My H and I will be married two years on April 9th. He has cheated on me with another girl by letting her have oral sex with him. Before we got married he did the same thing. I have always been told to forgive people for what they do. There has also been physical, verbal and emotional abuse in the relationship. We are high school sweethearts. But I just recently left my h because of abuse. We also have a little girl who will be two in May. If anyone can help me I would greatly appreciate it.

Welcome to MB. Instead of starting a new topic each time just reply to this thread, it will save confusion.

You are very young, I am sorry you are dealing with so much. Since there is physical abuse I strongly suggest you NOT try to recover this marriage. I know you have a young child but it is not a healthy environment for her to grow up in. Would your parents allow you to move back home with your daughter?

my dad and step mom came and got me and d this past weekend and i am staying with them till i get on my feet. its just hard because i really do care for him and love him. And i also want my d to grow up around her daddy. we are currently 2 to 3 hours away from him. i just worry about going back from where i moved from because i dont know what he would do. he didnt know i was leaving until the day i left and my family showed up.

I understand you love him. Do you understand that his version of love is not love? Has he ever hit your child? With physical abuse in the marriage I strongly suggest you get the courts involved to make sure he has supervised visitation with your child. Maybe that will force him to grow up, take responsibility and go to anger management classes. In the meantime, you are a mommy and your primary responsibility is to ensure the safety of your child.

I agree with Faithful Follower. Read up on Plan-B here. The distance will help. Write a Plan-B letter to him using the example on this site. Some of the pros will be along later to post those examples. Go dark on you WH. (wayward husband) Choose someone that you trust to be your mediator and do not talk to him. Don't answer his calls.

In your letter, you can tell him that you love him and what your requirements are for you to even entertain the possibility of talking to him again. Anger management and counseling should be part of those requirements.You need to protect yourself and your little girl.

I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation. No one deserves that. You have found a good place for support and advice.

God's Blessings,

Say

he never hit her unless it was punishing but never really hard. but he did abuse my dog. if he was outside barking he would go out there and beat him. i consider my dog as a kid. i am supposed to make contact with my lawyer but haven't yet. i am scared to see what he would do. my sil told me that she agrees with the reason i left. she also said that my h needs severe counsiling. his mother is the same way she beat him growing up. he did try to refrain from it but thats all he was used to. i had already been in an abusive relationship before and my family moved me out of state. but then i get back with my hs sweetheart and he changed as did i but he didnt go the right way. at first when we got he tried to act like the same person. he got back Aug. 20 of 2007 and we found out i was pregnant Sept.14. Thats when things really started ti turn.

i found this place a couple years back when my mom was on here. i had signed up then because i was going thrugh alot and trying to help my mom through. now that it has turned around and i am the one needing help i thought this the best way.

it will also be kind of hard not to answer his calls because of our daughter. she likes to talk to him on the phone and the same for him.

Sadly abuse often trickles down from generation to generation. Stop it before it gets to your daughter. File a PFA against him and let the courts protect you and your baby. Again the distance and being with your family will help. I am so glad that you have their support at this time.

I also think that you should get into counseling. Back to back abusive relationships at such a young age does not bode well for future relationships.

God's Blessings,

Say

That is very true. I am currently looking for a counselor that i can afford. Thank you guys for helping me through this.

oh my darling daughter, I am glad to see you here looking for support. As you know this place saved me and my sanity while dealing with your dads affair and his now affairage.

I agree with everyone here going back is not the right thing, unless some very serious counceling on your h's part happens things will never change. I also worry about my grandaughter growing up around this stuff. It;s not good for her or you.

You know you have my full support and I will do all I can to help you and my beautiful grandaughter. please listen and learn from those who have experince in life. your to young and important to all of us to live like that.

Mom