I would also like to add that posting here is great practice for all those people who are conflict avoiders (which is a problem in many recoveries) and/or who struggle with handling things IRL they way they would like.

For the conflict avoiders, I think this site can show you that it really will not hurt you if people disagree with you and show you that no matter how much you try, not everyone is going to like/agree with you. It's good for your self-esteem to realize your thoughts have value.

For people who struggle to say the "right" things this is a great place to learn to collect your thoughts, really try to listen to what the other person is posting and answer in the way that you want. Plus, I think you will find that by doing that, at first it will be a slow process when typing here, but you will get more skilled at it over time and be able to translate that into real life.

Watch (Read) one...

Do one...

Teach one...


Learning:

Apprenticeship...

Accomplishment...

Stewardship...


Mentoring:

Encouragement...

Sharing what you have already learned and what you already know...

Learning by teaching others...

Here's my reply too!!!!!!

For me, I keep posting to remind MYSELF of what I'm supposed to be doing....

Because.....

sometimes I forget.....

not2fun

ps...oh, and I'm still trying to post something really smart sounding so I can FINALLY make it into "Pep's Notable's"......

Despite living in an unrecovered marriage after 18 mos. of MC with Steve and an unrepentant spouse, I still believe in Marriage Builders and refer and encourage everyone dealing with infidelity who I meet to come here and get the Harley books.

Just this morning I called a new friend who lives on the opposite coast from me to encourage her to call the coaching center.

She's had 3 DDays that blew up her 30 year marriage. Her husband is being deployed in a few days - found out 1 week ago.

I am desperate for her to get an appt. and plan in place before her H leaves.

I believe in Marriage Builders.

I am realizing now how important it is to say - "welcome, sorry, listen up."

Not so important that I give MY story.

Mel is so right on and helped me with her postings early on.

She is the best salesperson for MB I ever met, (if one can say such a position exists!)

I will try to post more.

Don't feel bad Not. The only post I made that made it to notables involved bodily functions.

....

Yeah...It is pretty cool the way I am forever kicking Mel's butt around here, huh?

Mrs. W

Uh-oh, here comes Mel...

But it was a really really really really really really really

GOOD one !

Mrs. W

Where, I don't see her?

Larry

Hi Larry,

Simply, you're right.

I related this to my very first few AA meetings when people there greeted me and talked to me after the meeting like I was a human being too! I have to smile at that, because I did not feel like a whole one at that time.

Like some others I didn't post much because I often felt unsure of what response I would get , esp. when you don't know anyone really. It is like you do have to be careful today before opening your heart. For me it just simply takes getting to know people and that is just me.

Now that I feel I do know at least a few, and that I was dressed down last weekend for my inappropriate and hurtful behavior and that I accepted that, I just simply feel more comfortable. Each person has to go at his/her own pace.

There is still in my mind what could I possibly offer, but that is me, but yes, we each and every one of us have our own God-given life experiences. So, just thanks Larry.

Larry, I got to tell you since you seem to be a nice guy, but this is kind of funny. My wife has not been the type of person honestly to use any kind of well explicit language, and I really don't put these terms in those categories, but mainly about going to the bathroom basically. Well tonight I talked to her on the phone, could not get there cause of work today, but we were discussing the time I would pick her up Sunday for Easter brunch and also Monday to take her shopping for clothes and a dinner, and when I was not sure she told me "will you hurry up because I to to p**s. Now with her it has always been I have to go to the bathroom or I have to p**. We both laughed when I told her only men p**s and we really laughed hard. Bottom line is she seems sort of like a different person now honestly to me, but seems so like divulging to me anthing she feels like.

Samll point to you all probably but a differece to me.

Larry simply a good post.

Tom

I haven't finished reading this entire thread yet but I wanted to say that the best thing a BS can hear (in my opinion) is "You're not alone, I've been there before and you can do this. "

And I think that is what Tom was saying as well.



And that is exactly what I am trying to encourage.

Thanks Tom and Smiley. . .

Larry

One of the most life-changing and profound lessons I have learned here is something I only learned recently.....


You have to click on "reply" instead of just doing the quick reply to use all the cool smileys




(giggles like a six year old)