You have the right to flatten them like a pancake. But don't do it - state laws frown on assault & battery

I wouldn't acknowledge their existence. They aren't worth your time. When you think of them just wipe your shoes off on a rug.

The OW are NOTHING to you and should be thought of as such.

This is what your next steps are. Tell OWH and somehow get OW out of that office and away from your WH.

Baby steps. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Breath. You will be fine.

WHAT??? I AM SUPPOSE TO BREATH THROUGH ALL OF THIS??? SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT THAT PART!!

No, seriously, I appreciate everyones input so much. This has been the worst experience of my life...and my family is completely unsupportive...have felt like the only person I have is the person who inflicted all this pain in the first place!

If they have the "right" to screw your husband, then you have the "right" to say whatever the hell you want to them.

OK NEXT.....Dr Harley talks about "just compensation" I do not feel simply giving up the women is "just compensation". Maybe I am missing something. Can someone give me examples of just compensation. He is completely willing to do "whatever it takes" to keep me in his life and he is showing this daily but I always feel it just is not enough.

wow it's so great to see I am not going to get any help here either.

Well, what have you done? You were given very specific advice to tell OWH. Have you done this yet?

You were also told that as long as your WH works with OW you will not be able to recover your marriage. What are you doing to change that?

When and how did you expose to OWH?
How did that go?

Just compensation - you guys figure that out together. You WH can never "make it all up" to you. Things will NEVER be the same. But.. they can be better, in a "lessons we've learned the hard way" manner. Your WH can:
Give you all access to his financial records
Carry a cellphone w/GPS always on and enabled so you know where he is
Give you all his passwords
Put keyloggers on all the computers he uses
Spend 15+ hours of UA time with you each week

If you guys read "Surviving an Affair" and work through the whole thing, you'll be off to a good start. By "work through the whole thing" I mean answer all the questions, discuss what you're reading, do the worksheets, etc. Many couples find it helpful to read chapters or sections to each other.

Don't let seven (7) days go by again. If you don't get an answer the first time you ask, ask again. Posts get lost amid the multitude of posts.

So I know you haven't left, ask again, I will answer.

Larry

That is a very rude way to speak to people who gave you a lot of advice in their own free time.

One thing I wanted to say, in your first post you said something about not meeting his needs causing the affair. One thing you need to know...the A was 100% HIS responsibility. You did not in any way cause his affair. Yes, maybe the state of your marriage wasn't the greatest, but the A was HIS choice. If he is trying to make you feel you in any way caused this he needs to wake up. I am a FWW, and our marriage wasn't stellar when I cheated. But my A was my responsibility...period. And it was wrong...period.

I do agree with telling the OWH ASAP, and while your H is still working with her, there needs to be some uber accountability. His job right now is to have true, meaningful remorse, take full responsibility, be completely transparent, and do whatever you need to help you through this. I am going to cross my fingers that when OWH learns of the A, he demands that she find another job. That would solve one of your problems.

It is a long road, and I will never know all the pain my H went through, but if it gives you hope, we are four close to four years out from D-Day, still married, and working on having a great marriage. There can be a light at the end of the tunnel, and it doesn't have to be a train!

If you haven't already, go to the MB home page, and make your way down all of the infidelity articles. They have so much good stuff in them.