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So Mark...did you post this three times in a row to really OVER-hammer the importance of this message home to Can't? How condescending/patronizing.
I also find this spokesman's mimicking/mocking of women a bit distasteful. He must really not like women much. Can we all agree he's a Misogynist?
Mr. Wondering <---If you haven't watched the [first] video you won't get my sarcasm I have to admit that when I watched the first video, I got the impression that the person in the video doesn't like women. He mocked women and he was extremely condescending.
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Ugh...This man's mysogyny really shines through here. He continues with the mocking female voice he used in the first clip too. People (male and female) compare themselves to other people all the time, and it can get them into trouble or even a WAR ...or it can serve a positive source for change.
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Ha! I must be the man and my H is the chick.  That's what I was thinking... This person is using broad generalizations which my H and I seem to defy. He started out by saying mens brains are very unique. His description of women's brains contained no such qualifier. Also, he describes "female" tendencies as being problematic / silly / dysfunctional in contrast to "male" tendencies." The people in the audience are laughing, but I wasnot because it the thought popped into my mind that this person is most likely a closeted homosexual.
Last edited by ChrisInNOVA; 03/26/10 07:43 AM.
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Again...MB is about making better/great husbands and wives...not sisters/girlfriends. Agreed. I don't disagree with you but it seem like women have to work harder lol. And the balance comes into play by appreciating the differences without analyzing everything little thing the H says and does...BUT...it goes both ways. The wife asks to comes in or knocks and he views it as nagging.  W goes off feeling neglected and burned out from trying = no/little sex = H getting made about no/little = wife thinking all he wants her for is sex = H thinks she only wants a paycheck = Possible affairs from either. A depressing thought so early in the morning.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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it the thought popped into my mind that this person is most likely a closeted homosexual. Really? That never crossed my mind at all. He is going to have to speak in terms of the general population though and I don't have issue with that. If someone is familiar with his work/concepts maybe the picture is more clear but to a first time viewer I wasn't sure where he was going and some of it seemed to conflict with other things he said.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Yes, it popped into my mind because I have seen the behavior a few times before. It's brought on by bitterness at being forced to live a huge lie.
Last edited by ChrisInNOVA; 03/26/10 07:53 AM.
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Chris,
I so hope you are attempting to employ the same technique as Gungor in his videos because if you are not, the direction you are headed is really scary...
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Didn't particularly like the videos, even though the concepts weren't new and I've seen them in other circumstances that annoyed me less.
Specifically:
- He did the 'man-voice' in a relatively normal voice, but did the 'woman-voice' in this high-pitched, whiny SCREECH. Not exactly neutral. I listen to a lot of podcasts where men and women do both sexes convincingly and compassionately, and this wasn't one. Uneven distribution of ridicule. Not every woman talks like your stereotypical overbearing mother-in-law. Not even real overbearing mothers-in-law. :p
- I'm not sure of the context of these vids, but he wasn't explaining both brains, he was saying how men shouldn't have to be bothered by women's needs. The nothing box is a normal, healthy, if odd-looking, habit, but the need for connection is not given the same treatment.
- The man commands the woman to GO AWAY (with the subtext of 'if you want my LB$ to stay in the black) but the woman never commands the man to COME HERE AND CONNECT (with the same subtext). So it seems the woman must change her instincts to keep her man happy, but the man faces no such task.
Besides, the whole thing seems to be pro-IB - men and women don't have anything to say to each other and men actually rather women DON'T interfere with their recreational activities. Compatibility is not going to happen anyway, because I as a man don't want anyone near me and you as a woman are unrelatable-to, so why bother?
Of course it's meant to be FUNNY (which always includes some aspects of mockery) and speeches meant to enhance compatibility and respect are rarely FUNNY. Your observations here were 100% on target. You mentioned the uneven distribution of ridicule & lack of comapassion, and one other thing which seems to be a recurring theme in these videos: women must change aroud men...understand them...and adjust to them - while there is no call for men to do the same (at least there isn't in anything I have watced so far). I will also add that so-called "male" tendencies seem to be presented as normal and so-called "female" tendencies are ....just NOT, plus they are annoying. In the first video this person says wemon should resist the urge to "judge." My answer to him is this: "Physician, heal thyself."
Last edited by ChrisInNOVA; 03/26/10 07:52 AM.
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Chris,
I so hope you are attempting to employ the same technique as Gungor in is videos because if you are not, the direction you are headed is really scary... Mark, Please explain what you mean by this.
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at being forced to live a huge lie. at choosing to live a huge lie.  I don't see that in him. I just see a guy who is trying to understand women...from his box. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Man i agree with the women here, talk about women bashing!!!!
I personally got nothing out of the vidoes other than anger!!!
It may be an LB to ask a man's feeling, but it is also an LB to tell a women to stuff her feelings.
My goodness those videos were bad!!!
Last edited by Still_Crazy; 03/26/10 08:02 AM.
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There are a few people who I had the opportunity to witness as acting very mysogynistic and also very anti homosexual...(one even helped craft legislation which was anti homosexual!) They also behaved overtly "traditional" (men on top, women & children on the bottom) and ascribed to some of the more stereotypical views of how men think versus how women think...It turned out that they were repressing their feelings of homosexuality.
Sorry but - this person reminded me (almost immediately) of the two people I witnessed. The mind is not a voluntary muscle.
Last edited by ChrisInNOVA; 03/26/10 08:01 AM.
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Chris,
I'm going to let you think about it before I talk about it because I have other things I have to do this morning.
But let me address this notion that he is saying men are normal and women are defective. NOT!!! I didn't see it that way. I don't know ANYONE who has ever seen the video that took it that way until now (hundreds of people that I know of for certain since I was with hundreds watching it together)...
His purpose was to inform women that men are different than women. It was a straight up comparison as well because he also addressed part of the process for men in understanding why their wives want to talk about things.
AND it was intended to be a funny way of addressing the differences by exaggerating those differences. Ever see a drunk? Ever see someone playing a drunk? Ever laugh at someone playing a drunk?
I just have NO idea how anything on this video leads to the conclusion that he hates women (he tries to help couples build better marriages in much the same way Dr Harley does) or that because he used a funny voice (he did that for men too, BTW) to imitate women he must be a closeted homosexual.
I just don't get that line of logic at all...
I think I need to go to my "nothing box" to think about what I want to say, because right now, I must have missed some data someplace...
Mark
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But you see you are making your own generalizations too. Anyway, what was the original question? Default to the "do nothing" if spouses can't come to agreement using POJA...what is your H doing?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I thought they were very women bashing and telling women they should change but the husband shouldn't.
And i did feel like he thought women were defective or stupid or something for even suggesting such a thing as asking their husbands feelings on something.
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Chris,
What exactly did you find him saying that you feel showed hatred of women?
Or doing?
Move it to another thread if you would like, because I would really like to know how humor that other women I know think is pretty darned funny (though it was intended to make both men and women uncomfortable by exaggerating differences to reinforce a point)If you want, we can analyze line by line of all three that I posted.
You might also want to go look at his website to see who he is and what he does.
Mark
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Chris,
I so hope you are attempting to employ the same technique as Gungor in his videos because if you are not, the direction you are headed is really scary... Like what bowing down for him and walking ten paces behind 
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I think I need to go to my "nothing box" to think about what I want to say, because right now, I must have missed some data someplace. KNOCK KNOCK!!!! Open the door man...open the door!!  
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Chris,
I'm going to let you think about it before I talk about it because I have other things I have to do this morning. Wow Mark...that was a tad condescending... I have other things to do as well. I am in between taskings at work & I have already spent all the time I intend to on "thinking" about this man and his opinions. But let me address this notion that he is saying men are normal and women are defective. NOT!!! I didn't see it that way. Of course you didn't. You're not one of the defective people. I don't know ANYONE who has ever seen the video that took it that way until now (hundreds of people that I know of for certain since I was with hundreds watching it together)...
His purpose was to inform women that men are different than women. It was a straight up comparison as well because he also addressed part of the process for men in understanding why their wives want to talk about things.
AND it was intended to be a funny way of addressing the differences by exaggerating those differences. Ever see a drunk? Ever see someone playing a drunk? Ever laugh at someone playing a drunk?
I just have NO idea how anything on this video leads to the conclusion that he hates women (he tries to help couples build better marriages in much the same way Dr Harley does) or that because he used a funny voice (he did that for men too, BTW) to imitate women he must be a closeted homosexual.
I just don't get that line of logic at all...
I think I need to go to my "nothing box" to think about what I want to say, because right now, I must have missed some data someplace...
Mark Mark, you know a minimum of 2 people who watched the vidoes and thought "Wow - this guy must not like women very much." Me and Mr. Wondering. There are also others here who did not respond positively to the videos too. (Not that this gives my opinion any more or less weight. In fact, isn't it a fallacy of logic to respond to someone telling you they're offended by something with a "No one else minds. No one else was offended." statement ?? What's the word for doing that? Anyone know?) Anyway MArk - you know at least 2 people who viewed the videos and though "eew"...In fact, Mr. Wondering was the first person in this thread to say it and he even asked - Can we all agree that this man is a mysogynist? Is there a reason you didn't challenge Mr Wondering's POV? I have a nothing box too - despite my lack of external genitalia...and I may place these videos in there so they disappear. I realize that you were trying to help and you usally have really great insights which I enjoy taking in. Unfortunately, this wasn't one of those times. The videos did not help me. They created a measure of yuckiness that I could have done without this morning. I'm sorry I watched them. And that's the truth.
Last edited by ChrisInNOVA; 03/26/10 08:35 AM.
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Chris,
What exactly did you find him saying that you feel showed hatred of women?
Or doing?
Move it to another thread if you would like, because I would really like to know how humor that other women I know think is pretty darned funny (though it was intended to make both men and women uncomfortable by exaggerating differences to reinforce a point)If you want, we can analyze line by line of all three that I posted.
You might also want to go look at his website to see who he is and what he does.
Mark Maybe Mr Wondering can explain it to you since he, like you, is a male. Mr Wondering was the first person to present the idea that the man in the video must not like women very much and he also asked if we can all agree that homeboy is a mysogynist. The benefit of Mr. Wondering explaining it to you is that his opinions will be seen as logical since he is male whereas mine may be viewed as emotional female whining.  By the way - re/ the women in the video laughing: Stockholm Syndrome is real. ETA: I am in no way, shape, or form going to that man's website to see what he does. I have seen enough.
Last edited by ChrisInNOVA; 03/26/10 08:32 AM.
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