. Of course in a loving way. wink

V - I love your glasses. They look mahvalous on you. Though if you don't mind, I'll have to bring some Pinot Grigio or Pino Gris for our "book club" <wink wink> since I don't do a lot of re(a)d.


Me (FWW): 45
BH: 46
M: 11/94
PA: 2/08 (4 mos)
Confessed: 10/08
DS10
DD8
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After much thought and some off and on practice, I've decided to leave the MB boards.

Some very bright lights have shone on parts of my M over the last two months and I realize as much as I think I need this place, I can't need it as much as I want to.

And while I know I'll miss you and it will be very difficult to keep away from the other threads I follow in "In Recovery" because I care SO deeply for many here, I really think it's best right now that I don't post or lurk. I have a few MB resources off MB and with them, God, my friends, my family, and other support folks in my life, I'm going to get through whatever comes and be okay -- thanks in large part to the self-recovery that I was able to begin due to MB, Dr. Harley, Steve, and even more specifically, you.

A long time ago, I think it was either E or RubyDoo who talked about reaching a place of peace which helped her in her recovery -- knowing that whatever happened, she'd be okay. I am very near that place of peace and I believe that staying away from here with its potential triggers and posts that continue to feed some of my frustrations will be good for me. I need to see and experience our life in our real, day-to-day context -- and stop confusing what I want with what is.

Perhaps I'll poke back in down the road and give an update or look in on everyone and see how you're doing. Until then, understand that I will continue the way of MB in hopes of having a healthy and happy M.

Know that I love you like I've never loved any group of strangers before (though you certainly don't seem like strangers any more), and that I know I'll never be able to pay you back for all that you've done for me. No matter what my recovery ends up looking like, it will happen in large part because of your attention, your encouragement, your funnies, your enlightenment, your wisdom, your kicks in my backside, and your genuine care. It's warranted to list all that I'm grateful for here -- the who and why -- but I can't handle that today. I wish I could thank each of your personally, and I can't do that either. So I will continue to thank God for you and hope that you simply know -- that you KNOW in your head and in your heart how you've helped me and what you mean to me.

I thank you. hurray

I love you. hug

God bless you.


Me (FWW): 45
BH: 46
M: 11/94
PA: 2/08 (4 mos)
Confessed: 10/08
DS10
DD8
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It's a good job you've been weaning us off you gradually over the last few months.

I'll still miss you loads and loads on here
crybaby crybaby crybaby

I wish I had the strength to leave the board and focus a little more closely on the job in hand. Your thread has been an enormous help to me and my recovery and understanding my H.


hug hug pray hug hug


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I'm going to miss you L4, but I know that the decision you're making is a positive one for you, your M and your family.

crybaby crybaby crybaby

I will keep you in my thoughts L4 and if you ever decide to come to england, I hope you will look us up.

Much love to you and take the greatest care of you and yours.

kiss



Me - BW
FWH - BB -(PA Jul 08 - Aug 08)
D-Day - 8 Aug 2008
Recovering nicely


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Best to you and your H.

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I'm just grateful I'll see you on the other side...

Real life that is.

You are an inspiration to me and I'm so grateful to have been a part of this journey with you.

I love you and please come back and post every so often to let us know you are alive.

You are such a blessing. And I thank G-d for you..


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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