yes i have sent the work one.

i always say on the phone that i am fine, when he closed off his access to the bak account, he made a deposit after which was my money and a direct debit for half the mortgage, as far as i can tell he has no money till he gets paid again and is using credit cards.

as far as i can make out he didnt pay for the party because he never attended it, using the would be rude to leave early excuse for not going, also she is out with friends tonight and visiting family and friend till late tomorrow - is this another event he is not being invited to or just dont want to go ?????

Do you work outside of the home?

Don't worry about what is going on with the affairees, just work on yourself. Change anything he complained about in the past. Make your home warm and welcoming. Concentrate on a short Plan A and don't expect anything. That way you won't be disappointed. Then give exposure time to work.

no i dont work but have been searching for a job, which is pretty difficult at the minute in the uk, so i just sit and wait all day....

Time to get some schooling or training then. You want to be able to come from a position of strength.

schooling or training for a 50 year old here is virtually non existant.

he has not 10 minutes ago added me back as a friend on facebook ?

bacause he is conflicted! He removed you in anger -- now he's calmed down.

He'll be all over the place. You need to be consistant! You need to be the shelter in the storm!

You need to woo him.

oh lexxxy , how can i woo him when he wont answer me

i have spoken to my sister in law, and she said he is determined to find a flat of his own, he is not going to move in with ow or she move in with him, but he dont want me or our home anymore.

i am waiting for the book to arrive but it could take up to 2 weeks

oh well, brother just phoned and said change of plans, they have gone away for a long weekend.

i am so devastated, cant stop crying

hi all

sent him a message about a house problem, he didnt reply to me

just asked his brother to tell me, its over, so move on and get a grip ????

anyone please

thnak you pepperband, my daughter came over and stayed with me.

i suppose now he has said all that, it is the end of the road
how did thigs change so quickly (a week) from contact everyday and always be there for you if theres a problem, i care massively ??
to nothing, no contact, no nothing but a bile comment.

All that you are going through is perfectly normal. That is why it is called the roller coaster - lots of ups and downs. Use this time to take good care of you. Sometimes cleaning the house helps. I organized, cleaned, detailed the car, planted a garden, started my own business, etc. Find something that will keep you busy and not focused on the affairees.

hi all

well i have had a reply from the workplace just stating that they have not observed any behaviour that should concern them.....
no contact with WH since last week, but on his return today he has posted several comments on my facebook page about photos of my niece, saying he misses her, then a like this comment about supporting national cancer day and a blessing for my sister who died of cancer - then this evening he phoned and said he'd heard i had a problem in the house and he will stop by in the week to sort it out, then went on to tell me about new clothes he has bought because he is a new man ???
why is he still making comments about missing family etc, its really messing with my head

Because he is missing his family. He sounds conflicted and may be questioning himself. Plan A. Hard.

hi again

WH turned up on the doorstep this morning to fix the drain, which he did, he sat down and we had a pleasant chat about everyday things, then out of the blue he asked if there was anyone on the boyfriend front, i laughed and said there is a slight chance but nothing serious- i didnt mention OW just asked how he was doing, he just said have some good days and then some bad days - when he left he just kissed me on the cheek and went.

i sent him a text message (1st time) to say thank you for fixing the drain and that he looked good and i was glad we are still friends. he then phoned and started crying saying the house was so cold and empty and it shouldnt be like that, he said he cares very much and looks at my facebook pictures everyday and thinks of me many times a day, i cried with him and said i will always love him and this will always be his home, i said i had bought some new clothes as well and a nice skirt, he responded with a reference to something sexual and said i will leave that there then, we laughed and he asked why i never ring him.

am i reading to much into this, or is part of my plan working ??

Very nice! Your plan is working. Keep going!

thank you marital bliss

i know he didnt respond when i told him i still loved him etc, but should i keep telling him when we speak or just let that part go

He knows you love him. Telling him that repeatedly probably isn't wise. Let your actions speak for you.

He knows you love him. Telling him that repeatedly probably isn't wise. Let your actions speak for you. [/quote]


ok thanks i wont do that again, can my plan still work though if its just calls, because he does not come around unless there is a problem with the house ?

ok thanks i wont do that again, can my plan still work though if its just calls, because he does not come around unless there is a problem with the house ? [/quote]

Plan A is a time for you to work on you. Yes, you can do that with limited contact. Your goal should be to make wherenext the best person she can be. That's healthy for you. And hopefully your WH will see this great person that he is cruelly mistreating and will be motivated to come home.