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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 596
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Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 596 |
Do any of my thoughts make sense? Honestly? No they don't. Go back and reread Pep's and JL's comments again and again until they sink in. No one is going to tell you its ok to let him smoke pot out in the garage instead of the house. No one is going to tell you its ok for him to withhold from you the extent of the affair. No one is going to tell you its ok to cave and accept a pathetic excuse for a husband. The absolute minimum requirement you should have for this recovery is zero tolerance for drug use, addiction counseling, and random drug testing.
ex-WW had 2 PAs in first 2 years. Buh-bye.
Divorce finalized: 1/28/09
Now just living and loving again.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 596
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Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 596 |
A better solution would be to call the police if he ever smokes pot or you ever find pot in your house and have him arrested. Sitting in jail for a few days would be very good for him. Also, when he is convicted, the judge will make him come in on a regular basis for drug testing and if he fails the test, he would go back to jail. That would be the best thing for him. I like this idea very much. Crazy, to be honest you would be doing him a favor if you called the police whenever you even knew he was high or had drugs on him, regardless of whether he is in your home. People sometimes need harsh examples to shock them out of their apathy.
ex-WW had 2 PAs in first 2 years. Buh-bye.
Divorce finalized: 1/28/09
Now just living and loving again.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
crazy, a loving, non lovebusting way to do this would be to buy some soap on a rope and a sweet romantic card. The next time you catch him high on dope or find dope in the house, call the police and have him arrested. When they put him in the back seat of the police car in handcuffs, hand him the soap on a rope and the sweet card, and wish him the best in jail. Say "I did this because I love you so much."  That way, he will have a momento of you to keep with him while he is in jail.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416 |
Crazy, I'm a recovering Drug Addict, clean and serene since 6/19/04. Here's my 2 pennies worth....... I would not and will not negotiate with a terrorist and make no mistake about it, a drug dealer/drug addict is a terrorist. They are masters of manipulation and will suck the life out of you. If you are not in Alanon, get to a meeting and educate yourself. Terrorists are not afforded ANY rights in my household. You have a young one that can be snatched up by SRS at any moment when the terrorist is there. The limit of my negotiations would be to hand him a list of Treatment Centers in your area and tell him you'll visit him on family day. Then part of the ongoing maintenance after that will be hair follicle testing......
Hugz, Thoughtz, & Prayerz
Bill
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