From a purely moral standpoint, I feel my XWW owes me at least the cost of my therapy and medications. Same with my health club membership, my need for new clothes resulting from the weight loss. Good luck collecting.
But, if you could send your WS a bill, what would it include?

I can't put a price tag on repairing the damage that was done to me. First of all because that would be impossible. But mainly because trying to 'value' the damage would reduce its magnitude. It's just beyond numbers.

Thankfully, WS is now FWH and plans to stay that way - that's enough for me.

I would forgive my WXH's bill if he could give me back 17 years of my life specifically including all my childbearing years. I don't want 17 extra years added at the end - I want my youth, I want a chance to have a second child, I want to take the adventure trips I always wanted to do but now am starting to feel too old. I also want the chance to have a real marriage with a real man who isn't a lying, cheating, POS. There is no amount of money that could replace what WXH stole from me.

I might feel the same way if there had been any remorse and a willingness to accept responsibility.

Z

Tabby, unless your adventure trips include taking a space expedition to Mars or scaling Mt. Everest in heels, I think it's safe to say you're not "too old".

You are NOT too old to see the world and meet new people. If I'm not mistaken, you are 39. If that makes you old, then what does that make ol' TB (age - 41)??

Tabby, be GENTLE!!!

TB

If I could send a bill on behalf of a BS, here's how it would read.

To Chai's WXH:

• $500 for the cost of hair dye; you have greyed her hair prematurely from the stress you put her through
• $2 for the soda you made her spit out when she saw the fugly OW

I'll have more later, I swear...

HA HA BTinBL - my sig has not been updated since I came here. I'm a little older now! True, I can do lots of stuff, but I've already noticed some things are harder than they used to be. I don't believe I'll ever go mountain climbing now - I've done in my ankle pretty badly and even stairs are unpleasant these days. I haven't tried skiing yet since I hurt my ankle but even last year I found myself to be awefully cautious on the black diamonds and I'm pretty sure I won't venture down a double again. Even my horseback riding has scaled itself back a fair bit over the last 5 or so years - that camping on horseback trip is out. There's other adventury things I'd like to do more of - scuba diving and such - that I don't believe my age will hamper just yet. But for 17 years I took exactly one vacation that didn't involve visiting relatives because he was such a cheapskate that he wouldn't take time off (rather collect vacation pay) and I was convinced we couldn't afford it (though I discovered later that he was siphoning our bank account).

I have gone on several vacations since he left including a kayaking trip in West Virginia, Disney in florida, scuba in Bahamas and 2 cruises, not to mention countless weekend road trips to Niagara falls and other semi-local attractions - all in the 3 years since he left. So I'm making up for lost time.

And yes, I can actually afford this lifestyle on my salary alone even though all my bills either stayed the same or went up when he moved out and took his salary. If there was ever evidence of his theft, this is it.

......this is so funny because my mom told my dad when she wanted the divorce (they are not divorced but seperated for the last 2 1/2 yrs), that she decided he should pay for all of her counseling, hospitals stays (I cannot tell you how many times she has been through in-patient therapy....), and meds for as long as needed for the "damage" he did to her throughout their marriage.....and she had 3 affairs......

On my end, I thought about this long ago, and I if I where to put a price tag on it, I decided it should be for AT LEAST the amount he used to fund his 5 month affair.....that came to about $60,000.00. Seemed reasonable to me.....

not2fun

Geez, Tabs, "cautious" on the black diamonds? Live a little bit, would ya????

"Won't venture" down a double? Wow. How about making the next trip a one-way ticket to the old folks home??

In all fairness, I went skiing last month and yes, the diamonds made me not only cautious, but wondering how silly I was gonna look if I took a swan dive.....Luckily, it didn't happen.....

You sound like your getting your share of trips in. Good for you.

TB

Since you asked, here goes:

1. Value of child support of $750 / mo at 6% interest for 11 years: $134,000. THat number makes sense since we have to maintain two households for the kids and that number is the cost of two households instead of 1.

2. Amount of growth of what I'll miss out on since she exWW will get about 60% of my 401K over a period of 20years at 7% annual growth : $255,000

3. 200,000K in equity in my old house that was flushed away since we had to sell in the worst market ever. But hey, at least we weren't upside down!

Conservatively? I'll have about 600K less than I would have 20 years from now.

What does WS owe?

What he owed me he cannot pay...honesty, integrity, faithfulness, a happy retirement, being together till the end of our journey here, a loving Dad to our DDs, patting our old dog on her head till her last breath.

He took away precious time. No $$ can make up for that.

A tribal court in Malaysia's Sabah state on Borneo island has fined a man and his lover four buffalo and a pig for having an extramarital affair, a report said Sunday.

What if a man pulls a Tiger Woods?

What's he going to pay, the farm, sixteen buffalo, twelve chickens and a pig?

I'm owed the $130,000 out of my house she stole from me, the $65,000 of my retirement, and as for my beloved finches......

Life for life for each one.

WH owes me the two years of stuff that he has put me through as well as the approximately 10 years this whole thing has taken off my life. He owes me the trust in humanity I used to have. There is no price tag I can put on this.

AM

I say we lock them in a room with a life insurance salesman. Cruel and unusual?(Stolen from Woody Allen)

Z, you're right. That would be too cruel for the life insurance salesman......

TB

There isn't enough money in the world to make up for what I'm owed.

My love of music. Love songs now make me sad and songs about SF make me physically ill.

Two years of my beautiful boys lives. Our youngest son was just turning two and our oldest was starting kindergarten when the A was taking place. It should have been some of the happiest times of our lives as a family, but I don't remember a thing from then until about 22 months later. Yet, I can recall ever freaking detail of my DW's A like it happened yesterday. It's like the events that were taking place at the time were so painful they took precedent over EVERYTHING else.

My destroyed business. Yep, I folded like a tent. I couldn't run it and try to save our family at the same time.

That's just for starters. No amount of money could ever make up for those things.

Want2Stay