NotRomeo:
Here is a link to some sample no contact letters.
Write one (hand written is best) and give it to your wife so that YOUR WIFE may mail it. That will help reassure her that you are serious about saving your marriage and ending your feelings for OW.

Sample NC letters

Notromeo, my husband's first affair was with an unrequited love. She was long distance as well. They went from a phone call out of the blue from her to emailing daily, to phone calls to finally consumating their "relationship" in a matter of months. I felt the love drain out of my H during that time. I KNEW what was going on and wish I had known about MB back then. Maybe exposing it when it was an EA would have stopped them. My H told the OW in an email how he would lay on the couch with me, his WIFE, and pretend it was her.

What I am telling you is that your betrayed WIFE knows what is going on instinctively and your only hope of saving your marriage and yourself is to tell her everything. You need to cut off this R with the OW immediately, inform her BH of what you two have been doing and get rid of FB.

Every moment you spend chatting with her, emailing her, phoning her is time and affection STOLEN from your wife and children.

See what this "relationship" has turned you into?

You've become a man who steals from his family.

End it with OW.
Block her on FB and email.
Erase her phone number.
Tell your wife.
Read all you can on this site and through Dr. Harley's books about meeting each other's emotional needs.

BE the human/father/husband you are supposed to be...do not deign to be a theif, because that's all you will ever be again if you don't end it with OW.

Good lord.

I read the first post and thought Nora Roberts had come to MB.

Thank you for my first laugh of the morning.

Thanks for the funny!

Hey it�s not me. This stuff is high comedy.





But�..here is why none of this is real.



They talked regularly but when he returns home to her blushing, shaking and giggling that Christmas he did not know she had moved? Really?

Come on. What a pantload. Get an editor Nora!

Nora won�t be back.

Ya know, Chrisner, I went back and re-read the story, and I think you're right.

Another thing: In the 2 weeks before he had to go back to school, when she was livng back in his hometown, he only got to see her in a group after that date where he didn't even get to kiss her? He had enough time to talk to her on the phone for 2-3 hours a night, but not to go see her or go on a date with her?

NotRomeo, if it wasn't that there were two young families involved, this would really be quite funny.

Sweetie, get things in perspective. Pretty much all of us have one of 'those' romances in our background. Oh, don't we remember the shaking, the sweating, the joy of glimpsed moments, the sense of 'completion', the delirium. Was your more intense than mine, or JL's, or KiwiJ's? Who knows? All that's clear is that this kind of intense emotional experience is a part of being young.

And there's nothing quite as pure and perfect in the memory as an unconsummated romance. Is there?

So while I do believe that your present emotions are intense, I'd ask you to dump your head in cold water for long enough to consider that the intensity of your feelings comes from the echo of YoungRomeo, not the reality of CurrentRomeo.

You have no real evidence that you and NotJuliet would ever have been able to make a working couple. Think about it. Chances are actually quite high that you would have dated for a year or two, then you would have got bored with, say, her hopeless romanticism, and the two of you would have drifted apart quite naturally. It's the LACK of data that provides fodder for your current daydreams.

Now, let's look at the timing of all this FB adventuring. You've recently had a child and become responsible for two dependents. Big, scary, adult stuff. And suddenly you find yourself running to someone who represents the young, unencumbered, sky's-the-limit version of Not. Can you join the dots? You don't need to be a psychologist to see the connection, do you?

But let's assume that all this is True Love, and nothing to do with Sudden Adult Panic Syndrome. Let's say you and Juliet are unable to resist the Soulmate pull. Let's see, you'd have to leave your wife and child, and she'd have to leave her husband. However, being a mother, she'd take her kids with her. Which would leave you having to support a new household of four, two of whom would, very likely, hate your guts for breaking apart their family. You'd also be supporting your abandoned family, and probably fighting to get some cash out of Juliet's husband (and I'm sure he'd be thrilled to pay for his children to be raised by the man who stole his wife). And that's not considering the practical problem of where to live, so that you get to see your child, and Juliet's kids get to see their father on a regular basis.

Do you think it would still feel romantic?

And what if (I realise this seems very unlikely), Juliet turns out to be not such a slice of heaven to live with as you dreamed? What if the reality of life together with her kids is a bit uncomfortable, a bit depressing, a bit...like the real life you left?

Where would that leave you? Divorced, broke, raising another man's children, watching your own child being raised by the man your wife chooses once she's got over the trauma (or before, if you're unlucky)? But h@ll, Juliet's your soulmate! That would make up for all the pain!

However, it might be as well to explore a few myths that you and Juliet are probably telling each other.

1) Your respective spouses will let you go sadly but kindly, aware that's it's the best thing for all of you. Like h@ll. This doesn't happen.

2) Her kids will adore you. Of course! You broke up their family! You exploded their lives! You're their hero!

3) Your marriages are dead. I think that may come as a surprise to both your spouse and hers. And don't forget - a person who can abandon one marriage for an old flame can probably light up a few more old flames once the spark's not so frisky on the new marriage. How safe would you really feel?

Let's be clear - you're allowing yourself to be seduced by a fantasy and that is really, really, really, really, really, really, really stupid. Close your FB account, tell your wife, get yourself into IC and GROW UP!!!

TA

This thread is probably the product of a couple teenage girls with nothing better to do after school than stir up an infidelity forum.

If it really is a boy, he should stick to Dungeons and Dragons.

My first thought was a Harlequin Romance novel...Maybe instead of being NoRomeo (and you know what happened to him) try "FABIO"

A most excellent post, TA.

CLASSIC

Even if this thread was started under false pretenses, it brought up some good advice that COULD be used for lurkers whom are too frightened to actually post. It also had a t/j that was well worth getting out there. SO, THANK YOU NOROMEO.

I agree Scotland and there have been some great posts here. TA's was outstanding.

Unfortunately I am pretty sure it was just a practice round.

I just don�t see a legitimate 35 year old man writing about giggling, flushing, blushing, basking and shaking in a huge pap of a preamble leading to adultery on a forum mostly populated by betrayed spouses.

Then flush boy responds right out of the chute with profanity laced rants to his responders.

And still��


He was clueless she had moved. It brings tears to my eyes.

Where for art thou Romeo?

You got some 'splainin' to do.

So Chris, what I wanna know is how you'd recognize Nora Robert's writing style? Hmmm?

I blame DGS.

"I'm about to let one"


GREAT !
Now I need my inhaler, I laughed so hard I'm wheezing.