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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 561
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WS sleeps with someone else.
WS leaves a wake of destruction.
WS says crazy things.
WS acts selfish beyond belief.
WS completely disregards future of kids and marriage.
BS tries to save marriage.
BS can't imagine harming the kids with D.
BS gets no SF for months.
BS takes WS out to dinner, shows, etc.
BS acts super cheerful and fun to be around.
BS does more work around the house.
Being a BS is B.S.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
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Not annoying nor B.S.
It is
empowering.
Empowering cause it is being a better person by not getting into the cruel clutches of the Ego (or Taker if you will).
The Ego/Taker wants us to have what we want RIGHT now and it never ever serves us well in the end.
So plan A is about circumventing that mistaken idea and being a more in control person.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
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HERE HERE Reading. I did like the feelings I got while in Plan A about myself. It did suck sometimes though. I am glad that I didn't do it too long because I can see how it would be emotionally draining FOR SURE.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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TE, what is your situation? I see your D-day was 8-9 months ago. Are you into recovery yet? If not, then you are ripe for Plan B.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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Is this all carrot and no stick? You are not obligated to Plan A and don't want to go to Plan Doormat either. Plan D is probably annoying and difficult too.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 561
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I'm just venting that's all.
I like the new me better. In great shape because I lost like 20 lbs. Working out like crazy. Eating better. Taking better care of the kids. All kinds of positive stuff.
But even though I'm being fun and pleasant... I'm still absolutely furious. I feel like smashing lamps and punching holes in walls and running into OM in a dark alley.
And as far as Plan B goes, I can't afford another place. I already pay a huge mortgage by myself and we have no family withing hundreds of miles. Any ideas?
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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I'm just venting that's all.
I like the new me better. In great shape because I lost like 20 lbs. Working out like crazy. Eating better. Taking better care of the kids. All kinds of positive stuff.
But even though I'm being fun and pleasant... I'm still absolutely furious. I feel like smashing lamps and punching holes in walls and running into OM in a dark alley.
And as far as Plan B goes, I can't afford another place. I already pay a huge mortgage by myself and we have no family withing hundreds of miles. Any ideas? You and the kids shouldn't leave - you WS needs to go. And pay her own way. It's not healthy for any of you to be in Plan A this long.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 561
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Posts: 561 |
Maritalbliss,
I have not been in Plan A that long. For the first few months after D-day, I wasn't in any plan. I was just kind of in chaos. I've been in Plan A since about the New Year.
And NC started shortly after exposure with broken NC around end of Feb. I am just really getting a better understanding of Plan A and seem to be making a bit of progress. Maybe.
And there's no way WW will leave the house without the kids. So to go to Plan B would be me leaving.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
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No, you never leave your home. NEVER. This will get you "charged" with abandonment and no chance of custody.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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