Hi,

First of all I would just very much like to simply wish everyone here who does follow this celebration a very Happy Easter.

Our family had a really nice day today, and I am still stuffed from the brunch, and so is my wife, and she actually ate more than my son and I did...and she also had ice cream when she was home here for awhile this afternoon. So much for her getting into her bikini in June..*S*

We talked about alot of things at brunch and also here, and simply I have quite abit to do now in the next several weeks based on that.

It was so good to have us all out together, and when we were on our way to the restaurant our daughter phoned and they had a good discussion. She actually told her, and also my son who also was on the call 'do you realize your dad and I love each other very much'. This is so hard for me to believe that she actually after like several several months now for me to believe, but I do. With her it isn't something she would broadcast unless she meant it.

There are things she told me and also our son that really hurt and disturb me. There was another incident of abuse that she related, that she said she was afraid to tell us about. Not recently but three weeks ago. There were a few more things, one involving the lower class 'filth' she was had resided there with, but my son and I did not let her elaborate on today unless there was something really immediate because we did not want her to get depressed or to at all ruin her day, and this was really Her day as well as our family's. I will take these things up with her tomorrow.

Turtlehead, she was so excited to see the framed pictures of the cats that I cannot tell you. I had them wrapped in colored tissue and in one of those colored gift bags, and she made me open and rewrap them like three times just so she could look at them. For a cell phone camera, they really did turn out terrific.

And then, our neighbor who has the husky was walking her and C saw and then it was to our son and daughter and me "we're getting a dog..we're getting a dog". She actually had a chance to go out and pet her and wow talk about falling in love. So well lots of work next few months.

Optimism, how did you dinner go. I sincerely as well as could be. I offered this day's prayer in the Divine Mercy Novena I am now doing for you and for some special others.

I know this is breaking with the tradition here as far as creating new posts....I don't honestly feel that many are looking at my original topic anymore, so just to get my good feelings our in terms of the developments here, and just to wish all of you well, I chose to solicit a new topic. Anyway, you could ask C for yourselves and she would say that I have always been controversial.

I do also have a serious question, and I told Char that I have found a site on which I am communicating and that has been very helpful to me. I suggested that she might like to post - it would have to be on the computer here because she does not have one - but she sounded at least this afternoon and half way interested. Would that be appropriate or the more I think, it might be very valuable for her too. It would be intermittant as she would have to post when she is here. I sort of thing that it may be good for her.

So Happy Easter,

Tom

Tom- Happy Easter to you and your dear wife. It would be fine if she posted here.

Question Tom and you may have answered this before. What is the prognosis on Char coming home and leaving the facility?

Larry

Optimism,

You are very familiar with nursing homes from what you had advised me.

One of the things that I now realize that we have been up against is that she was extremely disheveled emotionally and psycholocically when she first went to this place. She felt abaondoned, and I can understand that totally. On the other hand, some of the people there (meaning supposidly trained health care workers) listened to her too much, and did not even try to contact us..her family. This went on for most of last fall untill she was with us at Christmas dinner.

The only people there who did encourage her to reunite with her family are her counsleor, who is a good guy, and her psychiatrist who is also good. In fact, the administrator there who is Not a trained health care worker but simply an admin. type person advised her Not to contact her family. As I might have mentioned to you before, I had found a better place, altho farther away. Her psychiatrist the other day told her to "go for it" and that she could still see him, which I would take her to do. She likes him so much better than her psychiatrist who she has had for last 30 years.

When I told her this afternoon that my son daughter and I would so arrange for her to see other places she was very happy. To do that, and we are in the process if this now is for her to appt. my son or me as her power of attorney and that is simply because she does have some cognitive problems which we have know for awhile now. It would be an amicable transfer because her bother who is now POA is older and in NC and does not desire to exert the energy for this. Hopefully this will be done in two weeks. She asked our son this afternoon to be her POA. He will think about it, and if he declines it will be me. I hope it is him, because as my wife asked me today "but what if anything happens to you". Well I realize that on the POA document there is a section for appointing a successor. Our daughter cannot because she also lives in another state.

We (my son and I) are both going to be vigilant becuase now that this place knows our intent and my wife's we all realized there may be some attempted retribution on their part (i.e., dragging their feet on an evaluation, switching her counselor, which Char told us today they want to do, and other things.) The reason I think this Is the case is that they have a pay-as-you-go resident, whereas others are on public aid. A bad bad citation for some of those there who take that stance. The abuse incidents I know they are concerned about now, they brought in a psychologist a few weeks ago according to my wife who is holding sessions now on abuse and what to do.

I so know others here are separated and I can now so relate to their situations. This would be so much of a different fight now if she was able to stay here at home for at least a few days a week and that we had more quality time or whatever you call it, UA.

The thing I am so struggling with now and I don't feel I am different from most others here is that there are so many people in this world who Do Not respect marriage and the privacy and exclusiveness of family. In my case, it is the bottom of the barrel people who are there and are trying to twist her, who make some very insensible mistakes, who allow a (f...g) POS to sway and be on contact with her...and okay just got a call from my Char a minute ago the nurse told her they could not find her meds for tonight. I told C to sit down and relax, wait 15 minutes and if now meds, call me, and guess what Opt, then I am going to get on my white horse with my black hat and someone is going to have a sorry A&&&. Sorry Opt this last came up as I was typing this and I am so p.o'd I can't tell you.

Need to go and handle this and going to call my son if necesary and then we will go up there.

Opt...thanks.


Tom