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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 18
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vy_vy Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 18
I would like to have the opinion of people who have read it.

Joined: Nov 1998
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Joined: Nov 1998
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W and I actually used this book in conjunction with our first couples counseling, which was with another couple who did recommend it. I read all of it, W read most of it and we did some (though not nearly all) of the exercises in it. I don't think either of us was all that enthusiastic about it, can't say exactly why. My position now is this. Couples fall apart because the bond of intimacy between them goes away, for whatever reason. Usually this reason is infidelity on the part of one of them. Until this bond of intimacy is restored, you can teach people all the techniques in the world for hearing each other and it's not going restore the marriage. I don't think most counselors (including the ones who write books on relationships) understand this fact, or understand either the fact that infidelity is probably responsible for the great majority of marital problems. (The Harville Hendrix book doesn't address itself to these kinds of issues at all, as I recall.)<P>If I were a couples counselor, practically the first question I'd ask of any couple who came to me is, "Okay, now who's cheating on whom here?" Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 456
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Joined: Aug 1999
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"Geting the Love you want" was one of the first books I found and read after discovery. I underlined a lot of the points it made and shared them with my H. I actually read MOST of the book to him whenever we traveled somewhere for more than an hour or two. I was fasinated with many of its points originally, and wanted my H to go through the exercises with me. Although we had some interesting and lively converstaions spurred by what Hendrix wrote, we never got around to doing any of the exercises. At one point we were going to attend a three day workshop run by a cousin who is a counselor, which is based on this book, but we did not make it there either. Would be interested to hear your take on it, and if any of its theories ring true for you.<P>Beth


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