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Just a question.
Does one spouse's inability to "perform" justify cheating and/or divorce?
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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No, because there are *always* ways around an inability to perform. There's medicine. There's EVERYTHING.
There is NEVER, EVER a reason for cheating.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Marriage is more than performance. Marriage is a partnership for many purposes including the best way to raise future generations.
SF is one way of sealing the bond. It is not the only way.
Most erectile disorders can be addressed. Having one's capability shot off or destroyed in an accident even has methods developed to take care of it with very, very few exceptions.
Without more specifics, which you may not be having a Viagra moment enough to tell, it is hard to say more.
It "is" a convenient excuse for those without boundaries. It "is" an "Excuse" for adultery. But it is not a reason.
Larry
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Are you having an affair, Rock?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No, I am not. This just seems to be my wife's justification at the moment.
It is just difficult to come to terms that I was just a penis to her and that was all my marriage was based on.
Last edited by Rock__; 02/28/10 05:43 PM.
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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No, I am not. This just seems to be my wife's justification at the moment.
It is just difficult to come to terms that I was just a penis to her and that was all my marriage was based on. I know the feeling. Of course, Every time it comes to pay the bills, I realize I was more to her than just that.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Oh puuuleeeeeze. You cannot be a guy and not hear all the comments by guys about their girlfriends (or wives): she is a life support system for, uh, certain organs.
It can work that way for some women as well.
I have known women for whom the latest conquest was a real high.
I have known women for whom the latest infatuation was sought.
I have known women for whom being a groupie was a big deal.
I have known women for whom pulling a train was a good weekend.
And I have zero respect for any of the above all the way to the top of my comment.
Got kids? Get all the evidence and fight for custody. No kids, how fast can you run? Grow a pair and do the right thing.
Larry
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It's not been a good day for me. WW once again violated my Plan B boundaries. It's ticked me off.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Fred
I did a quick reply. That rant wasn't directed at you. It was tough love for rock.
Larry
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Nope. And there is no good excuse or reason in my opinion. My WH never actually admitted to an affair every(he lives with POSOW so DUHHHHHH) but I know tat he felt like I just wasn't that "into it". Well, I actually always enjoyed myself. I NEVER thought we had a problem with SF until about a year ago. That is when I believe his A started.
As my sister says, even if you have sex EVERYDAY that is what, 30 minutes or so out of 24 hours. What do you fill the other 23.5 hours with. A marriage is built on MORE than SF. It is important but it's lack is NO EXCUSE, EVER.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Just a question.
Does one spouse's inability to "perform" justify cheating and/or divorce? Frankly speaking: 1. There is no justification for cheating. None. 2. However, if the need for SF is just not being met, for any reason, and it's a top EN for one of the spouses, then IMO there are basically two choices (a) stay together and continue to be miserable, or (b) part ways for the benefit of you both.
ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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Rock, are you trying to reason with a drunk again? Instead of doing that, just go stand in the mirror and slap yourself. It will be more productive............and you won't have to listen to the insane ramblings of a practicing alcoholic. The mirror doesn't talk back.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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