This part I also thought ironic...

"I would never try to sabotage DS and WH's relationship."

Oh yeah...that I believe, especially since she has had NO problem sabotaging my H and my relationship.

God, it's been three months and still anytime I think about it I have to run and throw up. I can barely eat or sleep; I wake up at night from nightmares covered in sweat. Everyone says I'll be a stronger person for it, but I really see no light at the end of this hellatious tunnel. The email didn't help at all! Who TF emails the person they destroyed on the day they have to sign away thier marriage and say what high moral values they have?

There IS a light at the end of the seemingly hellacious tunnel!

You are still plan Aing and it is hard from afar. Good job though.

Now, practice plan B-ing in your mind. By that I mean, treat WH with zero lovebusting when interacting in any way BUT when not interacting with him, disengage from trying to control things. Don't try to figure out what he is thinking, feeling, doing.
Get involved in interesting activities and join groups of young, fun people. Maybe get a 'Big Brother' for your son to fill in the WH gap.

You must know that we all relate to the trouble sleeping and wanting to vomit part. It is nature's way of reminding us we are human and part of an emotional species. Fiddle sticks.

It might be time soon to send that mushy love letter known as the plan B letter and going dark. When you do send it, make sure it gets WH's signature on delivery since OW might get it and make it dissapear otherwise.

Plan B is really Plan Life. Plan "I'm not part of this drama you created", Plan "I am not to be defined by others treatment of me".

It is a good plan to wait out the situation of life.

Thanks reading...I think I've blown plan A a few times though. Any suggestions on the plan B letter writing?

You can write it and have it ready for when you are ready.

My advice with it is

1. buy some pretty, old fashioned stationary. The kind with matching envelopes. They still sell it at places like Target and misc. other stores.

2. write it out in your best handwriting (even if you are rusty at this it will be more personal and powerful)

3. look in the Surviving An Affair book at the example and change it as it fits your marriage situation.

4. hold onto it after writing and think of revisions or to look it over to feel satisfied with it AND when you are about to give it.....make a copy on a copy machine for your records

5. send a email version to OW about a week AFTER you send WH's to him with the note to her as mentioned in SAA. That way she knows it ain't over yet.


Then, go dark. Super dark.


Since your son is his stepson you don't need to worry about making mention of how to handle children being passed back and forth. You might mention in the love letter part how you and your son are in love with him though.

She has rewritten her own values and morals in order to make her skanky, adulterous ways acceptable. I'd laugh at her email if it wasn't so pathetic. I was going to dissect it, but Pep did a delightful job. The OW has lost touch with reality in order to achieve her selfish and shallow goals. Karma. It's a beeotch. She'll find that out.

Take care of yourself, E. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself. You are so important. I know how it is to put yourself second to the affair (I lost 55 pounds. Okay, okay, maybe 10-15 of that needed to go, point being I took the A out on myself and punished myself for my H's idiot decision.)Try not to do that, okay?

Thanks marital! I'll do ...BIG problems though...I need feedback. I exposed on FB. Today the Sherriff came and confiscated my weapons and gave me a restraining order; included...the exposure letter and the names of all I sent it to. I have to go to court Monday. F**k!!!! Sorry...

It says, the RO.."sent emails to my friend OW's friends and family accusing OW of infidelity and calling her derogatory names. Some of the accusations have been posted on internet sites, such as Facebook, and can be read by the public at large. Her actions have directly affected OW socially and professionally, and have caused great distress."

I'm no lawyer, but I believe in any slander/libel case, the truth is an absolute defense...

What exactly did your exposure letter say? Was it the one you posted here, or did you send something else that could be construed as name calling and derogatory?

No,it was the one I posted here. I did write to my H saying that I thought she was a homewrecker and sk**k. But those were personal emails.

so you could print them out and have them as evidence for the courts. I believe the judge will not be overly surprised that you initially made some less than nice comments, under the 'stress of the moment, finding out about this life changing event, breakdown of your marriage'. It all rests on how it is portrayed.

Then show the exposure letter and print out an explanation from MB explaining how exposure is a recommended tool, and Dr Harley is an expert in the area of infidelity

In fact I apologised to PQ (as much as it galled me) for exactly those reasons. If it came to court, I wanted the judge to see me as the nice sane one and the infidels as the nutso's.

Strategy is everything in this game.

Well,

I'll be ....... you hit a bull's eye!

It obviously is causing the adulterer's more embarrassment than anyone let on!

Touche.

Sorry about the restraining order BUT you were planning on going dark soon anyway, right?

Hope all goes well when you answer to the order.

Could it be possible that your WH has lied to OW and she actually THINKS he is a divorced man?
Given some of the exposure comments, she may believe she is being accused rather than an active participant. Makes some sense to me. GF

Thanks Lil, but I was advised here not to respond to her; geez none the less apologise!!! Cringe-cringe!


Yes Reading...I already was planning to do a dark B.

Going...Did I not post her lette admitting that we are still married?

Sometimes WS say things and we really wish we had a response that really makes them look at what they are saying and determin its truth.

oh, I wasn't suggesting you contact OW, she can go service someone, I was just saying that presenting yourself as sane is a good thing in court.

I only apologised for losing my temper, I never apologised for the exposure or the abuse I wrote on her social networking page , What she chose to believe was her own to do

Thanks Pep! I will do that. I am thinking of also contacting the CPS worker. My WH called them on me and they came 3 times. The last time the worker told me that she was SURE he just did it to hurt me and said she's closing the case. Maybe she can help or attest to the emotional/physical abuse we have endured, or give her opinion or something..