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It would be wrong for me and for my relationship I know that, there are many things in my life that i dont go aorund tellling everybody I dont consider it a lie just not oversharing.
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The choice of what? he is free tomake his own choices. Except for the tiny little fact that he doesn't yet know that he has one giant reason to leave.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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huh? he has all hte facts he needs if he wants to leave he is free to do so i kind of expected it he decided to stay.
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It would be wrong for me and for my relationship I know that, there are many things in my life that i dont go aorund tellling everybody I dont consider it a lie just not oversharing. Exposure is a tool used by the BS to end the A. It is a way to keep the WS accountable and to ensure that the A does not continue. There is no malice in that, no hatefulness. It has nothing to do with lashing out at the WS and trying to hurt them.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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Lokil
Trust this board when they say IT WILL HELP TO EVENTUALLY REBUILD THE M. THE PROCESS HELPS INSURE THAT IT DOES NOT HAPPEN AGAIN WHEN FOLLOWED. THE PROCESS ALLOWS THE MR TO HEAL IN THE LONG RUN----->
SHOULD THE SPOUSE HAVE THE CHOICE
NESRE
M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011
Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......
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huh? he has all hte facts he needs if he wants to leave he is free to do so i kind of expected it he decided to stay. So does that mean you told him about the A?
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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Yes I can see that but there is no A going on here it has already ended the same day it started.
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huh? he has all hte facts he needs if he wants to leave he is free to do so i kind of expected it he decided to stay. DID YOU TELL HIM??????????????????????? Nesre
M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011
Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......
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It would be wrong for me and for my relationship I know that, Why would it be wrong for you and your relationship? I'd really appreciate hearing that explanation. Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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lolkil,
Right now there is a LIE that exists between you and your husband. This makes the two of you ADVERSARIES...You cannot be intimate and in love with an adversary...In order for the two of you to be on the same TEAM, you must each know all there is to know about the other...
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Yes I can see that but there is no A going on here it has already ended the same day it started. It didn't end because you are still in contact with the OM. Just because you're not sleeping with him anymore doesn't mean you have taken all the necessary steps. You have to write a no contact letter and come clean to the OM's wife and really dedicate yourself to healing your M. I haven't seen anything in any of your posts indicating that you have done that.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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First it will ruin my job you knwo that thing you do where you get money to be able to buy food, second its not anyone elses business who do i have sex with, and third I will leave him if he does. Why would it be wrong for you and your relationship? I'd really appreciate hearing that explanation.
Mrs. W
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You still haven't confirmed whether or not you have told your H. Why are you avoiding answering that question?
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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Yes I can see that but there is no A going on here it has already ended the same day it started. It didn't end because you are still in contact with the OM. Just because you're not sleeping with him anymore doesn't mean you have taken all the necessary steps. You have to write a no contact letter and come clean to the OM's wife and really dedicate yourself to healing your M. I haven't seen anything in any of your posts indicating that you have done that. No I have not didnt you just said people shouldnt make desicions for others my firends marriage is not my business, they need to make their own desicions.
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You still haven't confirmed whether or not you have told your H. Why are you avoiding answering that question? Sigh... because wahtever i say its not going to be good enough, i told him I had a 3 minute stand and that i was drunk and tht it was a mistake and that i regret it i ddint tell him with whom.
Last edited by lokil; 02/21/10 01:39 PM.
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Lokil
its not anyone elses business who do i have sex with, and third I will leave him if he does.
???Its not my spoudes business???
Still not clear--->Did you Tell H about YOUR ONS??????
Nesre
M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011
Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......
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You still haven't confirmed whether or not you have told your H. Why are you avoiding answering that question? Sigh... because wahtever i say its not going to be good enough, i told him I had a 3 minute stand and that i was drunk and tht it was a mistake and that i regret it i ddint tell him with who. I'm not buying it.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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Posts: 142
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Yes I can see that but there is no A going on here it has already ended the same day it started. It didn't end because you are still in contact with the OM. Just because you're not sleeping with him anymore doesn't mean you have taken all the necessary steps. You have to write a no contact letter and come clean to the OM's wife and really dedicate yourself to healing your M. I haven't seen anything in any of your posts indicating that you have done that. No I have not didnt you just said people shouldnt make desicions for others my firends marriage is not my business, they need to make their own desicions. Your friend's M is HER business though, and she doesn't know about something that affects HER in a huge way. How can she make her own decisions about something she knows nothing about? Explain the logic in that.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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You still haven't confirmed whether or not you have told your H. Why are you avoiding answering that question? Sigh... because wahtever i say its not going to be good enough, i told him I had a 3 minute stand and that i was drunk and tht it was a mistake and that i regret it i ddint tell him with whom. The TRUTH. The truth is good enough. He has to know and so does the OM's wife so they can protect themselves from you. Not telling them is lying by omission, which just compounds your crime. Are you not stable enough to take accountability for your crime? lokil, you are an unrepentant OW. What do you want on this board?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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