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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 24
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 24 |
Well I have just filed for divorce. After talking to 16 year old daughter about living arrangements, she seemed happy with a week about arrangement. Apparently she now says she was thinking aloud. Her dad is all for her choosing where she lives. He is emotionally and verbally abusive and very manipulative and I am worried she will choose to live with him and I will hardly see her. Her adult siblings are not in contact with me because they think I am the bad guy. If we continue through the courts is it going to worsen my relationship with her or in the long run will things pan out. Any opinions?
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531
Member
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Member
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531 |
I'm sure it varies where you live, but at 16, I doubt the courts would rule against her decision unless one parent is deemed unfit or unsafe for the child. Around here, the courts will begin to consider the child's point of view as young as 9, though somewhere around 11 or 12, the child gets to live where he or she wants.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
I would let her know that the choice is hers and will be honored as long as she keeps her grades up and is doing well. Be sure to have that understood with your husband too.
Teens will often pick the wrong parent, but there is little you can do about it. When my son turned 18, he announced that he was going to go live with his dad - the dad who walked out on us when son was 5, never kept in contact, never paid child-support. I was extremely distraught, but everyone told me to let him go calmly.
Living with dad lasted 5 months, and then son called me begging me to buy him an airline ticket home. And when he came home, he was a completely different kid. He APPRECIATED living with me, pitched in and helped more, and was very happy. He also let me know that he knew EXACTLY how hard dad was to live with.
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