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AJ says if you're in a major city you can get a prepaid Boost Mobile phone. Leave the phone on and put it in his car. The one below is $129.99 and pay as you go, cheaper than many GPS's. Sanyo Incognito: http://www.boostmobilestore.com/bpdirect/boost/PhoneList.do?action=view
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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This is a crazy idea but what if you had one of those unlimited plans on a phone you could hide way deep in the driver side of the car...then LEAVE IT ON! Leave the channel open for a day or two....You would hear what he said to her every day! Probably a crazy idea.
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Will work and check into those ideas!!! Think I finally have MIL motivated into calling WH to at least just talk. No one on their side is even calling him. They are sitting there and just waiting for things to happen. The only thing that they have been doing is calling and talking to me (nice support but dang it...call your son and read him the riot act on a regular basis!!!!!!). That was the clean version of what I was thinking...fyi! LOL!
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When he falls asleep, his phone is still right on his hip. He never takes it off. I'll try tonight the search for him without following him. As far as a friend, I don't know who that would be for certain. I don't have a whole lot of friends that wouldn't be obvious to him.
Unfortunately we have sprint but not nextel!
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It never hurts to check - call and see if they are now set up to view TM's online. The worst they can tell you is no.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I will call and check on that. I will also have to check to see if I can make the changes because the account is in his name only. I could enable GPS on his cell phone, but a text gets sent to his phone if I do this. If I can get the phone away from him at any time to enable GPS and delete the text, I will do that, but am checking into the other ideas as well.
Great interactions with WH tonight when he was here when I got home from work. Talked for a good 15 minutes before he left. Got a smile when he saw me, got my one armed hug before he left, and got a squeeze of the hand to when I reached out to touch his hand.
Ok...I am going to ask a question here for my own educational purposes (Not that I am expecting anything at this point yet, just truly curious) so please don't beat me up for asking. LOL. I am the type of person that likes to know what to expect, plan for, and what's normal.
If and when a WS decides they want to R, especially one that has moved out of the house, how do they usually approach that subject. Do they come back with bags in hand? Do they move back in unannounced? Do they try to talk to BS? What is typical? I was just curious to know what might happen if WH decides that he would like to come back home and work on R of the M.
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They usually DO come back to the marriage, so that is in your favor. What brings them back is a great Plan A (including exposure) followed by a strong Plan B.
He WON'T come back right now - so don't get your hopes up. When you think about it, why should he? He thinks he has the best of both worlds, a loving family and his whore.
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IMHO, they don't come back fully wanting you in plan A, seems those ones lead to false recoveries. Plan B makes more of an impact after a great plan A.
As to how they come back... they vary, but usually saying something along the lines of "I'll do whatever it takes..."
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Well...had an interesting phone call with WH tonight. Needed to call him to check some scheduling things for the week with him. I said it sounded like he was busy and he could call me later if he needed to. He said that he was just walking a dog. Well, I know for a fact that she has a cat, because DS and DD told me so, and no dog was mentioned. He agreed to watch the kids on an additional night that I needed him to in order to do something for work (paid, which is always good!!). Who's dog is it???
Another interesting fact...Thursday texts-45, Friday texts-34, Saturday texts-95, Sunday texts-6, Monday texts-5. This was after taking any texts out from me. Interesting??? (Just comments, not hoping or expecting!)
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Good - don't expect anything. Hubby could be walking the cat, who knows? You are setting yourself up for disappointments by watching the texts. The affairees have ups and downs, and also could be that the days without excessive texts they were together.
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Yeah, cats can be walked, it just takes forever and a day to get them used to it and cooperative with it.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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It could be just a neighbour's dog and he is house sitting. I really wouldn't think about it too much. But I did have a good laff thinking of it as POSOW with a doggie face. The text thing also doesn't mean too much. You also should know the stats on WS coming home with Plan A alone. That is 15%. That means that you are MORE likely to have to go to Plan B. Don't get discouraged though, this Plan B thing isn't all bad. Some things are good. I'll tell you more about that as you get prepared for it.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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He hates cats!!! Always has and always will, with good reason!!
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He can hate cats, and maybe he is walking an elephant, or maybe he is not telling you the truth. He isn't home, spends little time with his family and is having an affair.
You are doing well, so continue on the MB plan A with EXPOSURE. That is where your energy needs to go.
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Agree 100%. FWIW, I could always tell when they were together because the texts would all but dry up. Don't let it fret you. You've gotta find out where she lives and who she is. Have you tried doing a background check on your WH to see if any new info pops up? Just brainstorming here....there's always a way, somehow. If all else fails (you aren't there yet), ask WH point-blank for her info, and tell him you want to make sure she doesn't have a criminal record, in case the children are ever exposed to her. Let's see...are you sure none of the numbers on the bill are hers? Even if they're mostly texting, there's got to be a few calls in there, too. WS's aren't that great at hiding stuff. Somewhere there is likely to be key information that you haven't recognized yet. Nothing against you, it's just sometimes you have to think so far outside the box that you wonder if there even is a box. Keep at it; you'll get there.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Haven't done a background check. Is there a specific place to do a reliable background check?
I don't know for certain that none of the numbers aren't hers, but very few actually repeat from month to month and the couple that do, I found out are people that he works with.
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Intelius is pretty cheap, and will cross-reference his addresses with the people who live/lived in them. If he doesn't have anything in his name going to that address it might not show up yet, still I think it's worth a try.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Remind me again why you're sure it's not someone he works with? He could very well have lied about the first name. He could have lied that it's someone you don't know. You just won't know until you know. (Very profound - you can quote me on that! )
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Neak is right - I wouldn't assume that he has told you the truth about anything. An affair partner is usually someone the cheater works with, a "friend", someone they met through sports, activities, etc. Most people don't plan to have an A, they just get close to someone and then abandon boundaries.
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I am 99% sure it is not someone that he works directly with because at the station there are only about 4 o 5 women. One is the chief of EMS and I know it would not be her (can't explain this without being mean to a person who really is nice, but I can guarantee it is not her), the one gal that I know well is married and have talked with her (she is pro our marriage), the rest, well, he is not their type (if you know what I mean).
It is possible that he met the OW at a hospital when they took a patient there, but they don't work directly together and wouldn't necessarily see each other every day as he may not even be on the ambulance. He no longer works the other part time jobs and haven't since the end of race season.
I have seen when he posted on some internet dating sites and he had a web cam (which I took away and hid the first time I knew he was looking on the internet and chatting with women). I made him take those particular "ads" or whatever you call them down and I kept trying to keep track of what he did on the internet to the best that I knew how at that time. (Didn't know about keyloggers then). I am pretty sure there was a HUGE gap between when I found those "ads" and when he met OW because he acted completely different and was significantly remorseful.
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