Thank you

From what you said about your wifes past sudden changes in demeanor and strange rages, she is probably Bipolar.

http://forums.healthcentral.com/discussion/bipolar/forums/a/tpc/f/2651085/m/75710961

Lawyer up, and divorce her ASAP!

With a BP spouse, 99% of the time it only gets worse.

Waywards act similar, but have a history of prior stability. With a wayward, the affair causes them to act this way. With a BP, they act this way and have affairs because of the BP.

Thank you! i remember when her daughter was still living with us that she seemed to focus all of her bipolar angst against her daughter. I actually remember thinking how glad I was that it wasn't directed at me. Well.. with her gone, I'm the only target left. And now with me out of the house... maybe her boyfriend will get a taste of it?

You have zero idea of what psycho is until you discover you have a hit out on you.

If she is dating a cop, run.

Run far away and fast as she is going to convince him you are abusive and will have him come and "rescue" her.

You'll be either in jail or dead all over a lie.

I am a FWW, and I do have bipolar disorder. I don't want to speak out of turn or take over your thread, but you are free to ask me anything about it that might help with your wife. I'll check back from time to time.

Unless you where ordered out by a court of law, you maid a big mistake by leaving. Thats called abandonment, and she will use it against you in court.

Hire an attorney and file for divorce TODAY!!

I was ordered out. She got an RO [restraining order] against me. Also I read your link about BP, and you're totally RIGHT!! She made vicious allegations saying that I've abused her during our marriage, threatened her life, etc, all of which are lies.

I thought we were on the same page spiritually, but a day or two before all this she tells me "I don't wanna hear any more F--ing bible verses!"

!?!?!?!? now I understand wanting our own way, but cursing God's word like that, never NEVER thought I'd hear that from my wife.

Listen to me very carefully, do exactly what I say in the order I say it in. Stop whatever you are doing, and do these things. I don't care if you are at work, in the hospital, or anything else. Do these things now!

1. Go buy a digital voice recorder and keep it on you at all times!

2. Go find a lawyer and file for divorce!!!!!!


Do this right now, do not delay, get up and go do it!

You are dealing with an unmedicated BP who is either in the throws of mania or is rapid cycling. Her brain does not work like yours does, She is dangerous!!

Two other things

3. Do everything you can to never be alone!

4. Do not go anywhere near your Soon To Be Ex-Wife unless you lawyer OK's it and even then, don't unless it is 100% necessary, and never without people you trust.

You're in a tough situation, but the first thing you need to do is get a lawyer and clear up this RO.

Could her daughter testify about you?

Do you have witnesses that can testify on your behalf about her behavior?

I also strongly recommend that you go with your evidence to the Police station, show it to the Police chief, and expose the officer who is having the affair with your WW.

Get a voice recorder and have it on you at all times to protect yourself against false charges.

PMG?

So can you give me any insight, encouragement, etc.? Don't worry about hijacking my thread, your input is appreciated.

Thank you for the direction. Why should I file for divorce now? We don't have any shared property of high value. Some furniture, but no house, car, etc.. Aside from my work stuff, which I'm suppossedly allowed to go get with an offier, the monitary value of my things is low. And I do have a recorder with me. I used it the night she went "psycho" on me. And yes, I'm hoping to have an alibi for wherever I am at any time.

I guess what I am saying is that I'm focusing on getting a place where me and my mother can live. She is a widow and is about 1000 miles away. Hoping to come live with me as she currently lives alone. Why not just let my wife file for D?

Sorry I was offline most of the day yesterday, internet was down.

The lawyer told me that it was a futile thing for me to contact his captain, in fact, he said that the captain probably called up the officer right after I got off the phone with him. I honestly don't know which way her daughter would go. She liked the fact that she could manipulate her mother to her advantage against me, but at other times her daughter would complain about her mother to me, how she thinks she's bipolar, etc.. So I would not place any confidence either way in what her daughter could say.

Yes there are others who could testify about her behaviour, but apparently since the RO is a civil matter, it doesn't have to be beyond a reasonable doubt, just by the perponderance of the evidence. Which basically means if I have 3 people testify about my wife's and my behavour saying one thing, then she has 4 people saying something else, the court will find in HER favor.

You go over the captains head right to the top.

and who would that be? Plus the captain said that if she was consenting to the relationship there was nothing illegal being done so there was nothing he could do about it.

For real?? "It happens"???? If you're an long-time MBer then SURELY you've read "Surviving An Affair" and UNDERSTAND the nature of affairs. They don't just "happen."

If you installed the app to her smart phone... apparently you suspected BEFORE she suddenly went psycho? Seems to me like there's more going on here.

Hmmmm. Somethin's just not right here. Maybe you'll bring it all together the more you post.

Because you are married to an unmedicated BP, the craziness is just beginning.

Write a letter to the chief of police.
Police HR.
County commissioner.
And the Mayor.

Okay, FWW BP here

I have been dx'ed for 3 1/2 years (summer '06). My EA began in winter of '05, and the PA began April of '06. Let me say this first so that there is no minsunderstanding. I am 100%, abosultely, no questions asked responsible my horrible choice to have an affair. Hopefully that is clear. That being said, I was in the throes of a massive manic episode from March/April of '06 until the middle of the summer, when I crashed. Here's what I was like when manic:

Though I was the hottest of hot stuff
Dressed very differently
Used foul language
Slept 1-2 hours a night
jogged 3-4 hours a day
Though about sex ALL THE TIME
Did what I wanted when I wanted
Hardly ate
Could not sit still
Extremely impatient
Talked to complete strangers everywhere
Screamed if a red light was more than 5 seconds long
Had a condescending "eye-roll" attitude toward H
Ignored all voices of conscience in my head
Knew I wouldn't get caught because I was invincible
Thought I could charm and control everyone around me
Thoughts raced so quickly that I couldn't follow them, and toward the end my speech didn't make sense because my mouth couldn't keep up either

When I crashed:

Slept, slept, and then slept
Hated myself verbally
Totally self-absorbed
Quiet
Constant crying
Anger

I had had symptoms similar to some of these for years, but not until '06 did I have a severe episode - I was wrongly prescribed an AD that is widely known to cause manic episodes in BP'ers. Unfortunately, the episode had to run its course. Looking back, I wish that we had known what was going on. I don't know what could have helped. I do know that mania is A-W-F-U-L for everyone around someone with BP. That is why I will NEVER be one of those flower-childy idiots who go off their meds.

If she is BP, protect yourself and your kids as best as you need to. Unfortunately, unless/until she get psychiatric help, working a plan won't make much of a difference. She is not in her right mind.

On a more hopeful note, people with mental illness can still be good spouses and contribute to society and stuff. We need treatment, and we need to take responsibility for our actions. If someone will do that, there is hope.