he told me it scared him to think that he might go back to her if he didn't have me around to make sure he did what was right.

Thank you guys for telling me what I need to hear. I guess I'm afraid it would be like making drastic demands on him right now when he's trying to do what's right, even if his attempts are feeble at the moment. I'm also afraid he'll just think, "What the hell? People will judge me and think the worst of me forever anyway." and give up on trying to make it right. During one of our conversations about contacts, his reply was, "I stayed, didn't I?" I do feel like he's trying to have "the best of both worlds" so to speak.

I guess I'm just not sure how long I need to give him to try to make it right, before I make the demand to end it, or I'll have to tell others to get the help we need. I think in the Surviving an Affair book, one person who worked with Dr. Harley had a 6 month time limit. However, in that case, I believe others knew about the affair.

What does the parable of the lost sheep signify?

The parable of the lost sheep was told by Jesus when the Pharisees criticized Him for socializing with sinners. Through this story of compassion, Jesus revealed his rescue mission for sinners.

�Then Jesus told them this parable: �Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, �Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.� I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent�� (Luke 15:3-7).

The parable begins with a straying sheep. A sheep apart from its shepherd is defenseless and in grave danger. Jesus views any person apart from Him as lost. How is he lost? His sins alienate him from the holy God, leaving him groping aimlessly in darkness. �So justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows� (Isaiah 59:9).

The shepherd in the story, however, didn�t despise his straying sheep. With a heart of compassion, Jesus also values each sinner the Father entrusts Him:

�And this is the will of Him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that He has given me, but raise them up at the last day� (John 6:39). Jesus is intent upon rescuing the sinner not only because the Father gave them to Him but also because He loves them. His love led Him to sacrifice His life on the cross to take their punishment for sin.

The parable of the lost sheep also illustrates Christ�s attitude toward the saved sinner. The parable gives no indication of the shepherd ever rebuking or chiding. Instead, he hoists the sheep upon his shoulders and takes it home. An adult sheep may weigh anywhere from 110 to 125 pounds; it would be no small effort to carry one over the shoulder. For joy over finding that which was lost, the shepherd bears the discomfort. Likewise, Jesus bore the weight of our sins upon the cross. As High Priest and Mediator, He continues to bear our cares and infirmities before the Father. �He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness. . . . For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls� (1 Peter 2:24-25).

Finally, the parable of the lost sheep offers an extraordinary glimpse of heavenly emotions. The shepherd calls his friends and neighbors together, saying, �Rejoice with me.� The rescue of the lost sheep was a cause for proclamation and celebration. Similarly, Heaven rejoices when a sinner repents and is restored to fellowship with God. This joy is cheerfulness; it is calm, considered delight. It is a deliberate emotion -- houghtful and sustained. This is not a picture of raucous dancing and carousing but of lasting pleasure and heartfelt satisfaction. Why? A sinner has come home! Such news delights the heart of heaven.

Since the beginning, God has been the Good Shepherd who rescues His lost sheep. When Adam and Eve were hiding in shame because of their sin, He sought them out. Yes, He disciplined them. But He promised a Rescuer. Until Christ�s death for their sins, He forgave them by their faith and covered them with animal skins. God still reaches out for the lost to cover and recover them through the blood of Jesus Christ.

I feel like he hates me now.

He said he feels like I betrayed him, and is very angry.

He won't even look at me.

I feel so bad, but I needed to do this.

My heart is aching.

Mantra this:

Feelings are NOT facts


Every wayward says this.
It's deflected guilt.
Don't buy it.
Calmly say, "Yes. Adultery causes so much damage. That's why God hates adultery."



He'll come around. Don't you worry.


Feel strong. That's what you are.
Bear discomfort, and comfort will come.



And the cause is WH's adultery. NOT exposure.

Never forget that fact.
ADULTERY is the evil thing here.
Not truth.
That is a fact, not a feeling.

Feelings change.
Truth is what matters.

He told me he's addicted to her, and has felt like their relationship was a "soul mate" kind of relationship.

So, it's done. I called 2 people that I felt would be the most loving and helpful for him right now. One has already come to the house to talk with him. It really was hard, and I guess I need encouragement. I feel like he hates me now. He said he feels like I betrayed him, and is very angry. He won't even look at me. I feel so bad, but I needed to do this. My heart is aching.