|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7 |
i have been in plan B now for 6 months. My wife left me to live with the OM. the other man is single and 20yrs older. i have exposed and still nothing has changed. we do not have any children
my questions:
1. do wayward wives every leave the other man to return to their marriage?
2. is it possible for me to out last this other man?
3. do affairs usually die other natural death? if so how long will that take?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554 |
How long have you been M'd?
Any children involved?
To answer your questions:
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes, and depends. Two years seems to be the average.
ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
1. do wayward wives every leave the other man to return to their marriage?
2. is it possible for me to out last this other man?
3. do affairs usually die other natural death? if so how long will that take?
Have you read any of the basic concepts or any of the books?
1. Yes, sometimes WW's do leave the OM.
2. Outlasting is up to you.
Were you a decent husband prior to OM?
3. Your question indicates, to me, that you started posting before you did any reading.
Please, read the "Most Popular Links" ~~~~> located in a box to the right of your screen. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>
After reading, your questions will be more targeted.
I have a question for you.
Are you dating?
Is this the first marriage for both of you?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7 |
We don't have any children, neither does the OM.
We been married just over a year.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7 |
Pepperband,
yes since she left me i read SAA, HNHN, Love Busters.
We dated for 6 years and live together for 1.5years before getting married. and yes this is our first marriage for the both of us.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Pepperband,
yes since she left me i read SAA, HNHN, Love Busters.
We dated for 6 years and live together for 1.5years before getting married. and yes this is our first marriage for the both of us.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7 |
2 months of Plan A.. WW decided to move out on her own...Asked where she was going to stay and replied with OM...So i started plan B...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
2 months of Plan A.. WW decided to move out on her own...Asked where she was going to stay and replied with OM...So i started plan B...
How did she and OM meet? Work? Recreational activity?
What were the circumstances of her attachment to OM?
Did you give WW a plan B letter?
Have/had you exposed the A to friends/family/ and other appropriate exposure targets?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 Likes: 1 |
TY111,
I'm reading between the lines and please correct me if I'm wrong but....
This guy sounds like a preditor who has done this before to other young relationships like yours. You need to expose him at his workplace, to his parents, at his church. There may be a reason why he is single he just keeps going from blossom to blossom, chop his stinger off!
Gamma.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769 |
Wow, sounds like my H in a few years. That's what he will do go from blossom to blossom and not commit.
Yes, this OM sounds like that sort of guy. How old is your W?
Blessing
atena
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7 |
WW has not file for divorce. To my knowledge.
WW and OM work together. Everyone they work with knows WW is living with OM. They believe she having an affair. Seems to be okay with them. I have exposed.
I didn't give her a letter i told her i couldn't speak or be around her while she is doing this to me and her response was that is why she moved out.. She needed some time for herself.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
.... you have exposed to WHOM ???????????
People at work already know, I got that part.
Who else did you expose to?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7 |
WW 25
ME 28
OM 45? i believe, not sure.
Actually i think the OM want to commit to WW. Which is why I'm confused why she hasn't file.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
She needed some time for herself.
But, I feel like I have to pull out every painful detail.
It's tiresome.
Are you asking for help to formulate a plan?
Or are you on MB forum for a completely different purpose?
I'm OK either way, just want to know.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7 |
Pepperband
I'm here for support. I know she having an PA. I read all Dr. H books and understand Plan A and B. I'm in plan B now but i having trouble keeping my love for her... I feel myself pulling away from this marriage and i don't want to.
how do i continue to love my wife dispit what she is doing? i'm trying to outlast the OM but not sure if he someone i should try to outlast since he not married or has any children with previous wife.
should i continue to outlast this affair? I know from Dr.H that women are more likely to file for divorce then men...i didn't know if that was still true if the women are the WW...Is this true?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769 |
Has your wife attempted to contact you in these past 6 months?
You were M for a very short amount of time and it might very well be that your W will stay in this A for 2 years or more, so longer than your own marriage.
Are you living your life, trying to re-build it as if your W were never coming back? Or are you pining and hoping...?
You are in plan B. Plan B is no contact whatsoever. There is nothing else you can do for your M right now but to live your life as if your W were never to come back. That is the plan. And as many have said here...hope is not a plan.
blessing
atena
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I feel myself pulling away from this marriage and i don't want to.
You did not go to plan B on your own.
Your WW doesn't communicate with you, by her choice.
This is a reluctant Plan B on your part.
how do i continue to love my wife dispit what she is doing?
It is what it is.
should i continue to outlast this affair?
I do think you will have a clearer picture of your available choices in another 6 months.
I know from Dr.H that women are more likely to file for divorce then men...i didn't know if that was still true if the women are the WW...Is this true?
I think if OM asks WW to marry him, she might file.
The fact that WW has NOT filed, suggests to me that OM has NOT asked WW to marry him.
Wait another 6 months, then make a decision.
I am so sorry your WW put you through this hell.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
TooYoung ....
The chances of a long term happiness between OM and WW ...
Z E R O
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769 |
The positive thing is that they went and live together.
You see...as she got tired of living with you, she will soon get tired of living with... an old man.
She might realize what she lost when she gets tired of OM and she might come back to you... or may not. We do not know that and time will tell.
But, yes, happiness in not in the picture for those 2. It will be exilarating for the first 6 months to a year...with the sex and the novelty and all...but it wears out. It does for all human beings and your W is no exception..plus she is an adultress, and that is an added stress. They experience an enormous amount of guilt.
blessing
atena
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 Likes: 1 |
TY111,
Did you expose to HR?
Find out all you can about OM expose to his nieces and nephews, anyone who matters to him. Expose to customers/clients of the company.
Gamma
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
147
guests, and
46
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
