For the past year I have suspected that my x is living with her significant other which according to our divorce decree cannot happen and if she is then I would not have to pay whatever he may be paying her for mortgage, utilities etc off of my monthly maintenance. I took the advice of a posting on here to hire a detective to find out and got some ballpark prices and what they would do. My question is does anybody on here have experience with this? Specifically, once evidence is gathered how hard is it to win this battle?

There are some things you can do to prove this. First you have to gather your evidence.

1. Have your PI monitor the residence. Remember, if it goes to court, you will have to pay to have your PI testify on your behalf.

2. How long have they been living together? You will want to verify they are living together for several months. In fact, I would wait until after Apil 15th before filing anything as the significant other will have to file his taxes with his ADDRESS on it.

3. After you have your PI evidence that they are living together, you will want to file a MOtion to Modify Support and state the reasons. In your motion, you will want to include the following:
- XW is currently cohabitating with John Doe
- Arigato requests that XW be imputed income for half of mortgage, utilites and living expenses (you will want to request this because the way you worded your original post it sounds like that she can have him live there for free and not have maintenance reduced)
- Arigato requests that XW be held in contempt for not providing written update on her cohabitation status (only use this if there is wording in your decree that says she is supposed to tell you if she cohabitates)
- Arigato requests that XW reimburse him X amount of maintenance paid since the beginning of cohabitation.

For evidence, you will want to request the following:

- XW's bank statements
- XW's mortgage / lease
- OM's tax return
- OM's cover page of cell phone bills (his address!)

Your ex wife will go absolutely bat@#$% when you file. However, if the maintenance is supposed to help cover her living expenses, you should have it reduced / eliminated if she is cohabitating. You have no obligation to her boyfriend.

Yes, you can definitely win your case if, in fact, they are living together. I say this because my x-BIL moved in with OW supposedly on a "temporary basis" after OW was divorced. OW's XH brought her back to court for this. The XH's attorney argued that just by virtue of them living together, x-BIL was spending money on HER household expenses. OW's spousal support was cut in half as a result. This was significant because OW's support was for LIFE or remarriage!!

Just line all your ducks up before pursuing this. You will need facts and witnesses... or depositions.

I don't think that you will even have to get that much information to prove that they guy is living there. A couple nights and mornings on video of him at the house, and she is in violation. You only need a few instances. I hired a PI. It cost a thousand bucks, and he didn't even have to go to court. He wrote a report and we submitted the video evidence, and that was it. I narrowed down the times, obviously, and did a little of my own snooping first. Do not try to take any videos or recordings. The court need third party evidence. It could be said that you are manipulating the case...I spaced out the times a bit over the course of weeks...you could show that he was there on Tuesday and got up and went to work and came home from work directly that day...then next Wed...then next Monday...etc. Work days are less likely to be considered weekend, hang out type days...I would think. Good luck bro. That thousand bucks that I spent saved me a crapload of money in legal expenses and the threat of the vids and all were just as good as their weight in gold. I highly recommend anyone questioning a situation like this to get a PI!

I guess I would be arguing from the other side of the table on this subject. My STBX cheated on me, causing the ultimate ending of our 33 year marriage. He had a sweetie on the side for a couple of years before I found out about it. Anyway, we go to mediation in a few days. Spousal support is being sought because I am now disabled, after working almost the entire time we were married, and for most of that time contributed more to the household income than WH did.

There is not any thought of cohabitation on my part for the foreseeable future. I am not sure I will ever trust a man to become intimate with one again. But since my WH is controlling and paranoid, and sexually abused me for years, I can be certain that he will be spying on me from here on, in the hopes of catching me with a man, and getting the support decreased.

The unfairness of this really pisses me off. If the assumption is that cohabitation with a man means support can be decreased because this hypothetical man should be sharing costs and I would require less support, shouldn't the opposite apply? If cheating hubby cohabits with the OW (who makes a good income), then shouldn't the amount he is able to pay me in support be increased?

I expect this to be a point of contention in the mediation hearing. Controlling abusive WH will probably spy on me for the rest of my life, and the whole time having the OW moved in to continue the affair, and living high on their shared income. It just gives him a continuing opportunity to meddle in my life after the divorce, and punish me if I ever do try to have any relationship later on.

By all means, try and have your ex's income imputed if he is cohabitating. You may not get it but you won't get if you don't ask for it.