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@maritalbliss & wannamoveforward - Thanks for the advice. I am starting to worry about the effect all this stress will have on my baby, not to mention my two sons. Due to my age, I will have a CVS test to make sure the baby is all right. I was so worried about the test and now I don't even think about it. Instead, this is all I think about.
We're planning a trip to my mom's for Easter and I just don't know how I'm going to get through that. I was planning to tell her about the baby then but now I just don't know. What do I say? "Hey Mom, I have good knews and bad news. Good news is I'm pregnant. Bad news is my husband is cheating on me."
Thanks so much for all your helpful advice and for listening. I don't know what I would do if I had to get through this alone.
Me BW 40
Him WH 39
Married 10 years, together 19
Sons 5,9
I am 7 weeks pregnant
DDay March 20, 2010
Trying to get enough evidence to confront him so we can deal with it and move on (one way or another) Tell your mom what is going on. She may be in a position to help you, at least with emotional support.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Could your parents help you afford a PI?
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Could your parents help you afford a PI? Can you talk to your parents without this blowing up and your H finding out?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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My mom is divorced and recently laid off so she can't provide financial help. Although she would let me and my kids move in with her at any point so that is a comfort.
As far as telling her, I'm afraid she would act different around him and might clue him into the fact that I'm on to him. I'm just so sad since I was going to tell her about the baby and then maybe do some maternity shopping. Now I think it might be best if I just keep quiet.
It's tearing me up inside that this is keeping me from being excited about my baby.
Last edited by anne505; 03/23/10 01:48 PM.
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Hi Anne,
I think I read that your husband is an attorney and that OW is a potential client? If that is true (meaning he's not lying to you about her potential as a client) then you've got a golden opportunity for exposure once you get your definitive proof.
If he works in a firm (and he's not a solo) I'm sure the partners or his supervising attorney would not appreciate his trying to or bedding a potential client. That would create a HUGE conflict of interest in their representation of the client. It's also a big no no in law firms.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Hi princessmeggy,
Yes, WH is a lawyer and I have confirmed via some emails that he is trying to get business from OW. He works in a very small firm and they are submitting a proposal for this business very soon. One problem with his firm is that I suspect his boss is a cheater and wouldn't care about the relationship as long as they get the business. I don't know that for sure, it's just my gut telling me that.
Saturday nigth (the night after his outing with OW and scumbag friends) he was telling me how great it would be to get this business and how it would be so good for us financially because we could move to a bigger house, have better schools for the boys, etc. It's so weird because he was talking all about our future but now I'm starting to get concerned that he might have plans for OW to come in and take my place. She does not have kids and is not married.
Me BW 40
Him WH 39
Married 10 years, together 19
Sons 5,9
I am 7 weeks pregnant
DDay March 20, 2010
Trying to get enough evidence to confront him so we can deal with it and move on (one way or another)
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One problem with his firm is that I suspect his boss is a cheater and wouldn't care about the relationship as long as they get the business. Why do you suspect that his boss is a cheater? Why do you suspect he wouldn't care about the relationship?
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Why do you suspect that his boss is a cheater?
Why do you suspect he wouldn't care about the relationship?
I seem to remember WH telling me about some rumors floating around the office about boss and some employees. It's a small firm so business is really important. I think he would rather have the business than worry about anything else. I'm guessin though so who knows?
I'm having trouble figuring out how to quote previous posts. Bear with me while I figure this out. Thanks!
Last edited by anne505; 03/23/10 02:18 PM.
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Did you say OW is on Facebook? If so, go to her page now before you're blocked and get a copy of all her FB friends' names. Store it somewhere safe and delete your browser history. This will be VERY useful in the not so distant future.
You are doing amazingly well. If you just can't put on a happy face and act "normally" around your WH, tell him you're tired because of the pregnancy or your hormones have you in a tailspin. He'll never question it.
You do need to work hard on a Plan A.
What are his top ENs? How well are you meeting them?
What about LBs, do you have them under control?
It's very hard to suck it up and do Plan A while your spouse is wayward but the thing is you have to show them that marriage with you is more attractive than that nasty old skank they're obsessing over. Every LB you commit, he will tell himself how rotten you are and how great OW is. Every EN that you aren't filling is a missed opportunity for you to make deposits in his love bank, when you know she's making deposits. So read up on Plan A if you haven't already, and put on your game face.
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Boy, I hate to bring this up...
....but talk to your OB about STDs.
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Saturday nigth (the night after his outing with OW and scumbag friends) he was telling me how great it would be to get this business and how it would be so good for us financially because we could move to a bigger house, have better schools for the boys, etc. It's so weird because he was talking all about our future but now I'm starting to get concerned that he might have plans for OW to come in and take my place. She does not have kids and is not married. I wonder if she knows he is married? Pretty common.
Last edited by chrisner; 03/23/10 04:18 PM. Reason: Wow! We have snow, thunder and lightning in Denver. High prediction is for 16" tonight.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Did you say OW is on Facebook? If so, go to her page now before you're blocked and get a copy of all her FB friends' names. Store it somewhere safe and delete your browser history. This will be VERY useful in the not so distant future.
You are doing amazingly well. If you just can't put on a happy face and act "normally" around your WH, tell him you're tired because of the pregnancy or your hormones have you in a tailspin. He'll never question it.
You do need to work hard on a Plan A.
What are his top ENs? How well are you meeting them?
What about LBs, do you have them under control?
It's very hard to suck it up and do Plan A while your spouse is wayward but the thing is you have to show them that marriage with you is more attractive than that nasty old skank they're obsessing over. Every LB you commit, he will tell himself how rotten you are and how great OW is. Every EN that you aren't filling is a missed opportunity for you to make deposits in his love bank, when you know she's making deposits. So read up on Plan A if you haven't already, and put on your game face. Wow, thanks for the tip on Facebook friends. I never would have thought of that. Thanks for the kind words. I'm still trying to get evidence and then I can proceed. As for EN's, I have no idea. Until just a few days ago, I thought everything was fine and we were doing really well. How do you figure out your WH's ENs? Sorry if this is listed somewhere. I'm still trying to figure it all out. Where can I find the info on LB?
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Boy, I hate to bring this up...
....but talk to your OB about STDs. Yes, I already thought of this. It makes me sick but I did think of it. I will have to talk to OB about it.
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Chrisner - she does know he's married. In fact, he had me add her to our Christmas card list just this year. The fact that I sent a picture of my adorable kids to her makes me sick.
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Here is a telling quote from today's emails. This was sent to him by his scummy friend who is a huge cheater:
THE TRUTRH IS WE HAVE A LOT OF THINGS ON EACH OTHER, ALL OF US. I HOPE WE CAN CONTAIN IT FROM GETTING TO OUR WIVES.
WH did not reply. One of the emails was from WH telling his friend to call him. Wish I could have hear that conversation.
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Wow, that's a keeper for evidence.
Does he have a blackberry or other smartphone? You can install flexispy and hear the convo's.
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Here is a telling quote from today's emails. This was sent to him by his scummy friend who is a huge cheater:
THE TRUTRH IS WE HAVE A LOT OF THINGS ON EACH OTHER, ALL OF US. I HOPE WE CAN CONTAIN IT FROM GETTING TO OUR WIVES.
WH did not reply. One of the emails was from WH telling his friend to call him. Wish I could have hear that conversation. Are you printing these off and/or saving them, anne? This is VERY valuable info.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Anne..another thought. Are you erasing your tracks on the home computer? Deleting browsing history so he doesn't know you've been here, doesn't know you're looking for VARs and doesn't know you're into his email?
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Chrisner - she does know he's married. In fact, he had me add her to our Christmas card list just this year. The fact that I sent a picture of my adorable kids to her makes me sick. Well, I guess I can officially call her ButterBall now. What do you know about your WH's sleazy friend's betrayed wife? Something is clearly not right with your WH and Sleazoid. Keep you browser clean. THE TRUTRH IS WE HAVE A LOT OF THINGS ON EACH OTHER, ALL OF US. I HOPE WE CAN CONTAIN IT FROM GETTING TO OUR WIVES. I think we are getting close to something big soon.
Last edited by chrisner; 03/23/10 05:02 PM.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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just be careful. In my attempt to make sure I deleted my browser history I accidentally erased WH's entire profile. He was MAD because he thought I did it on purpose to erase him from my life. Funny thing is that his profile is still on the computer now but only because he did something to the computer so the kids can only play a certain game on his profile.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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