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I need to improve my understanding of this whole marital mess - not only infidelity, but pimarily filling emotional needs to avoid this kind of crap. What is the best reading and what has influenced you the most. I picked up a couple of books at the library and they sucked. Most all of the info I have read here has been enlightening. Share with my your sucesses in self study and secrets to make these things work
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Try these...they have helped me understand...<P>Fighting for Your Marriage<BR>Howard Markman<P>Too Good To Leave/Too Bad To Stay<BR>Mira Kirshenbaum<P>Marriage Insurance<BR>Williard F. Harley, Jr.<P>Give & Take/Secrets To Marital Compatibility<BR>Willard F. Harley, Jr.<P>Loving Choices<BR>Bruch Fisher & Nina Hart<P>Getting The Love You Want<BR>harville Hendrix<P>Read, Read and Read!
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Joined: Jun 1999
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Love Life for Every Married Couple by Ed Wheat,M.D.
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Joined: May 1999
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<BR>missingmywife,<P>No time but, Private Lies by DR. Frank Pittman has been the most helpful to me. Hope it helps!!<BR>
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Joined: May 1999
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mmw,<BR> My three best books(read them over and over)<BR> "Private Lies" by Frank Pittman<BR> "After the Affair" by Janis Spring<BR> "Affair-Proof Your Marriage" by Lana Staheli<BR> All these are available at Amazon.com.<BR> Good Luck --Murph
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Joined: Dec 1969
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missing,<P>I'd suggest two for your current situation (both Harley, and available here).<P>"Surviving an Affair" will give you a roadmap into the dynamics of an affair, and help you with the strategy to combat it.<P>"Lovebusters" will help you identify these harmful behaviors and will allow you to start getting control of them. You must eliminate lovebusters as the first phase of Plan A.<P>I would also strongly recommend that you do counseling with someone familiar with Harley's work. My favorite is the phone counseling with Steve Harley (888-639-1639)
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Joined: Dec 1969
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I think the best on on infidelity is Torn Asunder by Dave Carder. As for understanding and meeting needs, I think the best one is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
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missingmywife,<P>These have all helped me in one way or another:<P>"Redeeming Love" (Looks like a romance novel, but is very powerful and easy to read.)<P>"This Present Darkness" by Frank Peretti (Crossway, 1986). Really had an impact on me.<P>"Surviving an Affair" <P>"What Wifes Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women" by Dr. James Dobson<P>The "Left Behind" series. Maybe not always great writing, but very powerful. <P>The Bible, see 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 for starters.<P>One of the books I am now reading is "Possessing your Inheritance" by Pierce & Systema. Chapter 8 changed the entire way I look at my life. <P>I learned a little from "Private Lies" by Frank Pittman, but didn't find it to have a strong moral basis. <P>Good reading! <P>------------------<BR>Eph 6:12
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Also<BR>The Heart of Commitment by Scott Stanley<BR>What if I Married the Wrong Person? (can't remember author)<BR>Love Life for Every Married Couple (already mentioned is great)<BR>The Choosing to Forgive Workbook by Les Carter & Minirth<BR><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13
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These are all good suggestions. I have a web page with those & more listed.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>
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Emotional Resilience is a great book for understanding self, putting together effective coping mechanisms.
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"The Language of Letting Go" Melody Beattie. It is NOT about letting go of your spouse, but of letting go of our pain. It is a daily meditation has some grat insights. I read it each night.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>
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Several of my favorites have been listed, but no one has mentioned "When A Mate Wants Out" by Jim Conway. It is available at midlife.com and it fits us all to a 'T'. It is very inexpensive and together with "Surviving An Affair" makes a perfect pair for coping strategies no matter where you and your spouse are right now. You won't be able to put it down the first time through, but will go back to it over and over.<P>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P><BR>
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