I know only two people in real life whose spouses left them for someone else. In both cases they followed their spouse relunctantly to a new part of the country when he wanted to change jobs, in one case numerous times. I did the same for my H. I wonder if this is just coincidence, or if the betraying spouses are inherently unhappy and looking for something they can't find. Or if they are easily bored and never satisfied and are always looking for the excitement of a new job or location. Of course my H claimed that any unhappiness he felt during our marriage that he attributed at the time to dissatisfaction with his job or where we lived was really because he could not be happy in a relationship with me.

Nellie - I don't know the answer to your question. I do know that a man I was engaged to marry (about 20 years ago) recently left his third wife and their children for a woman half his age. (I'm still close friends with his sister so she tells me what is going on with him) This man has changed jobs a dozen times in the past decade. His wife gave up her career and retirement to "follow her husband" and move several times only to have him cheat on her and abandon their family. Knowing this guy makes me think there may be something to your observation that these types are "easily bored and never satisfied and are always looking for the excitement of a new job or new location". BTW the main reasons I called off our wedding were 1) he never seemed to be able to follow through or finish things he started like college courses, fixing the car etc. so I doubted he'd be much of a "provider" 2) he'd been married twice before and 3) I suspected he may have been cheating on me. I just learned he never did get his college degree and has been lying on his resume all these years. He was cheating when engaged to me - that ow became wife #3. Six months ago he married the ow he was cheating with when he was married to wife #3. He is no longer happy being married to wife #4. And you want a chuckle, when he heard my husband wanted a divorce, he gave his sister a two page long list to give me advising me what I needed to do to stay married!!<BR>Take care Nellie - I do wish I could help you somehow, you've had sooo much to cope with. You really are a strong woman.<BR> Simone