back to Home Page

Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime

Listen Now - Marriage Builders Radio

| Tax-deductible Donation | Site Tour | Meet Dr. Harley | Basic Concepts | Q&A Columns | Articles | Guidance Forum

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders^® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com

Register Log In

Marriage Builders Forums Infidelity Surviving an Affair Question about WS and the "FOG"

Print Thread

Question about WS and the "FOG" #2323781 02/15/10 09:04 AM
Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 68 R Reva Member
Reva Member R Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 68	I've read repeatedly about WS's foggy, alien captured thinking regarding their right to have an A. I've also read that, in general, an A will naturally end within a couple of years or even up to 5 years after it's started. My question is for those whose WS went on to live with or marry the OP, years have passed and the A or new M seems to be a happy one. Does that mean the WS is still in a fog or were their feelings about the OP authentic to begin with? Is it foggy thinking only when the WS returns to the BS? BW (me) - 57 XWH-54 2DSs- 16 and 17 Married 16 years D-Day - 8/21/09 XWH moved out 10-9-09 Divorce Finalized 11-19-10 XWH moved 4 states away (on 11/22/10) to live with OW. XWH married OW 1-15-11

Re: Question about WS and the "FOG" Reva #2323785 02/15/10 09:10 AM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Reva, their feelings are always authentic whether in a fog or not. But to answer your question, yes they do remain in the fog when they marry the OP. The ones who have come here in affair marriages are usually as foggy as every WS. Affair marriages are rarely ever happy, they usually crumble very quickly and are fraught with adultery, thoughtlessness, and deceit. About 2x a year, some person in an affair marriage will show up here upset that their spouse has "cheated" on them. [they marry a cheater and are shocked he........... cheated! ] Here is what Dr Harley says about it: Quote "My experience, and the experience of other professionals is that about 95% of all affairs either end by one person deciding to end it, or that it dies a natural death. Of the five percent that end in marriage, about 70% of those end in divorce. There are a host of reasons that romantic relationships that start with an affair are so fragile, but the main reason is that they are based on deceit, thoughtlessness, and dishonesty. Those characteristics eventually find themselves permeating the affair itself. They eventually find themselves being deceitful, thoughtless, and dishonest toward each other." "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: Question about WS and the "FOG" MelodyLane #2323881 02/15/10 12:06 PM
Joined: Oct 2000 Posts: 35,996 Shrek's Swamp P Pepperband Member
Pepperband Member P Joined: Oct 2000 Posts: 35,996 Shrek's Swamp	Originally Posted by MelodyLane About 2x a year, some person in an affair marriage will show up here upset that their spouse has "cheated" on them. [they marry a cheater and are shocked he........... cheated! ] .... and are "shocked" that the forum majority is not moved to tears by their sad plea for help with their now broken affairage. I suddenly become Rhett Butler. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." And, it's the truth. I don't care if their affair-marriage lives or dies. My thinking about a not surprising affair in an affair marriage is ... "This IS what you knowingly signed up for. It's not a big deal." LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders

Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours

Hop To

Link Copied to Clipboard

Who's Online Now

0 members (), 404 guests, and 1,023 robots.

Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod

alexseen, john25, dumps, 11october11, Babuu
72,059 Registered Users

Can I become attracted to anyone?
by clara jane - 08/27/25 02:42 AM

Annulment reconsideration help
by RonBrown - 08/21/25 11:27 PM

Three Times A Charm
by leorasy - 08/20/25 12:00 AM

Forum Statistics

Forums67

Topics133,625

Posts2,323,528

Members72,060

Most Online8,273
Aug 17th, 2025

back to Home Page

Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime

Feedback | Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Site Map | Account

Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Site Navigation

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0