Some of you knew me as Vows4Good in my previous life...I changed that name because as it turned out, it wasn't so "for good".
Anyone who remembers my story...my now XH went into hiding, quit his job, stuck me with all of the bills from his business (the bills were in our names but the business he put in his name so I couldn't even deduct them on my taxes), and the police found him living in our new motor home (which incidentally, I never got to use but did have to pay for) with a younger woman (16 years my junior) and driving our Jetta (which I also got stuck paying for). He never surfaced except to sign the divorce papers and collect his titles, but life moved on.
Fast forward to today. He is still with drunken OW, has sold and gone through the $ from the motorhome and the Jetta (got it shot up by a friend of his first), and the job he's had for the last 1 1/2 years? That boss is going into bankruptcy without paying him his wages. He is stuck miles from home with $20 to his name, drunken OW at home with past due rent and a cell phone about to be shut off. He called...did he think I'd bail him out? Huh? Nope...he's hers now, she's got him!
I find it interesting though that I did the right things and did nothing to get revenge...he's somehow managed to invite all that on himself just through his living and choices. Interesting. I wonder how many of us could tell the same story ending!

kay,

Natural Consequences can be awesome!!!

Over the years, I've never done anything in revenge to the x, consequences have always taken care of things for me!!!

Yeah I think that that is Karma!

Dawn

KC, it's still early in my soap opera/drama to draw the final curtain, but at the risk of sounding a bit overboard, let me describe how things have turned out for me.

It was five months ago tomorrow that WW told me she wanted out of the marriage, and a day later told me of OM. Before I found MB, she had me believing all sorts of things, from my health to my questionable sanity.

She lowered the boom on me the day I told her that if I had to pay every bill at one sitting I wouldn't have enough cash in the bank. That was the first time in nearly 15 years my finances had gotten so low.

So in short, she bailed on me when I had a health problem and my finances were in sad shape. Lovely, huh? Well, let's see what we got.

She left to go off with a married man four years her junior. He has three minor children and a wife who tolerates his infidelities (they have been separated for over two years). But look: Married Boyfriend has prostate cancer! Which means... yep, "performance problems!" And he smokes.

Fast forward: After she left I started to look after my own situation. I found a new doctor and had a complete check-up. I started to pay closer attention to my retirement savings. I renewed focus in my job (which had suffered due to my near meltdown over WW's behavior).

In short: Other than my back problem (which may be remedied by laser spine surgery, which requires only 3-5 days recovery!) I am in perfect health! No problems with cholesterol, blood pressure, sugar/glucose, PSA, etc., etc.

WW, on the other hand, has migraines, a bleeding problem from binging and using laxatives to purge herself, a rotater cuff problem -- and no health insurance.

Today I bought two new suits and two beautiful neckties. I purchased them while picking up the two sport coats I had previously purchased since her leaving. Upon returning home, I had two telephone calls on my machine for WW -- both from bill collectors.

My credit rating is currently 805. WW has NO credit rating. My retirement plan has earned nearly $23,000 over the past three months. WW has NO retirement plan. The car I drive is paid for. The car she drives she must return to me by the end of the month, because it too, IS MINE.

I have a large house (too large, but alas, I can't sell it in this market) in a nice neighborhood. I have a fireplace, two car garage, a vegetable garden (I built for WW), a rose garden (I built for WW), modern appliances and three TVs. WW has rented an apartment, which she paid six months in advance out of a small sum of money she inherited. She adopted an old, half-blind dog, and has to find a way to put up her children if and when they come to visit.

And by the way, have I mentioned that the Karma Bus hasn't even turned onto her street, yet? That's right. I could go on, but I think I've made my point: Once past the emotional pain, I have recovered from my WW's brutal dishonesty and betrayal. However, she is having to live with the consequences of her actions, and her problems are only beginning to mount.

I expect OM to throw her out. And as her problems grow, and he becomes the support system she relies on, he will be less forgiving and kind than I have been. I predict this will happen less than two months after our divorce becomes final.

And then, her Karma ticket will be ready to be punched.

I;d be careful about all these thoughts and comparison of your life to your exes. I don't think you want your happiness dependent on how bad or good your ex is doing. Better to let it go and either be happy for your ex when their happy, concerned when they're not, or be completely indifferent.

DKD, I agree with you in general, but in KC's situation, I think it's less about an ex than someone who has set out to use and destroy you. If someone had stuck me with bills, but I didn't have the business, if they took my car and my half of a new mobile home, and I had to keep paying the loans.... I'd probably get a bit of satisfaction out of seeing him reap the consequences of bad behavior. This would be the case no matter what the relationship was.

Still waiting for the karma bus to turn the XW into a speed bump.

My latest insult to losing everything I had is that I now am paying HER taxes from three years ago.

I anxiously await the day I discover she has some form of agonizing cancer or equally terminal illness so I can use her own words "sux to be you doesn't it".

I get it, I just think you're better off not letting that get to you. Ask Pariah said, it doesn't always come, and when it does, I don't think it's as satisfying as we'd like it to be. You're still you dealing with the same problems you had before karma hit your ex.

No, it will be delicious and I will savor every second.

Swim in their newfound misery and enjoy the trophy.

I feel that wishing ill on another via any means is not karma. Wishing ill on another is only vengeance, and rarely justice. If such comes to mind, I do what I can to banish the thought.

In my opinion, obviously as I'm typing this, the goal is to focus on yourself. Ensure you are building up good karma by being positive in your life and positive for others.

Karma is an ebodiment of action and thoughts. Thoughts, because they lead inveriably to action.

I stay positive in thinking, because every good turn of luck, every new friend, and every gain in my life is a reflection of my efforts.

I don't wish any ill on my divorced WW. Personally, the karma bus already hit her. She lost what would have been a better marriage, has lost me, and lost her own purity. Beyond that, I do not know nor wish to know what has transpired in her life since our divorce, as what "karma" does with her has no effect on what comes to me.

What I do wish, is that she correct herself, because I feel for the next unwitting person she puts her talons into if she hasn't.

Where do you guys get I'm wishing ill on him? KARMA...have you heard of it or read about it? I of all people am the last person to wish ill on anyone...in fact, I've forgiven him...I just don't choose to trust him or be taken by him anymore. This is, as GreenGables points out, a different matter than simply a cheating spouse. This man is a con man, he lied and conned me and manipulated me...he deliberately stole from me and got away with it because we were married. He even came back and stole possessions from me after leaving! He never lived with me. He conned me into buying things for "us" when he had no intention of there BEING an "us"...such as the motor home...and for the record, I didn't pay half, I paid ALL of the bills off because I had to. He deliberately quit his job, he deliberately went into hiding, he deliberately took money from the bank that was not there...that is fraud! So when his actions are his undoing, that is KARMA...not vengeance! To this day, he still calls from time to time...does that sound like someone who I have a bad relationship with? Why have I even bothered?...because quite frankly, I may be the only voice of God he ever encounters...the bikers, and other cons he hangs with are not likely to point him to God. I only wrote this post because I wanted others to see that you don't HAVE to do anything, KARMA has it's way of taking care of things all on its own. I really would challenge any of you to go through what I have been through and have even half the compassion I have displayed. I STILL have not thrown his box of his dad's memorabilia away (his dad is dead) in spite of the fact that he's had 1 1/2 years in which he could have come and got it at any time. I mailed his kids' pictures/letters to his mom because he hasn't supplied me an address. I did the same with his business records even though he screwed me royally...I paid for the Freightliner and bills, not him! And after all this he hasn't even bothered to file taxes. I have continued to do the RIGHT thing regardless of what he does or has done. He and his GF that he cheated on me with are still together, even though he's lied about that too. Any more, I really just don't care...I care about his eternal outcome, but that's about it...I care about him, but it'd have to be someone else being in his life, not me, as for me, I will never trust him again. You can call me a lot of things, but stupid isn't going to be one of them...he fooled me for 3 1/2 years...but that is enough. I have my faith and little else, but at least my integrity and character are intact.

I'm sorry Kaycstamper, I was not speaking directly to you, but rather was weighing in on my own position and feelings about Karma.

Regarding you specifically, I would not lose respect for anyone who has acted as properly as you have in the face of so much duplicity.

This is totally not MB related but is awesome karma story:

I got into a loud disagreement with a co-worker.

The woman on the other side of the 5-foot-tall cubicle wall at my office, has a totally annoying ringtone on her cell-phone - it sounds like a coarse screaming voice. She claims to be some sort of ordained minister/pastor.

One morning, I forgot to take my anti-depressant and my ADD medication. It is pollen time here. I had horrible headache and her phone had rang for most of 30 minutes, it seemed.

So, she is coming toward her office and our supervisor tells her she needs to do something about her telephone which has been ringing 'off the wall'. She walks by my cube and asks "My phone has been ringing."

Rubbing my forehead, I replied abruptly, "YES! It's been ringing."

So, she got all riled up. She started talking (loudly, it seemed to me) about how I was a fine one to complain because my cellphone rang more than anyone else's. So, I got up and walked to the door of her cube and said, unpleasantly, "Don't even go there." Then I returned to my seat.

She won't shut up and I take the bait. She repeats her accusations loudly and I counter that she is lying and she shouldn't even go there. This continues and she starts yelling at the supervisor telling him he needs to 'call her off' - talking about me.

I finally decide this is a loosing battle and settle down....this whole ordeal took about 2 minutes.

2 days later, I go to her and ask to pray with her for peace and reconciliation. She says she has no desire to talk to me unless it is work related and she will not pray with me about anything. Knowing about her ordination, I am shocked into speechlessness.

The next morning, she goes out - on her 15-minute break - to move the commuter van she drives each day. Well, in front of the large office building in which we work, she had a wreck. She was not at fault but she still had the upset and drama ane extra work that caused.

She has made no further efforts to make peace between us however we are not huffing at each other now. But, I know that was the karma bus that caused that wreck.

I also have someone annoying at work...he has a horrible temper and berates the rest of us. When he gets like that, he can't see reason. My boss says to focus on solution not blame. But when Greg is in an uproar, we can't "solve" anything as he doesn't have the ability to hear when he's angry. I usually tell him at those times (calmly) that I'll be glad to talk when he is calm. After a few minutes then he comes back a little less heated and I try to resolve whatever it is that he wants.

I'm not sure it's Karma that she had a wreck, sometimes things just happen...I think of Karma being more something that we brought on through our own energy/attitude/actions.

Perhaps you could both solve this problem by turning down your ring tones and keep personal calls at work to a minimum. BTW, some people are "ordained" as in the moneymaking business of marrying people and it doesn't necessarily mean they are believing Christians.

I almost never have my phone volume above low and I usually get fewer than one phone call a day. I have nothing to solve.

I changed my phone to vibrate only at work....before she did. And, my phone is in my purse in a shut drawer anyway. There is no compromise to reach. I was already minimized.

Besides, I'm not the one calling child's school daily. Working out car purchases by phone. And, with almost no family, I am not the one calling 5 family members a day.

There is no compromise to reach.

I think you missed the point.

I don't think I missed the point, but just to be son the safe side, why don't you clarify what your point was? MY point was to explore avenues of solution...perhaps you could take it to the HR Dept. then? Or if you don't have one, a supervisor? A person has to explore solutions...to do otherwise is to resign yourself to a victim's role which is not desirable.

The point was the story.

The minister woman expressed her desire to not communicate with me. She flat-out refused to pray with me.....ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!!!

She continued her display of animosity. (We work in HR. We have the same supervisor who overheard the whole ordeal.)

She had a wreck.

Karma bus literally ran into her.



It was a funny story!

THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT!

I understand...I understood that to begin with, but not everyone who is an "ordained minister" is a true minister! Some are in it for the money (performing weddings, etc.) and don't understand such a thing as a calling or answering to God for how they perform their duties, let alone even what it is to be a Christian, let alone a leader...in other words, they miss the mark!

BTW, love your signature...