|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5 |
My husband and i have been married a year and ahalf and are getting divorced. We were high school sweethearts and he moved away. We got back together three years later when he moved back. Within a months time I was pregnant. We got married a month before our daughter was born. things were fine at first but then we realized that neither one of us were ready for the long haul. I will admit I hit him when he cheated on me before we got married then again after we got married when he cheated again. This past December we got into an arguement and he decided to beat me and give me a black eye, busted lip and several bruises on my arms. I left him a month later. He was very upset that I left and took our daughter with me. Now he went and filed for divorce. I don't have a problem getting divorced I just don't really understand how I am going to deal with it. He has told me that I abandoned our marriage and that if I didn't have a job within 90 days I would lose our daughter and he would get custody over her and I will only have visitation. I am just really confused.  Me:23 WH:21 D:1
Oklahomagirl
Me:23
WH:21
Daughter:1
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
OKgirl, do you have the support of your parents? Did you file assault charges against him when he beat you up?
You need to protect yourself and your daughter from your husband. He is a dangerous man and you need to stay away from him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5 |
Yes i went and filed a report and I do have the support of my parents. My dad and stepmom let me move in with them and they are the ones that came and got me and my daughter.
Oklahomagirl
Me:23
WH:21
Daughter:1
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Good! Stay there and keep away from this dangerous man. If he comes around you, file a restraining order. I would also suggest you file for divorce and don't let him around your daughter unless it is for SUPERVISED visits only.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5 |
I dont want to do that I want him to be part of her life. i don't think he will ever do any thing to her he is a good father but a bad husband he is not ready for a commitment.
Oklahomagirl
Me:23
WH:21
Daughter:1
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I dont want to do that I want him to be part of her life. i don't think he will ever do any thing to her he is a good father but a bad husband he is not ready for a commitment. However, Dr. Greer says to be aware of specific signs a person is capable of hurting you. If your spouse or ex exhibits any of these behaviors, seek help immediately.
� Explosive anger or violence (i.e., throws objects, is physically aggressive)
� Blocks exits or hides car keys to prevent leaving
� Isolates you from family and friends or otherwise limits your contact with the outside world
� Emotional abuse (name-calling, ridicule, frequent criticism)
� Disregards your feelings and has a complete focus on their own needs
Last edited by Pepperband; 03/02/10 01:25 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
A GOOD FATHER never beats the child's mother.
You are wrong.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5 |
that is very touching and it brought tears to my eyes.
Oklahomagirl
Me:23
WH:21
Daughter:1
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 170
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 170 |
First, if I had a dime for every time my husband threatened to "get" full custody of our kids if I didn't do x, y and z, I could pay off my lawyer. Let those comments roll right off.
Second, he IS abusing your daughter. And the abuse can escalate into something much more horrific if you don't take it seriously. My own kids have witnessed so much abuse (not physical, which he always managed to hide), and believe me, although it's pointed at me, its effecting how they develop and cope in very uncool ways.
Third, go to House of Ruth and get some free counseling. This is not just good advice for your mental stability, it has a great tactical value in the divorce proceedings. Especially if you were stupid like I was and never called the police on the jerk. I can't say enough great things about HoR. They provided me and my kids with not only counseling, but Christmas presents, theatre tickets, clothes, food, paid my utilities one month, and got my locks changed at their expense. Wonderful people there.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5 |
How do I get in contact with HOR???
Oklahomagirl
Me:23
WH:21
Daughter:1
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
403
guests, and
31
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
