I have been separated from my wife since 2000 and been divorced since 2006. She had an affair back in about 1997 and after that things were bad for us because of trust issues etc. She left me first and she divorced me and I tried so much to keep her and my family together...eventually it was clear to me that she did not want me and I could see that I walked away from her, even though I still wanted her and loved her. Through it all we had a bitter battle and we both lost everything financially and both went bankrupt. I have been living common law with the same woman since 2002 and we have a child together that is four years old. Things have never been good for us and in spite of my efforts and my requests for her to do all she can to improve our relationship, she never does anything to do so. I left her twice, back in I think 2003 and maybe again in 2004....
I don't feel real love for her and don't think she feels that for me either.

My ex wife has had various relationships over the years - some live in and some not, but nothing has worked out and remains single.

In spite of all that has happened with my ex wife I have and still do love her and don't understand that because I don't think that I should given what has happened. I am thinking about getting back with my ex-wife again. We did try and get together again once back in 2004, but it did not work out mostly because she was still talking to her ex and she also was plotting to do something to hurt my ex girfriend and I did not think that was right.

My question is what do you think I should do....with my ex wife was the only time that I was really happy and we were together for about 16 years and she seems to be aware that she made some huge mistakes that cost her big time and she says she still loves me as lot, as I do love her.

I suggest you get some counseling. Can't figure out why in the world you would bring a precious little girl into the world if you still think you love your lying, cheating wife.

Living with a woman you didn't care for is bad enough, but having a child with her is inexcusable. I feel sorry for your daughter.

I think you should
* Never have any contact with your adulterous ex-wife.
* Make the mother of your child your legitimate wife.
* Get to reading on this site: click "Basic concepts" at the top and read through EVERYTHING, going through all the links on the left hand side to get an overview of what this site can do for you. Then click "Q&A columns" and do the same thing for every one of those.
* Use the principles on this site to build a fantastic marriage with your wife, the mother of your child.