Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 76 of 199 1 2 74 75 76 77 78 198 199
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
I love the creative ideas to attach. They are brilliant.

Scotland, aren't you still recovering from the last olive branch?

(just curious)







Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
I am over recovering from the last Operation:Olive branch. I found my strength again. What it was was the timing thing. My friend brought it up yesterday and I was thinking about it. If I am going to do another one, I will need to be ready for it. It was only 1 month and 5 days ago. I just want to prepare myself.

I don't think it was just the Olive Branch. I found myself thinking about WH too much again. That was bugging me. I also think it was a part of the grieving process again. I did feel down but lately I have been feeling pretty good. I just like to be prepared.

I could go with doing it at the beginning of MAY instead. That way I have 5 more weeks instead of 1. I just wanted to make sure I had a plan.

I am rambling. Okay, this is why I brought it up today. I didn't realize, until my friend brought it up, that many of our special dates happen about 8 weeks from eachother. Since I have to do it on a day when WH comes to get the boys, there is an even amount of weeks to that.

I started Plan B on Dec18. 8 weeks later was our dating anniversary. Then 8 weeks after that is WH's bday. 8 weeks after that is DS9 bday. My friend asked me if I was trying to do these things on important dates. I didn't think that would be a good idea. I was only asking which dates I should think about doing it. I know I will do it again. Just want to be prepared.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
May is probably better. smile


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
That's what I was thinking too. Whew, no more thinking about this for a few weeks.

Loved what you wrote Neak.

Getting on with life.

It did rain today and is COLD. DS9 has a sleep over tomorrow night so DS7 is having a sleepover in my room(with all of his cabbage patch kids and stuffed animals and his pillow he calls, "Baby".) I am going to take them to see "how to train a dragon." on saturday afternoon. Fun times ahead. WOOOHOOOO


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Oh I forgot to mention. DS7 has had a MARVELOUS time at school this week(I hope I don't jinx it now since we have one more day for this week). I talked to his teacher this morning and she said that she has implemented some of my suggestions and he is doing GREAT. He is less frustrated with homework. It is great to hear.

DS9 was just on the phone with WH. WH asked to speak to DS7, who still refuses(has talked to him on the phone about 5 times in 3 months). DS9 said, "DS7, were you good at school?" DS7 said, "NOPE. I WAS BAD." Well, that wasn't true and I had to hide a laugh. Then DS9 got mad at WH and actually raised his voice when talking to him. He said, "I can't hear you. Talk LOUDER." Then DS9 mentioned that he was bored because he couldn't play his DS while talking to WH so WH told him he would let him get back to his game and they hung up. Heartbreaking. Consequences suck.

The new job hunt and puppy hunt are still on. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
Hi Scotland-

I loved reading this
Quote
and his pillow he calls, "Baby"
because my OS (now 21) had a small pillow he called "Snugglebug". He still has it...although it's more of a lumbar support now.

Such great memories! laugh


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,116
Puppy hunt? I may be breaking down and getting DD a puppy, too. Just a big commitment. We already have one dog -- who's really just like another kid.

Puppies bring smiles. And giggles. And distractions. I can understand why we do it.

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,722
_
Member
Offline
Member
_
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,722
Good luck with both of your hunts. Dogs are such a great source of unconditional love. I know mine has been there for me through this whole ordeal.

Last edited by SickofLimbo; 03/25/10 11:32 PM.

-SOL
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Puppies are a great commitment and when we had to put our dog to sleep 2 years ago, we talked about getting another dog. We wanted to give ourselves enough time to grieve. DSx2 and I wanted to get a puppy, WH wanted a dog that was about 6mos-1year old. He didn't want to house break it. I know why the boys want a puppy though, they have never experienced that. I want a puppy so I can train it from the beginning. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of adopting dogs from a shelter(my mom has done it twice and a friend is a foster parent for dogs). When our wonderful dog had her only litter of puppies(15), DS9 was 1.5. He doesn't really remember them. I just figure since the one obstacle for us getting a PUPPY was WH and he isn't here, then we would just go for it. I wanted to get passed the winter first so it would be easier to house break the puppy and get it used to walking outside. laugh

Last edited by Scotland; 03/26/10 05:32 AM.

BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Let's see if this works.
LINK to dogs

(OK to open at work ... nothing inappropriate)

... some kitties too .... for variety



Last edited by Pepperband; 03/26/10 10:15 AM.
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
Well, when you adopt an older dog that has already been housebroken, you often have to housebreak the dog again. Not sure why, except that it has to do with disruption of the dog's living conditions/routines.

I think it's MUCH better to adopt a puppy because the puppy can be taught desirable behaviors from the beginning and it won't have undesirable behaviors to unlearn.

I got my best and favorite dog when he was only 5 weeks old, and he was a true joy and my best friend who loved me no matter what. I had him for over 13 years, and it broke my heart to have to put him to sleep when cancer made him so sick.


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
LS- I AGREE that is why I want to get a puppy. I too got my dog at 5 weeks old. She was 11 when we had to put her to sleep because she had throat cancer and could no longer swallow. This was May/08. We are definitely READY for a new friend in our life. It is nice not having to confer with someone else on this, I get to make BIG GIRL decisions all on my own. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by Scotland
LS- I AGREE that is why I want to get a puppy. I too got my dog at 5 weeks old. She was 11 when we had to put her to sleep because she had throat cancer and could no longer swallow. This was May/08. We are definitely READY for a new friend in our life. It is nice not having to confer with someone else on this, I get to make BIG GIRL decisions all on my own. laugh

Lol bigirl..

Hey guys I am not ont the scheming board but just a question to scotty and you all. Would it yank at WH heartstrings if he was somehow consulted on the doggy? Is this possible to incorporate into the olive branch/plan A spirit of the plan B? Just wondering how the new pup would make WH feel and of course I just love to stress out OW with more of WH wishing he was home.



Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Since I am in Plan B and no thinking of WH allowed, I don't really give a whoopity hoot what WH would think about the puppy. I only care that I would make myself and my 2 boys happy with a puppy. laugh

There will be no consulting with WH about the puppy. WH will know about it because DS9 tells him EVERYTHING, but I don't want his input at all. Sorry, this sounds a little cranky but it really isn't. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
It will also give him the message that, while he is still WANTED, as long as he is committing adultery, he has NO SAY-SO in your life.

I was thinking about TST and SMB last night, and I think that the first inkling that he might come back (even though we didn't realize it at the time) was when some people from their church came over to finish the drywall of their kitchen renovation (which was started before he moved out). Well, TNT apparently couln't stand having other people taking care of HIS family, and he came over and started redoing their work. I can remember SMB posting about how her kids watched him working on the walls like he had gone plumb, totally out of what little mind he had left!

Got anything around the house that needs taking care of...and which would totally bum him out if somebody else did it? Just an idea...


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
There are a few things around the house that WH said he would fix after he moved out(of course this was before he knew about my marvelous Plan B0 The porch roof needs fixing. My BIL has told me that he would be willing to help me out with that. It is the front of the house so it will be noticeable. I am also going to redo the bathroom and fix the leaking roof. Man, this house is falling apart HAHAHAHAHA. I am just getting the money saved up. I don't think it would have an effect on WH but it needs to be fixed anyways. He let the house slide while he was committing adultery. I am gonna pick up the pieces. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
Well, you never know!

In the meantime, maybe you could make some changes in the house. You can bet that the boys will tell him all about it.

Take down any pictures with him in them (but leave one or two in teh boys' rooms). Rearrange the furniture. Paint walls, or maybe even some furniture that you're tired of. Slipcover some pillows (easy to do, even if you're not all that handy with sewing). Just change things up a little.


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
I did paint the hallway coming in the house. I haven't finished it yet but it is in the works. I have thought about changing the rooms around. Flipping the living room and dining room. Now that it is warmer out, I am going to get scrapping the wallpaper and painting. The only pic we have of WH is our family pic in the living room. I could move it in to the boys room. We got a table lamp in the dining room and DS9 told WH right away. I think it is hilarious when he tells WH things like that because it seems like a 9 year old wouldn't care about things like that and he makes it sound like he is so excited. He was excited about the new fridge too.

Last edited by Scotland; 03/26/10 06:03 PM.

BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by Scotland
Since I am in Plan B and no thinking of WH allowed, I don't really give a whoopity hoot what WH would think about the puppy. I only care that I would make myself and my 2 boys happy with a puppy. laugh

There will be no consulting with WH about the puppy. WH will know about it because DS9 tells him EVERYTHING, but I don't want his input at all. Sorry, this sounds a little cranky but it really isn't. laugh

See thats why im not on the team... crybaby

Hey scotty sounds like you are gonna have fun in the house. yay!!


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
We're all on the team. smile

Oh goody, household repairs! Start with the porch roof just as soon as you possibly can. Tomorrow??? I know you can't afford everything at once, though it would be hilarious if you could ("Dad, Mom just re-did EVERYTHING!!!!!!"). And I know he'll hear about everything you do.

Still, something right in his face that he will have to look at every time he pulls up to pick up or drop off the boys...that looks like Point A to me.

Without wasting a lot of time trying to figure out his reactions, there are things you can do strategically even in PB that may be helpful. Just toss them out there to happen, and then don't waste another thought on whether they did what you hoped.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Page 76 of 199 1 2 74 75 76 77 78 198 199

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 95 guests, and 46 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro, annonymous, Robert Robertson
71,893 Registered Users
Latest Posts
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,614
Posts2,323,458
Members71,893
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5