I think it definietly needs to be a mutual choice. About a year or so after D-Day, h said I could get a myspace page. For weeks he had all these friends and I had....Tom. So when some stranger who ws supposedly British requested friendship (or whatever MS calls it) I clicked yes. Don't know why - stupidity. That day H asked me to close it and was hurt. I closed it and apologized and did not ask about social sites again. He mentioned FB, and in the beginning, he set it up. AFTER he felt secure, then I was allowed to kind of "take over." This may sound controlling, but I think it was exactly what should have happened.

How odd - Tom was the only friend I had on myspace! Come to think of it, I hear Tom's buddies with a lot of people...hmm...wonder what he's up to...does his W know he has an account? LMAO!

I agree that Facebook is not the cause of the affairs, but it can make it easier for them to happen. It is like that with pretty much all communication technology. The easier it is for people to communicate (especially if they can communicate secretly), then the easier it will be to cross boundaries that you would otherwise never cross.

I am fairly certain that my WH would not have had as much opportunity for either his EA nine years ago or his current PA without the use of cell phones, email and instant messaging. Having to communicate in person and sneak around in person is a lot harder to do. Could he still have had the A's? Absolutely because both were with people he physically had contact with. His boundaries were absolutely the problem, though the technology made it easier for him to cross those boundaries. I use the same technologies every single day that WH used, yet it has never occurred to me to start an A with anyone. Have I had opportunities? Yes, but I ignored the offers and/or made it very clear that such ideas were repulsive to me.

Tom needs to come to MB ASAP! tee hee

FB and MS really don't make it any 'easier' than a telephone. It is difficult to monitor certain things like social pages, internet browsing and cell phones...but, statistically, the number one place affairs start is in the workplace..and we certainly cant expect ourselves and our WS's to stop working altogether.

My H & I share one password. We can go into each other's FB, MS, and email accts at anytime. Our hotmail accts are linked together as well. Full Disclosure at all times. You could say, we now have an "open" marriage. HAHAHA.

We use our social networking sites to keep in contact with loved ones. Nothing is hidden from each other anymore.

In our M, no A's were ever started thru FB or MS...it was co-workers and family friends. Cell phone was a major contributor to FWS keeping in constant contact with OW.

That being said, 2 of my brothers' WW's both A's were started online. So, what it REALLY comes down to is personal boundaries. Either you have set boundaries for yourself and your S, or you don't. Boundaries protect the M.