Ummmmmmm.......well.......ummmmmmm....Nah..

Morals and guilt should be your last concern?

Really?

Can you imagine if everyone lived by that mantra?

In N Out

"Quality you can taste."

MmmmmmmMmmmmmmmmm GOOD !

PTG, you may as well have written this:

� Well, I got married to my boyfriend even after finding out he had cheated on me, thing is I signed the marriage papers with my left hand, I am right handed by the way, which means I am not really married, right? Well, so I sleep with my FIL who is not really my FIL cause I am not �really married� and now I have feelings for him too, but they are different than to my H who isn�t really my H.

Well, it gets worse cause now my H suspects something and told my MIL and now she is hitting on me. My esteemed highly trained counselor tells me I should go to bed with my MIL too (who really isn�t..well you know) so I can deal with childhood issues from my past.

Well, wouldn�t you know it, but a travelling circus comes to town and I think I am starting to have feelings for this midget, uh, I mean vertically challenged man. I mean strong feelings. My esteemed counselor says I should sleep with the midget, vertically challenged, man too because that would be the perfect way to resolve my childhood issues since he kinda looks like a kid and all.

Now I am so confused I don�t know what to do. I guess my real question is do I sleep with the midget to get back at my father in law to make my MIL mad so that my H will find out we aren�t really married and I can, what???!!! I am so confused, somebody help��

Break up with everyone including the counselor, it will all be better in the long run. Listen to jmwc, he gave you good advice.

Adios.

SWW

They were saving that one for next Friday sick.

Help! I can't breathe!!!

Do you find my problem amusing?
I too have doubts concerning my therapist, and I don't take for granted everything he says...maybe he was just trying to relieve some of my guilt in the beginning of the therapy, in order to work on other issues he thought might be at the core of the problem...
But! He is only human...
I am the only one who can solve this and I know breaking up with both man is a very good idea. Problem is....I can't do it, or I think I can't do it, or I am to afraid of losing ...well, them.
I don't look for excuses for my behaviour, I don't justify it as being "normal" or "good"...and I dont' intend to continue on this path.
Why some people find this torment amusing is beyond my power of comprehension...of course, there are biger problems, people dealing with hunger, cancer, terorism in the world....and my problems are so small compared to those...but you know, for everyone, his problem is the most important...

PTG


Yes indeed and he is also a Licensed Professional Counselor, who pledge to do no harm. And what he is doing is harmful. He is trying the old game of "Feel good." This means he tells you anything you want to hear, which means you will like him, and want to come back and pay him money.


Most think you are a troll. In other words, a pretender who is pulling their leg. So they pull your leg in return. Your story has almost nothing in common with the great majority of situations who arrive on our doorstep for help. It fact, it is way out there in a strange land that most on here simply cannot relate to very well.

Understand that the usual person who comes here is in a great deal of emotional pain, both those who have been betrayed and those who betray. Adultery is way up there in horrific results, initially for the betrayed and often, for the betrayer. I just read about a wayward husband who committed suicide. Sad.

1. Dump the dang money grubbing idiot therapist. If you want to gnaw on him (he deserves it), say so and I will look up some good shrink words you can use on his sorry butt.
2. Make up your mind which of these guys you can see living with, trusting and loving for decades.
3. Which one do YOU trust yourself with?
4. Or, dump both of them, get some perspective on who you are and what you want in life, then go for it.
5. You are NOT getting younger. It is time for you to get your big girl panties on and do the right thing. Let me say that again, your job, task, mission, is to do the right thing.

Now leaving all that aside, what is the right thing to do?

Larry

the motto of all the criminals in the BIG HOUSE!

Ok, thank you for sheding some light on this...I googled "Troll"...
First of all, English is not my first language, so maybe I'm not able to describe my feelings as accurate as I'd like to.
Second, my story is for real and I too am in great emotional distress...but somehow I always manage to maintain my calm, even in rough times...execpt for the times when I found out about my bf's affair...back then I was hysterical, out of control, destroyed.
Now...I have ups and downs: some days I am optimist about the future, and I feel ready to disclose everything to my bf and work on our relationship...other times i miss the other man terribly...and some days I just don't wanna exist.
Since my life turned so complicated, I started working a lot (I work in research) even 12-14 hrs per day, in order to stop thinking about all this, all the time...but even so, You see...I am here , writing about thos, unable to sleep

He's only human!!!

Are you kidding me? Human's are capable of higher levels of thought than your counselor is providing. Even Dog's, cat's, bird's and other animals have a sense of social order and what is right and wrong for them.

You being human means you are capable of rational thought. Suggesting that you cannot do the right thing (leaving both of these guys) is to suggest that you are not capable of rational thought and determining what is right and wrong for you. Do you think having two lying, cheating, men in your life is good for you? To quote Dr. Phil "How's that working for you?"


Please, please do us the honor of using your head for more than carrying your hair around. You are capable of rational thought, in fact you are probably far brighter than that quack you call a counselor. And trust me that counselor doesn't want what he/she apparently has said to you to ever get to his professional licensing board.

Please step back and do some serious thinking.

JL

Yes, frankly.

I have seen far far too many situations and cared for too many people and helped too many people for me to not have a highly accurate triage portion in my brain.

Whether you admit it or not I suspect you LOVE living in your little Cosmo magazine drama. Spices up your dull existence.

Your problems are entirely created by you and sustained by you.

Your problems stop the MOMENT you stop propagating them.

You have three vile egocentric morons in your life by invitation. Quit your risible "therapissed", dump both the moron std-bags and spend some time alone with your thoughts, conscience and if you believe, God.

And yes read "buyers renters and freeloaders" and ingest it. It will explain the motivations of all the morons in your life.

All blessings.

Thank you all for answering...as said on the site..."food for thought"...

BINGO!!

You CAN do it, you just don't WANT to.

The current situation is unhealthy and you are suffering because of it. You have come here looking for help, which tells me you do want to change.

Step ONE - What do you want? What is your goal?
Step TWO - What is your plan to reach your goal?

So... what do you want? What is your goal?

PTG,

I'm give you the benefit of the doubt that you're sincere. This problem is entirely your creation. Your therapist is a moron. I have a great one. She would tell me, "NO! STOP! What you're doing is dumb!"

YOU are the one creating this problem.

Your self esteem is so low that you find it acceptable to be with a man who hasn't married you after 8 years and is no longer having sex with you.

You control the situation. Have some self respect. Dump both of these men. You will hurt for a while, but once you get over the grief you'll see how crazy you are to choose to stay in this situation.

Why don't you feel you deserve better? Don't you realize that your attitude should be, "I deserve better than this. I deserve a man who will love me for who I am."

Dump both of these men.

And please stop saying that your boyfriend had an affair. You're not married. You aren't committed. Someone cheats on you when you're dating, you dump them. Plain and simple.

Save yourself the pain for later.