Please I really need a Good Advice. Thank you to all. I am completely desperate, Sad, Crying all of my emotions in a roller coaster.

My Fianc� broke our engagement because I Lie to her, our wedding supposed to be next month. So about 1 1/2 years I move to her apartment, sold my house. lost my job, have to save money then, just lease 1 storage, but still some furniture that it didn�t feet in the storage and a lot of boxes. so I call a girl, that I meet 2 years before I met my fianc�, a lady that she was living close to my house, saw her 4 times, slept with her once.

This other girl fall in love with me then and she chased me like crazy, I call her when I was moving with my girlfriend and ask her if i can storage some furniture and about 30 boxes in her garage, her answer was yes, told her that I was living the country and I will contact her later, also she asked me if she can have an opportunity with me after I come back to USA, and I said Yes, thinking that I will use her that way and she have my things in a safe place.

Two months later I contacted her via email (I created an account just to communicate with her, without my fianc� knowing, I hide it) I check that email once a month or two months, every time that I log in , I found emails from this lady, saying most of the time �Baby when are you coming back, I miss you and Love you� well I replied with things that she want to her, with the only intention that my stuff will be safe.

Also last January my fianc� and I decided to buy a house,, before the wedding in April, we supposed to close in the house April 1st, in 2 more weeks.

Also my fianc� was trying to trust me because last year I saw probably 2-3 adult videos in the internet, sign in for 2 accounts, 2 times in a time frame of 6 months, se definitely was not ok with that and she caught me the second time, so she start to get worried every time that I was by myself in the house, every time, she got too much in fear, so that put too much stress in the relationship.

Well 3 weeks ago, she check my iphone and I didn�t erase the email and she saw a replied of this lady. Well, a week later she asked me if I have any secrets and I told her no�I was lying! Well next morning I told her , Honey I have a secret, so I told her the true of that lady. She didn�t say anything and left to work, that was Thursday, she called me to go to a date the coming Saturday, I said great honey.

I work Saturdays because I have a retail store, so I live kind of early, so I can get home an pick her up and go to a nice dinner, well when I got home, WOW!!! Big surprise 2 of her friends were there, she pack of my things and put them outside, I asked her, what�s going on, she said to me get the F�out of here, never we said bad words at home, I got really scare, I stay at the motel, she gave me a print out of those two adult sites, because I lie to her too.

Well, I beg her, sent 1000�s text, email everything, my life is miserable right now, just start therapy, yesterday, I miss her I still crying�..don�t know what to do. She wrote me a letter 2 weeks ago, saying goodbye�well horrible.

Last Sunday aske me where I was staying a told her, she came to visit me, we both cried, we have intimacy, she stayed with me all night, I thought I have a hope and I was coming home, I was wrong, in the morning told me that she already made her decision. Well is almost 3 weeks, what I should do, since Monday I start NC, and I am more miserable, thinking , want to text her, call her, write more letters, probably sent her 10 letters the first week saying the same thing.

Well that doesn�t work. What I should do? How can I get her back? Does she needs time to miss me? Does the NC works? She never mention anything about the ring. Why? Why it that means? She told me to pick up the rest of my things on the 20th, so in 2 days, so how I will act and say this Saturday. She is going to be there, I don�t have a key of the house, she took it from me. Please help me, Need very good advice in how to win her back.

Please click the edit button at the bottom of your post and break what you said into paragraphs.

With a space in between like I just did.

A mass of words is hard to read.

Larry

W2R


I suspect you have been told this before. I didn't read all of the posts from your other thread.

1. You are obsessed. Therapy with the right person can help that. With the wrong person, probably not.
2. She should never have given you hope.
3. What you did shows a lack of character and integrity and is the reason she is bailing on you.
4. Lack of character is a deal breaker.
5. Building character takes time and work. It doesn't happen over night.
6. Building character also takes consequences. You just learned that.

You can't get her back because that means you are trying to make a decision FOR her instead of working on yourself so you can live a decent life.

What country are you from. That would help me to style my replies to you.

Larry

I know don't the country he's FROM, Larry, but I do know he lives in Texas now. That's on his first thread in 2009. Perhaps you could go round to his house and shake some growing up into him. (How big is Texas, anyway?!)

He's been living with this woman and her 8 year-old daughter. This is not a good situation for the couple and especially the daughter. He was caught in inappropriate conduct in 2009, and received help here to restore the relationship. He then stayed in contact with the Chicago woman and hurt his fiancee yet again. Each time he weeps because of what HE lost.

Nip round and slap some sense into him, please. Figuratively, of course. No real violence!

Texas is bigger than most Brits think; it is smaller than most Texans think.

Why don't you do the first really decent and unselfish thing in your life and just leave this poor woman?

Agreed.

If your fiancee came on this site, I'd tell her to leave you and cut off all contact with you forever. You have proven you are not a good candidate for marriage. Cheating before marriage is a dealbreaker.

If I were you, I would focus this time on changing who you are, so that can have a successful relationship in the future. No relationships until you fix what is wrong with you.

He sounds middle east. If that is the case, the sense of entitlement shown even by those in love from that part of the world almost always makes them a poor choice for marriage. It is a cultural thing. I have seen exactly one (1) successful marriage with a guy from the middle east and honestly, the guy was way more smart than the average bear. This is not a blanket condemnation of the middle east, just a recognition of the cultural dynamics of men from that part of the world that they struggle to overcome.

Multi-cultural marriages have special issues. Many years ago, I posted to a forum that dealt specifically with the issues of multi-cultural marriages. I shared what I know from my world travels and college education - continuing hobby of cultural psychology.

A real Texan attitude for self reliance and hard work helps us to feel bigger than our geographical boundaries. We have just enough of the whiners and blame every one else crowd imported from other states, to convince ourselves that to live in Austin is to live in lala land.

Larry

While on the subject, I remember a conversation I once had with a friend from the middle east (Jordan). It seems his business partner was married to a lady from here and my friend was married to a lady from his home country. We started talking about the problems his partner was having because he cheated on his wife.

Knowing middle east culture as I do, I asked him if he was ever tempted to do the same thing. His replay was interesting and I just remembered it.

"No, I never cheat. My wife is from our country and she knows all about it. She told me if I ever got caught cheating, she would wait for my sleep and cut it off and feed to the hogs. I am not smart enough to not get caught, so I don't cheat."

"Really," says I, "she is that mean?"

"Women from my country who come here go crazy. I believe her."

Larry