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Pondscum.
"All men cheat." Certainly not all. Well, all pea-brained self-centered, insecure, uncaring POS men do.
I really resent this type of thinking as a BH who has always been 100% faithful in my M, as well as any previous relationships from high school to my M.
What a real winner this guy is. I'm guessing DF is single? Can't imagine anyone stupid enough to be with a guy like this.
-SOL
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Anne- just a side thought...
Maybe WH hangs with a lower bunch so as to feel better about himself by comparison?
-SOL
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Pondscum.
"All men cheat." Certainly not all. Well, all pea-brained self-centered, insecure, uncaring POS men do.
I really resent this type of thinking as a BH who has always been 100% faithful in my M, as well as any previous relationships from high school to my M.
What a real winner this guy is. I'm guessing DF is single? Can't imagine anyone stupid enough to be with a guy like this. DF is not single. He has been married for 8 years and has been cheating on his wife for three years. She came close to catching him but doesn't want to believe it. I'm glad to hear that not all men cheat. I'm sorry you are a BH. No one deserves to have this happen to them.
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Anne- just a side thought...
Maybe WH hangs with a lower bunch so as to feel better about himself by comparison? That is an interesting thought. I've been thinking about this non-stop. WH has been friends with Dirtbag since high school. Best friends. This was the best man at our wedding who gave an amazing toast. It hurts to think about it. Part of me just feels that if these are the kind of people that WH wants to surround himself with then maybe I don't have a place in his life. Seriously, it's like I don't know who he is.
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Wow. Obviously DF is justifying his actions with those facebook posts. Guess he can't just rise above his baser instincts and it's interesting how he blames the BS. He's not worth any further thought from me.
I won't attempt judge the character of your WH as I don't really know him or your whole sitch. What I do know that like my WW, these waywards become somebody different when they start the A. It's that whole 'alien' theory and it sure seems to fit.
-SOL
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Save a screenshot of that to show Dirtbag's wife later.
Myself? I would be tempted to create a fake account JUST for the purpose of responding to that really stupid remark.
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Anne,
What is the situation at home? Are you in Plan A right now?
What has your husband�s demeanor and attitude been these past couple weeks?
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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I won't attempt judge the character of your WH as I don't really know him or your whole sitch. What I do know that like my WW, these waywards become somebody different when they start the A. It's that whole 'alien' theory and it sure seems to fit. I don't even know him anymore. He's not the man I married. Maybe he was like this all along and I never knew it. Right now I'm questioning everything.
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Save a screenshot of that to show Dirtbag's wife later.
Myself? I would be tempted to create a fake account JUST for the purpose of responding to that really stupid remark. I've been saving info for Dirtbag's wife when it comes to that. It's tempting to start a fake account and respond to Dirtbag's blogs but I don't want to get off track.
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What is the situation at home? Are you in Plan A right now?
What has your husband�s demeanor and attitude been these past couple weeks? His demeanor hasn't changed. He acted a bit strange last week but is back to normal. I'm working on getting evidence and the carrot part of Plan A. Still checking those emails and hopeful more will turn up. I don't think he's on to me with that yet. The VAR is back in the car with fresh batteries. There was some contact via email between he and Dirtbag today and since the weekend is coming up, I am hopeful that they will talk in the car tomorrow or Friday. I think I will learn alot from what is said when he talks to him. Dirtbag seems to know him better than I do. Wish me luck!
Last edited by anne505; 03/31/10 09:38 PM.
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I hope you get something tangible too. I don't hope that your WH is actually doing anything, but I just hope that you can KNOW so you can get past this step and on to the next one. Keep it up. You are doing GREAT.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Not sure if you want to invest in another VAR, but I had 2 so that when I was listening/reviewing one the other was in the car taping. That way I was sure that at least I was monitoring the time that WH was in the car. Yes, they do use a lot of batteries!
I previously shared that I hid the VAR within one of the carseats. Wouldn't you know that a few days later, my WH discovered the microphone! Thank goodness I had removed the taperecorder earlier in the day. Of course he wanted to know what it was. I told him it had been there a long time (not a lie, but I also didn't offer that I was still recording him). Now I have to find another hiding place!
Good luck and I hope that you can get the information you need to move forward one way or another.
Me:44
WH:41
M:4 years
3 small children
DD#1 (OW#3): 8-7-09
I filed D: 8-7-09
Began R: 10-25-09
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t/j Crushed4, I do remember you sharing where your hiding place was and someone warning you that he might find out. Wow EERIE. t/j done
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I hope you get something tangible too. I don't hope that your WH is actually doing anything, but I just hope that you can KNOW so you can get past this step and on to the next one. Keep it up. You are doing GREAT. Thanks Scotland. You have been a great source for advice and support for me. I really appreciate it.
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Crushed - I do remember you talking about the car seats being a good spot. How strange that he found it shortly after we talked about that. Have you confronted him? If you don't mind my asking, why do you still have a VAR? Just trying to get an idea of what I might be in for in the future. Thanks.
Also, I did consider getting another for that purpose. I'm going to see how it goes with the one I have and take it from there.
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Save a screenshot of that to show Dirtbag's wife later.
Myself? I would be tempted to create a fake account JUST for the purpose of responding to that really stupid remark. I've been saving info for Dirtbag's wife when it comes to that. It's tempting to start a fake account and respond to Dirtbag's blogs but I don't want to get off track. My two cents - don't respond to his blog, even anonymously. You're right - it would just serve as a distraction. Plus, the chance is good he would figure out that it's you.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Maritalbliss - you're right. And Dirtbag does not deserve any of the time and energy that I should be spending on my marriage.
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How do you get through the really bad days? Today has been very difficult.
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How do you get through the really bad days? Today has been very difficult. Get up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the library and pick out a recipe book that has some ethnic, nifty recipe in it that you'd like to try. Then make the meal and eat it. Go to see a movie (without adultery in the plot.) Plant some flowers. Pull some weeds. Buy new rugs for the kitchen. Buy dishtowels to match. Heck, throw in some new neat-colored cooking utensils while you're at it. But mainly, get up, get moving.  Anne
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I was there when he found the microphone. His hand brushed against it when he was getting one of the kids out of the carseat. UGH! Although we are trying to recover, I am still snooping to make sure there is NC. He broke NC so many times after the DD#1 in August. Also, this was not WH first A. I'm probably obsessed but I need to know he is not lying to me anymore. Although I'm not able to monitor his conversations when he is at work. It really sucks!
Me:44
WH:41
M:4 years
3 small children
DD#1 (OW#3): 8-7-09
I filed D: 8-7-09
Began R: 10-25-09
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