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1.WHhat Would YouU guysS say i f your wife of over 10 years with kids offered you an appointment with a call girl for ORASL SEX ONLY? for ur birthday while she watches BUT .NOT Full Service, cause that would be considered cheating, and wouldnt deal with it.
2. What would you say that after she offered me that i responded with a " ok so for your birthday you would wantt a lapdance from a guy or go to chipindales or something like that, ANd she responds no, that she would want a GIRl. for her birthday. EVEn though shes never was into girls shes willing to try it now, and KNOWS that shes really into them now.
So i said u mean a 3 some she said no because she wouldnt be able to see me do Full intercourse with another girl thats cheating, that it would be just her and the girl. So i said but that would be a double standard, cause shes going to be having sex with a girl, thats cheating too. She then said its not cheating because there is no penetration, and she would not let anybody put toys or anything up there.
I DONT THINKK ITS FAIR!!
To top things of apperantly shes been hanginging out with someone. I checked text messages and there it was , she told her friend to pretend she was really with her but really she was with the other girl who she says on her text SHE FINDS VERY ATTRACTIVE
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HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO?
i feel like if i let her have her fun with girls that it might become stronger thing and eventually she'll leave me?
Or maybe let her do stuff and tell me, but at the same time its cheating isnt it???
and yeah if i do get oral thats great but she might use it against me, considering we were in the verge of a divorce a couple of years because i was accused of cheating, but through therapy , counseling, we are working it out. BUT NOW THIS?? I feel like if i let her do her thing then im a sucker jealous guyy whos wife is cheating on a with a woman?
Or should i pretend that i dint see the text, cause for some reason everything has changed 360. We have more sex, we kiss more, we go out more , we laughh together more?????
Could she be doing this just to cover up the fun with her girl????
She even said that she feeels more secure with me, more trustful, that if i did something, evryone makes mistakes, and that we must move on. She calls me more calls me sweet things etc. Could it be that the other girl tells her what to say to me so i wont suspect anything?
Or should i think well at least its not a guy, cause that would hurt more???
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1.WHhat Would YouU guysS say i f your wife of over 10 years with kids offered you an appointment with a call girl for ORASL SEX ONLY? for ur birthday while she watches BUT .NOT Full Service, cause that would be considered cheating, and wouldnt deal with it.
I DONT THINKK ITS FAIR!!
To top things of apperantly shes been hanginging out with someone. I checked text messages and there it was , she told her friend to pretend she was really with her but really she was with the other girl who she says on her text SHE FINDS VERY ATTRACTIVE 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Dude!
She can get STDs from another female too, and then pass them on to YOU, NO NO NO.
Gamma
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I am so sorry your going through this. my hubby went through something simular, his ex wife(both of them) left him for a women. I don't have any advice for you other than hang in here and may be a vet on here can offer more advice. Read all you can here. She may very well already be cheating. And seems to me is cheating emotionally. BTW, I think accepting her present would be cheating and might give her an excuse to cheat IMO.
So much peeling...where am I under all this peeling? Yoo-hoo, are you in there...nothing yet.
Me FWW 30
BH 37
DD 2006
Daughter 7
Son 2
Trying to make amends for the huge mess I made.(If you knew Hubby you'd know what I mean by try)
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Your first post 11/12/08You certainly like to compose somewhat salacious situations.Just venting, but im 34 married with 3year old kid, Going on the 2nd kid. Been ,mongering for a while! Im a bouncer at a club at night and a personal trainer day time, Im constantly around women. I dont consisder myself 10 maybe a 7 or 8. I ve read a lot of the posts here and try to take some pointers. I just dont, how to say NO to these girls. When is enough , when do u stop? I thought that at my age i would feel content enough with what i have but i guess not, i feel like i want to travel and stay out later with these girls but feel like i have to report back to my wife. I guess i
ANY POInters, is it normal to feel this way?
I wish there was a life guide that i should follow and do so i would do things the right way.
Sometimes i still feel lilke im in my twenties. All my friends are in their twenties, They are not married some have kids etc.
Is it normal to feel like this at 34. I cant even help looking at other girls when im with my wife. Or when im on my bike i take a look at girls that cross the strret and whistle to them.
Almost got caught with these girls at the club one time because my wifes friends came in the club and told the wife i was with some girls in the private rooms.
The wife now has no trust in me and is always asking me what time im coming home , calling every hour to see if im at the club working?
I dont know what to do anymore, some people say its healthy to have some one on the side, because it keeps the marriage healthy????
Please some feedback! 
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Read a book:
His Needs Her Needs
***here***
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1I DONT THINKK ITS FAIR!! "Fair" shouldn't enter the equation. Instead, use the Policy of Joint Agreement. If you aren't comfortable with your W sleeping with another woman, she shouldn't. Sometimes when a marriage partner is already fooling around with someone else, they try and introduce that person to their partner in the hopes they can spend more time with them (or more). The fact that your W admits she is attracted to this other woman is a red flag.
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No time to say why: no way.
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ok, the POJA is not to be used for destructive activities. It won't erase the damaging effects of adultery. Adultery is damaging no matter how great the level of agreement. For example, my H and I can POJA smoking cigarettes, but it won't protect us from cancer. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Oral sex IS sex. Sexual activity of any kind with anyone other thn your spouse IS adultery. This really is a no-brainer.
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You and your wife both have huge boundary problems.
Absolutely huge.
I suggest (in order of preference):
1) A MarriageBuilders weekend (click "Seminars" at the top or bottom of this page)
2) A MarriageBuilders online course (same link)
3) Buy "Fall in Love, Stay in Love" and work through it together.
I have to ask. You were here over a year ago, asking questions. It is strikingly obvious from your current situation and questions that you read none of the material on here. Why did you bother coming back, if you do not care to read the available information?
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Guys please don't judge me I just came here for some advice, if ididnt have time to read the courses, or books its I have no time read much because of my working schedule. I do have a phone with internet which helps me log on to here.
Regarding my w and me we have been going through marriage counseling for 2 yeras now all because I asked for it to save our marriage for the cheating . Now everything seems like turned 360 on me, because she's the one that wants the wants have some type of adultry by wanting to be with a woman.
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Read a book:
His Needs Her Needs
***here***
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Guys please don't judge me I just came here for some advice, if ididnt have time to read the courses, or books its I have no time read much because of my working schedule. I do have a phone with internet which helps me log on to here.
Regarding my w and me we have been going through marriage counseling for 2 yeras now all because I asked for it to save our marriage for the cheating . Now everything seems like turned 360 on me, because she's the one that wants the wants have some type of adultry by wanting to be with a woman. Then call Steve . I would question your MC ... 2 years is a long time. What did your MC say about this ? and where did MC stands on this ? -rh-
Give your absolute best such that you could look back 10 years from now w/ no regret.
Happily Married to Lady Elina - 04/29/06
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1.WHhat Would YouU guysS say i f your wife of over 10 years with kids offered you an appointment with a call girl for ORASL SEX ONLY? for ur birthday while she watches BUT .NOT Full Service, cause that would be considered cheating, and wouldnt deal with it. I would be horrified. You are, too, right? I would be jumping through every kind of hoop imaginable to find out WHY my wife thought this would be a good idea. You don't think this is a good idea, do you?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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well our MC doesnt know yet were do to see her at our regular schedule next week. I was just informed of this this week? I dont know how to bring this up? Should i bring it up, without her there? Should i confront at the MC? Would she deny it? Should i tell taht i went through her phone and saw all of this???
and i dont want this, I dont want her to do this but seems pretty sure and really wants this. i asid the only way to dothis is if im involved in tis too, just to see what she would say , so she said she dont want that and what if her lover (girl ) dont want that?. I feel like shes been braiwashed????
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No wonder you are in MC for 2+ years and going nowhere. If you can't trust your MC, you are wasting your time and $.
Are you drinking ?.
I don't think you are M material nor honest about saving your M. You just try to find quick fix since the table is turned on you.
Good luck.
Give your absolute best such that you could look back 10 years from now w/ no regret.
Happily Married to Lady Elina - 04/29/06
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