|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
WxH just sent me an email saying that he is thinking about going on vacation with OW and her child6. He asked if he could take our son if they got a 2 bedroom condo and he (xh) sleeps with our son.
What would you all do? Our divorce agreement states no overnights when someone of the opposite sex is present.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965 |
What would you all do? Our divorce agreement states no overnights when someone of the opposite sex is present. Well, there you go. The answer is no.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,803
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,803 |
I would say absolutely no. If your divorce agreement says that you don't have to allow overnights when someone of the opposite sex is present, then you are completely within your rights to refuse this request.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965 |
A member of the opposite sex in the same condo is "present".
The answer is NO.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
He asked if he could take our son if they got a 2 bedroom condo and he (xh) sleeps with our son.  Uh-huh. Oh, sure. A pure, chaste little vacation. NOT. Follow your agreement.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
What would you all do? Our divorce agreement states no overnights when someone of the opposite sex is present. , GET YOUR OBJECTION IN WRITING.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965 |
ooooh, bravo, Pep!!
Yes, an attorney letter.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
wow now i'm jealous... my state wouldn't grant that unless the other person was "unfit"
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
wow now i'm jealous... my state wouldn't grant that unless the other person was "unfit" We agreed to custody/visitation terms. Judge signed off on it. I don't think I would have 'won' that in a court battle.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
We agreed to custody/visitation terms. Judge signed off on it.
Idjuts~![[Linked Image from millan.net]](http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/groooansmileyf.gif)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
We agreed to custody/visitation terms. Judge signed off on it. [font:Comic Sans MS]Sometimes, wayturds are in such a big hurry to "move on" they will sign just about anything to expedite the divorce. Yes and in this case giving me what I wanted as regards custody and visitation kept his OW(s) from being subpoened. Glad to hear you all agree with me....I have no intention of letting him go. Just wanted to see if I am being reasonable. Question though...why do I need a lawyer letter over this? I intend to reply via email and calmly reference our divorce agreement on this issue. Won't that be enough?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Glad to hear you all agree with me....I have no intention of letting him go. Just wanted to see if I am being reasonable.
Question though...why do I need a lawyer letter over this? I intend to reply via email and calmly reference our divorce agreement on this issue. Won't that be enough?  idjut (never put it past them to be as dumb as rocks) ... he might decide to do it anyway, irregardless of your written objection.
If you have a "lawyer letter" he's a lot less likely to violate the agreement, IMO.
But, it's up to you and your best judgment.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
Question though...why do I need a lawyer letter over this? I intend to reply via email and calmly reference our divorce agreement on this issue. Won't that be enough? In writing makes it harder for him to say "I forgot." Having your lawyer do it is keeping it "legal-like".
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
WxH just sent me an email saying that he is thinking about going on vacation with OW and her child6. He asked if he could take our son if they got a 2 bedroom condo and he (xh) sleeps with our son.
What would you all do? Our divorce agreement states no overnights when someone of the opposite sex is present.
He is likely to try and weasel his way around it.
Watch XWH like a hawk.
Does your son know he can call you if he is ever placed in an "overnight" situation with OW present?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
WxH just sent me an email saying that he is thinking about going on vacation with OW and her child6. He asked if he could take our son if they got a 2 bedroom condo and he (xh) sleeps with our son.
What would you all do? Our divorce agreement states no overnights when someone of the opposite sex is present.
He is likely to try and weasel his way around it.
Watch XWH like a hawk.
Does your son know he can call you if he is ever placed in an "overnight" situation with OW present?
Yes he does know he can call me. Trouble is ds10 LIKES her and her son. Gag. Hard to be the grown up sometimes.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
I agree with Pep. Getting it a LEGAL letter makes it seem more SCARY. XH may decide to do it anyways but at least you have your ducks in a row.
DS liking POSOW, THAT KILLS. I get, "POSOW is Fun, Mommy." ARGHHHHHHHH
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455 |
Absolutely not but also make sure that XWH does not manipulate your son and say that he wanted to take him but the evil Mom would not let him go and have fun.
If he wants to commit to his son then he needs to take him on a vacation one on one not to cater to the whims of the OW.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,549
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,549 |
SW, so sorry for your pain.
I'd suggest you:
1. Not get on this slippery slope--if one overnight is OK, then why not every time?
2. Not set a precedent that the judge's order is "flexible."
Make it clear to DS that this is NOT your decision, it's the judge's. You don't violate what the judge said and neither should XH. The order was placed there because the judge thought it was in his best interest. Period.
You're not spoiling his fun, you're obeying the law.
Then go take him somewhere that week when XH is out on vacation with his new family.
Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS
Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780 |
Ok, can someone help me word my answer?
You guys always think of the best way to put things.
I have typed out. 'No. That will not be possible due to the terms you agreed to in our divorce.'
Ideas?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455 |
XH, As you agreed in our D, and what is best for our son is no overnights with any member of the opposite sex.
If you would like to spend time with your son maybe you can do a father-son weekend that you can devote to him.
Please enjoy your vacation. Just think now you don't have to pay for 2 rooms. <evil smile>
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
1,024
guests, and
59
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
