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Yer soundin good. 
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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You could always read Neak's books. You'd have the added advantage of "knowing" the author.  tl
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Don't worry about me, the sadness has since passed. I think it was just to be expected though. I read Mimi's thread from start to finish and I know that every time she slipped in her Plan B, she felt horrible after. ((((Scotty)))), OF COURSE YOU are WONDERFUL..... Ahhhhh Miss Mimi!!!!.....Yep she felt awful after each Plan B slip (did ya happen to notice how often it happened???.....). BUT she came away from it strong each time. She would have LOVED you. I'm glad you read her story....... A sucessful one for sure.....  ....She was an amazing source of strength and encouragement for me (and a good ol'  now and again!!!) Anyway, I wanted to tell you that is you do pick up any of Jodi Picult's book, stay away from "Mercy". The whole story revolves around an adultery line. She did very good in writing it BUT it would be awfully triggering. You sound much better today....give those boys a big ol' MB hug for me.... Not2fun
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I woke up this morning extremely tired. I didn't want to go to work. I forced myself to do it. I put on make-up(I don't usually wear it but people keep telling me it makes my eyes "POP"). I dragged my butt in to work. I had to work on cash since I picked up the shift. I knew something "bad" would happen. To my relief it wasn't that horrible. A story I got to tell my friends. Then after that incident was gone and I handled it with grace, I found myself singing and joking with people. In the back of my mind, I am waiting for the other shoe to fall, but I know I will handle it with grace. I joke with customers too and there was a customer who was talking about God not answering her prayers. She said she thought of Heaven like a huge corporation and God as the CEO. She said that she thinks that HE just didn't get any of her messages yet. I imitated an answering machine and she laffed. I told her that God only answers the prayers that HE needs to and that although we may think we need the prayer answered it may just be that we need to learn a lesson. She then said that she watched Oprah once, and Oprah said, "It has come to a point that when I pray at night, I ask God to please not teach me any lessons tomorrow." I answered her with a good ol' saying from my Dad. He always told me that we learned something new every day and that the day we stopped learning was the day we died. I am definitely going to sleep early again tonight. After the Canadian men's hockey team plays of course. 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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things about me that are wonderful. I am HE-LAIRY-US. I am kind. I am STRONG. I am LOYAL. I AM WONDERFUL. Geez am I full of myself or what? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Gotta get the kids. Dont forget humble.. 
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Geez I totally looked right over that one. How did i miss it? HAHAHAHAHAHA I am not in to myself am I? Okay all joking aside. I know there is a lot of good about me, but there is a lot of bad too. I know my faults and accept them. I also know my strengths too. And I LOVE em. Today another friend told me I should write. Well, I guess I got my prayers answered. Since I didn't listen to my friend yesterday the universe decided to give me another nudge. Neak, I would love to read your books. Lemme know where I can get my grubby little hands on some.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Check out Anne Lamott's non-fiction books for some ideas about writing. My favorite is "Traveling Mercies". She also has a book on how to write called "Bird by Bird" which is very fun.
Hang in there!
johnstwin-
"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther
Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!
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If it hasn't been suggested yet, "The Time Travellers Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. The movie didn't get glowing reports, and I haven't seen it yet, I did however love the book.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Gibbs.
Pardon me while I picture Mark Harmon with a slightly enlarged chest...
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Hey scotty, remember that was one of the most painful things about intimate betrayal. They knew you wern't perfect and were supposed to love you anyway. Of course before everyone gets thier panties in a bunch!! I do not mean marraige at all costs.. lol.
But seriuosly it hurts
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Gibbs.
Pardon me while I picture Mark Harmon with a slightly enlarged chest... Neak got pregnant on her wedding night--thankfully after the reception was over.  When she showed me the positive pregnancy test strip, and was still busy trying to talk us both out of believing it, she asked (just as she removed her shirt) whether she should take one more. I took one look at her usually petite and dainty "frame", and said, "No, Gibbs, I don't think that will be necessary!"  tl
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I had some horrible dreams last night/this morning. The first one was WH telling me that POSOW was sexy and cute and all that. Then I asked what he thought about me and he said I was ugly and he never liked the way I looked. I woke up sad. I know it is not true, but it still sucked.
The second dream was what I like to call a "movie" dream where I am just watching what is going on. Well it was POSOW and a friend of her's. They were talking about her life. Her friend then said something about her family life. POSOW said she was "working on it" and this was in Sep/07(I saw a date in my dream) and it was supposed to be about trying to get my WH. Stupid dreams.
Well, on another note, the library called me to tell me that a book I reserved was in. It was LOVE BUSTERS. So I will start to read it tonight. WOOOOHOOOOO.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Ok, before I totally I have to give Scotty a big  . It will get better. And now... Slightly enlarged, indeed. A while ago, the Dervish saw a commercial for NCIS and nearly leaped with excitement. "HE HAS OUR LAST NAME!!!" Of course he thought we must have gotten our last name from Leroy Jethro, and I had to crush his tender hopes.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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>there was a customer who was talking about God not answering her prayers
Sometimes no is an answer. Just because she doesn't get what she wants doesn't mean she wasn't answered.
He knows WAY better than the rest of us.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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A friend of mine once told me years ago (and it struck me as so profound I've remembered it verbatim since): God answers EVERY prayer. And there are four possible answers.- Yes
- Yes, but first you have to do something...
- No, not now
- No, I love you too much for that
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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>there was a customer who was talking about God not answering her prayers
Sometimes no is an answer. Just because she doesn't get what she wants doesn't mean she wasn't answered.
He knows WAY better than the rest of us. There were two little girls talking before christmas. Both girls wanted the new popular doll, lets call it "Chatty patty" 1st girl asked second, "What will you do to get it?" 2nd said "I will pray and ask God for it, He allways answers my prayers" 1st one said, "Bah, God, I will get my Mom to get it for me watch.." So 1st girl asked and bugged and tortured Mom into getting the doll, they couldn't afford it but she got it anyway. There was a lot of fit throwing involved After Xmas the two girls met up and talked. When they talked about how there xmas was they both were happy and excited. 1st girl.."I got everything I wanted, Mom had to work an extra shift so she was tired and Daddy already works two jobs because we just bought a big house but we saw each other that morning and got a bunch of stuff. We are so happy! You look happy too what was your Xmas like?" 2nd girl smiled and said..."We spent the evening together before and talked about all the gifts we were blessed with. We all went down to the homeless shelter and handed out blankets and someone even gave presents to the children. When we got home Daddy read the night before Xmas and sang carols and went to bed. We got up together and opened presents after having breakfast then went to church. It was so much fun!" 1st girl said.."Did you get the chatty patty doll? " 2nd.. "nope" 1st.. "Hah I thought you said God answers all your prayers? He didn't answer that one huh?" 2nd.. "Yes he did, he just said no" I also think of the Garth Brook song, "Unanswered prayers", (I think thats the name..)
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Scotty, thanks for all your help reaching out to other BWs who are frightened half to death.
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NP Pep. I remember all too well the feelings and how you can't always listen to what others are telling you because you are just so confused.
So, last night, DS9 was at a sleep over. WH called twice and then left an email message for the boys. DS7 didn't want to talk to WH or email him back, so I just lef tit at that. DS7 and I had a sleep over at my house(hehehehehe).
Then after DS9 was dropped off this morning, we went outside to build snowmen. DS9 built 4 snowmen. He said it was a snow family. We put old pairs of shorts on the heads. It looked cute. Then we went for a walk in all of the snow.
Still have a bit of the sad feelings from operation olive branch. I need to refocus.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotty, thanks for all your help reaching out to other BWs who are frightened half to death.
Yes, scotty thanks for reaching out to me and knowing that I am not alone in my feelings. Thanks to everyone else as well.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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You probably won't find #1 any cheaper than in the link below, but feel free to look on Amazon, too.