Your mom may not even have to follow him. If you think you know the apartments, she could just park there and wait for him to come.

Yes, believer that would be easier.

PFM2-It's good that you are thinking about this. Have you done all of the exposure on your(yours and WH) side?

If you find out it is someone he works with, would you expose at work? You need to think about these things now, because when you discover the info you may be too emotional to think straight.

A good people search engine is pipl.com. I found all kinds of stuff that I didn't want to know about people.

I found out some things on www.pipl.com too. I found out that POSOW is a CHATROOM JUNKIE. She belonged to sites I didn't even know existed.

Yes, its a very comprehensive search site. I was just fooling around with it and found out all kinds of things.

Sounds like a good plan. Now you take care of you, and that's an order!

If I do find out that OW is from work, I will expose at his work. I will be shocked if that is the case, but I will expose.

I played around with that website a little. Is it worth paying for information from a site like intellus (sp?)to get background information? How about a site for unknown cell phone numbers?

As far as taking care of myself, I am actually getting my hair highlighted tomorrow (and mom is paying for it). I am a little nervous. I did it in college and it was this horrible brassy blonde that came out and then one other time I had red put in. My hair seems to be somewhat chameleon, because after about a day, all of my hair turned red and you couldn't tell I had it highlighted. My hair changes color naturally from the time I walk in to get my hair cut to the time I leave. After a perm, it is completely different also. It is very odd, so I hope it is not a waste of money.

See what you have to work with. Intelius can be very good and is way cheaper than a PI, but I'd still run any info through the free sites first, and even Facebook, before even a good paid site.

I just looked myself up on pipl. There was quite a bit of info there, and it was accurate.

Ahh...went out to my van this morning to go to my hair appointment. I had parked on the side of the street and found that someone decided to side swipe my van last night!! Another positive thing in my life. NOT!!! Called the cops to file a report and called to say I would be late to my appointment. Didn't take long for police to come so only a few minutes late to my appointment.

My mom loved my hair...the highlight, style, etc. I am having a hard time with it, just cause it was a change for me. I think I will like it when I have a chance to was and style it myself. It is VERY different for me.

Got my mom's scale because my daughter wanted it for some reason. When I stepped on it, found out I had lost 75lbs.!!!! I was completely shocked. I knew I am constantly still losing weight because I put clothes on that the week before fit well and now they are HUGE!!! I put a shirt on that I haven't been able to wear for well over 8 years and it was HUGE!!!! I have no casual clothes that fit me right now and unfortunately I have no money to buy some casual clothes for myself. Putting the kids needs first in the clothing area because their clothes get too small where mine are toooooooooo big. I weigh less now than I did 10 years ago!!

Well, don't lose too much, plus you should be eating healthily.

Have you checked thrift stores for clothing? We have some real good ones here, where if you look you can find some nice things.

I won't, other than the fact that I had been trying to work on losing weight before all of this came into play. I could still lose another 30lbs and not have lost too much. I am eating fairly healthy, much more than I used to.

I haven't checked out thrift shops yet. I have been more concerned with work clothes up to this point and will focus on finding more casual clothes towards the end of student teaching in May because I won't be wearing them much until then.

Once your weight is stable, get rid of your bigger clothes. That will give you more incentive to keep exercising and keep the weight off. That's what I did. Was size 12 before D-day and now size 2. Donated EVERYTHING, and I had nice work clothes.

Thanks for the advice! I plan to because it is hard when everything is so big on me.

Had some interaction with WH today. He seemed to be a little angry/agitated/etc. Don't know why. He took the kids out to go bowling (aggravating since he is fun guy doing a fun activity ). DS said that WH was talking with DD when they were there. I talked with DD to see what was going on. She said WH was talking to her about not talking to him on the phone. She has been refusing to talk.

When I got home, WH was sleeping on the floor while DD was putting a wood block puzzle together. He was trying to stay awake to help, but kept dozing off. WH did not realize that I was standing right there (or maybe he did, but don't think so) when he asked DD if she missed him. It was a weird, unprompted question to her as I had been there for several minutes and he was not talking to her about anything like that. DD of course said yes. He then noticed me and said, "Oh, hi!" WH said to DD that they could finish that puzzle and then he would have to leave. DD actually told him not to worry or bother with helping her. WH said two more times to her about helping her with the puzzle. The second time, she made the same type of comment about don't worry that she would get it. The third time they did work and finish the puzzle together.

WH was pretty quite and cold towards me. Don't know why, but also thought later that this was the first time he had seen me since I had my hair highlighted, cut, new style, and dressed to show the 75lbs. that I have lost.

Well, that must have felt good. He should be quiet and cold, because he is being an [censored] and could lose you and his family.

Hope you are getting some rest this week.

I have never gotten this much rest. I need to start retraining my body for school hours starting tonight. I am getting into a bad habit of staying up late and getting up late. I see clients starting today because the kids are all gone and out of town til Sunday morning.

Taking some of the kids clothes to a resale shop this morning to get rid of some of them and what I don't get rid of, I will put in a garage sale. Got to keep busy since alone for several days. I know I shouldn't be thinking this, but I wonder if I will hear from WH between now and when the kids come home. I am expecting him not to call and not to hear from him period that way there is definitely no disappointment. If he does call, I will actually be shocked and surprised. If he stops by, maybe my parents dog will bite him since she is here for the weekend.

He's also worried that your new appearance might be intended for someone besides him. Let him stew, though if he asks you point-blank, that's a good opportunity for a response like, "I believe in our marriage. We can still be happy together, as soon as there are only 2 of us in the picture."

I like that response. I am going to have to practice it a few times so I remember it. Thanks!

I know this is a good thing, but I fight feeling good about it because of the situation with my M. I looked in the mirror today (and actually looked at myself) and kind of liked what I saw as far as the new hair and the weight loss. Unfortunately, I started feeling guilty about feeling good about myself right now with the mess my M is in.

How do I get over stupid things like that?? I want to feel good, but I don't want to feel good because I want my WH back and interested in me and looking at me and liking what he sees.

PFM2-A BONUS to Plan A. I started wearing makeup and dressing up. I bought myself some new clothes. I had many people telling me how good I looked(not WH). I have lost about 40lbs(I think, I NEVER weigh myself). I still get told I look good and guess what? I keep wearing makeup most days. I made changes in myself during my Plan A that have become part of who I am. See in Plan A, you are supposed to become who you WANT to be. You show your WH who that new and improved person is and the GREAT SIDE EFFECT is that you BECOME that person. Don't feel guilty about it. Grab o to those feelings when you are feeling down.