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@maritalbliss - wow, thanks so much! You have helped me a great deal and I truly appreciate it. No computer today. I checked in the car and it's not there so that will have to wait. Since it's his work laptop, I will have to download separate keylogger software. I'll have to wait for another opportunity.
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Thanks Scottland. I have my plan and I am putting it into place. Thanks to al the wonderful people on this board who have been so kind and willing to help.
My answer to the question about how long was based on my estimation of how long I think it will take me to get proof to expose. For me, that is not likely to happen in two days. This is based on many factors that are out of my control. Despite what's going on, I really don't think he sees or talks to OW very often but his chat about starting at the gym made me wonder if he was planning to pick up the pace. Regardless, I'd rather get what I need and feel confident about it than rush it.
Last edited by anne505; 03/25/10 04:58 PM.
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Anne,
I really applaud your patience. I don't think I could wait it out. Trust me, though, waiting until you have proof is the right way to go. There is nothing a wayward will not lie about. Keep coming here for support if you need it.
Me BH 40
Her XWW 34
Married 12 years
Feb 09 - PA #1 (w/married alcoholic)
Apr 09 - Started recovery, thought things were going well until...
Jan 10 - PA #2 (w/different guy on Facebook)
Dec 10 - Divorced
Now - very happy; no regrets
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Anne,
I really applaud your patience. I don't think I could wait it out. Trust me, though, waiting until you have proof is the right way to go. There is nothing a wayward will not lie about. Keep coming here for support if you need it. Thank you. The support I get here is keeping me going.
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Anne,
I am so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. I applaud your patience and restraint. I calmly and cooly waited and watched my WH for almost two weeks before I confronted him and I confronted with no LBs and few tears.
I monitored his cell phone, read all of his text conversations with OW, listened to his voice mails and searched his car nightly while he slept.I was up all night anyhow. (-: I was able during that time to watch his moods and reactions and begin my Plan A. It was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. My prayers are with you.
God's Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
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Thank you Say. It is difficult and I'm sorry you had to go through this too. I don't wish this horrible feeling on anyone (except WH & OW - they deserve to feel this kind of pain). The time is helping me to remain calm and rational. I have my plan and I am working on it at a pace which makes me feel comfortable and in control. Your support and kind words mean so much. Thank you again.
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I have a question for those who have used keyloggers. Did you set up a separate email for the reports to be sent to?
Also, any ideas how to find secret bank accounts? I think he might have one I don't know about.
Thanks.
Last edited by anne505; 03/29/10 07:07 AM.
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I got my VAR! I'm going to figure out how to use, find a good spot in his car and see what happens. No luck on keylogger software. Haven't had the opportunity...yet.
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 attagirl...
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I got my VAR! I'm going to figure out how to use, find a good spot in his car and see what happens. No luck on keylogger software. Haven't had the opportunity...yet. Very good! Consider trying it in your own car to figure out the best place for reception.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I think I even figured it out already! I'm not exactly tech savvy and find these things intimidating. Right now, I'm feeling a bit empowered and like I have at least some control. That has to be a step in the right direction!
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 Good job getting the VAR. As far as the keylogger, I am not a good person to tell you about that. When I installed the keylogger on our computer, my WH found it after 2 hours and deleted it. I got what I needed in that time(and I am somewhat relieved that I didn't have more to read, what I did get KILLED me). When you do listen to the VAR or read anything that you find, please don't confront right away. I know you managed holding it in with the emails, but the things you read/hear may be VERY hurtful. Come on here and vent. Get it all out so you can continue the Plan A. We will help you develop a plan. Good Job.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Thanks Scotland. All the advice and kind words really mean so much. I will come here and vent about whatever I hear/read so I can remain calm and focused so I can continue to work on Plan A.
Wow, you got what you needed in two hours?!?
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Now to find the best location for it in his car...
OW's birthday is tomorrow. I really hope I can get the VAR in there and running so I can hear what goes on tomorrow. I've been checking her status on Facebook every day. She really doesn't seem to have much of a life. She's one of those people who spends LOTS of time on Farmville, Cafe World, etc. (not to offend anyone who plays around on those but she really does spend a lot of time doing those Fackbook games). She sounds very whiney too.
Last edited by anne505; 03/29/10 10:27 AM.
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Thanks Scotland. All the advice and kind words really mean so much. I will come here and vent about whatever I hear/read so I can remain calm and focused so I can continue to work on Plan A.
Wow, you got what you needed in two hours?!? Well, I don't know how long it actually took until he said, "That's why I want to do other things with you so it's not just about sex." That was KILLER. He also said, "You looked cute today babe, thanx. Oh come on, you look cute everyday. I love you. What? You want me to want it MORE. How could I want it more I am already like a horny teenager but that's okay my Babe is a horny teenager too." Just retelling this is making my stomach turn. I haven't looked at the actually things that were emailed to me for about 4 months. It will always be burned into my brain. That's why I am warning you about it. You will be hurt by what you read and hear. I just want you to be prepared.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Well, I don't know how long it actually took until he said, "That's why I want to do other things with you so it's not just about sex." That was KILLER. He also said, "You looked cute today babe, thanx. Oh come on, you look cute everyday. I love you. What? You want me to want it MORE. How could I want it more I am already like a horny teenager but that's okay my Babe is a horny teenager too."  I was just getting ready to eat lunch. I didn't need all those calories, anyway.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Sorry MB. I already ate lunch.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Sorry MB. I already ate lunch. Chocolate-covered ants and a Diet Dr. Pepper, perhaps? 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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On pasta of course HAHAHAHA
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Anne, be sure to use an email WH has no access to when you get the keylogger. You will receive the occasional keylogger offer via email.
Also, be sure to turn the commputer off a couple of times, to be sure your security program doesn't pick it up. Mine detected it the first time I turned the computer off, so there is where you will put in the rule to ignore it, if you aren't prompted to do so earlier. spector) Good luck, you can do this GF
Marriages don't fail, people do.
(And I don't recall who said it)
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