My husband told me he was moving out 1 month ago when I got home from student teaching and then working afterward. He stated that we had not been happy for a while and he thought we needed time apart. This came as a complete shock to me and I have been lost and confused ever since that day. He complains that I have shut him out and we do have money problems that he was not completely aware of. He moved out before telling me and he told the children before me. These two things I was angry about, but have since realized that they are the least important things at this point.
We talk everyday, he helps take care of the house (laundry, sweeping, and anything and everything that is needed), he comes home on the days off to get the kids on the bus and off if he is not working.
The conversations we have (via text or after the children go to sleep) are meaningful and have substance. The other day I needed to go to church to program music, but couldn't bring myself to go in since there were other people there. He offered to meet me with the kids at church and stay with me while I did what I needed to do. He shows me in many ways that he cares and has concerns for me. He has taken on all the financial obligation except for the food and a couple of household bills (phones). The big problem is that he says there is another woman and he is staying at her place. He keeps giving me positive signs but won't move back home or talk with anyone.
He can't get past his anger at me no matter what I do when it comes to talking about the actual marriage. This is not the person he is down to his core and I know what he is doing is actually trying to punish himself for the affair and punish me for my mistakes. The few people he has told, I feel he told because he was hoping for them to be mad at him. He is not getting the anger from people, only people wanting to care for him and help us fix things. I am at a loss for what to do. Saturday was the worst day that I have had since he left and truly debated whether or not everyone would be better off without me around. I was hoping for anything to happen to me so that my children and him did not have to deal with me any more.
His parents actually came to see me yesterday and talk about what was going on. They are all supportive of reviving our marriage because they know (as well as I do and truly, my husband knows) that this is not the person that he is and he is reacting out of anger. His parents lent me their shoulder for everything that I need from financial to emotional support. I can't tell my parents because of the fights that my mother and I have and that she uses things from the past (either things I've said or done) as ammunition against me and I can't bare for them to ever have a negative opinion of my husband. I am completely devoted to fixing our marriage and working on things, but don't know where to go from here or what to do. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband is a great father and deep down inside a great man, husband, and lover. How do I help to open his eyes? Everything says that not communicating about the actual problem is the answer, but not communicating was one of our main problems, so I don't see how that will help us now. Thanks for listening.

Dear prayerfulmomof2,

Please ask the moderators to move this thread over to the "Surviving an Affair" board. You will get more readers and thus more advice there.

You have stated your husband is having an affair, so that is the more appropriate place for this thread, anyway.

Praying for you.

Thank you for that suggestion and your prayers!