One of the things I'm so grateful of is that Dr H's prediction that if you work your Plan-A long enough and the WS doesn't respond, that when you do walk away that you will have "less" regrets and the emotional attachment that you had for your spouse will be diminished to the point that a D will be less painful.

I've got to say that at least for right now that I'm finding that true........ time will tell if I can say that in a year. I'll try to put an update next year on that thought.

SW and Kirby, my trust issue I think will come up late in a developing relationship. IF I ever get serious again, I think that might rear it's ugly head. I know that's were being honest will pay off...... I've got alot to learn about dating

Me, too, Dude. Me, too.

I've been wondering... What's the deal about her hair? (Since you called your thread "I never like her hair anyway.....")

Kirby,

I think her hair is just fine, there have been times over the 29 year marriage that I would have liked a different style......

I think what I was trying to convey was the sentiment that kids will often do which is "I never liked you either"....... done as a way of covering our true emotions which are I really do like you even though you have hurt me. It was my lame attempt at some humor I guess.

Happy New Year !!!

SC

T-minus 8 days and counting

Aren't y'all still in the same house? You should probably figure out now what you're going to do the rest of that day. It could get really awkward. Make plans to hang out with some buddies or something.

I just got home for the week, and I have got to get with my lawyer right away to finish the settlement agreement,so that will be keeping me busy. In the mean time I plan to start the rehab of the house and need to start in my closet with a dumpster. I hope by the end of the week to have made significant progress on the house.

As soon as possible we need to get the house painted and floors done, not sure what else yet, so we can get it listed for sale. If I get bored at all I'll go ski with the boys..... nice to have that option.

I'm not planning to be sitting around after the D on the 9th. LSU plays Bama that night, I'll find some friends to hang with to watch that, as long as LSU beats BAMA I'll be feeling pretty good about it.

T-minus 7

I have planed for along time to hand my ring to the WW as we leave court, I've been waring it the whole time. Not sure if I would just drop it on the table in front of her or hand it to her. Then there's the whole speech thing, I could use some help with that one.

This is what I've got so far.......

1.

2. good luck

3. I will continue to pray for you

4. When your ready God will be waiting

5. I know I did everything in my power to save us, I only wish you would have done the same.

6. We could have grown old together

7. F U ( don't really mean that one)


I've thought of a longer speech and may still come up with one. You'd think that after 5 years since the initial D-date I would have a lot to say, but generally feel shorter is better.

Love to know what you think.

SC

#8. Pawn it and donate the money to your favorite charity.

With over four years into this now your still not going to say anything to educate her.

The organiztion will appreciate it and no foot in mouth syndrome.

Prayin for ya man.

Keep your head held high.

nESRE

Be Clint Eastwood. Walk away confidently and let the only thing she hear be the jingling of your spurs. But seriously, say very little, and let of the rest of your lives do the talking. I'm betting yours will be the more fulfilling.

I agree with nESRE.

In a wedding ceremony, the officiant says something like this: "Wedding rings are an outward and visible sign of an inward spiritual grace and the unbroken circle of love, signifying to all the union of this man and this woman in marriage."

Your wife disdained your marriage and treated you and your family with contempt. She broke her vows and destroyed your marriage. Here's a verse from the Bible for you to think about:

�Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." ~Matthew 7:6



I just had an idea. In Japan there's a trend to have divorce ceremonies. Part of the "event" is a ritual smashing of the ring with a big wooden gavel. If you absolutely HAVE to give it back to her, smash it or cut it first to represent the destruction of the marriage. But don't tell her anything. Nothing good can come of it.

About a hour ago I had a talk with the WW, we're still trying to get the settlement hammered out. Apparently I left that last meeting on the 7th of Dec with a different understanding of the division of assets than her. So we got some serious distance to figure out.

Anyway in the process of talking it out, I said some things and she responded to them, and I am thinking your right about anything I say effecting her. Any statement would be for my benefit only.

My wedding band is like my Dad's, it is a simple narrow man's band. I know gold prices are way up but I can't imagine the band would be worth much, but I'll check it out........

My dh got $240 for his. Not much, but it was enough to buy his ds a hunting gun. Two birds, one stone and all that.

Funny you should mention that, I just recently bulged the end of my shotgun barrel and need to buy a new one. I had look and the barrel is around the 230-250 range.

Something to think about

SC

nESRE,

Thanks for checking in on me, I hope all in well in your world, I keep hoping you would start a thread over here, I know your doing some good pay back on the SAA side and the newbes appreciate it.

I'm T-minus 4 and counting, I've hit some snags in the settlement, had 3 meetings with my lawyer today and will have a joint meeting with all 4 of us tomorrow. I think we can sort it out, there is one hill I'm willing to die on over my pension, which if I cave on would not only cost me half (which I've already agreed to ) but would further reduce my side so the WW could get the rest of the pension if I die before her........... just not willing to give that one up..... no sir ...... that's just not right!!!!!

Anyway I'm hanging in there and hopeful we can find a solution tomorrow

SC

T-Minus 2

Believe it or not I actually signed a settlement decree after working together with the WW and both lawyers for 5 hours yesterday and all that is left is to stand in front of the judge 8:30 Monday morning, say yes 4 times and no once, then we are done.

Now I have a mountain of work to do to get our house ready to sale, but I have know that all along. Have already started on it, but having 16 boxes packed out of a couple hundred leaves a lot to do. I don't think it will be work I mind and will keep me busy, I do thrive on projects,

So as I get off this computer I'll put my head down on it for awhile

I'm glad y'all got it worked out. Getting the last details hammered out is an exhausting process.

You'll enjoy having something physical to do this weekend, just don't expect to be able to make good decisions. After I moved and finally started working on unpacking, I found boxes filled with the weirdest conglomeration of stuff. Stick with mindless tasks like....umm, raking leaves?

Got the garage to the walls ...... two PU loads to the dump, next the pressure washer goes in...

SC

SC,

You gonna be Eastwood on Monday morning? ;-)

Best as you enter a new chapter of life. Author it well!

Peace.

Just3,

I feel like my life has been on hold for so long. I've got some loose plans, The only firm one is to not get in a committed relationship for awhile, I feel sure that would be wrong for me and her.

I'll do my best to ""Author it well" , I am excited to be moving forward, of course still have to sale the farm and that will take some months to accomplish.

SC

SC,

I know, I know. I'm glad to hear you're taking it slow and not rushing anything. Though I have been lonely and starving for intimacy and affection for several years, I am going to stay away from a relationship too. Instead, I am going to focus on my DD's(9 and 12). They and my job, which is very demanding, deserve my full attention, and I'll have a hard time managing well much else since I'll most likely have full custody.

Whatever you do, go out and make a difference. It's a Wonderful Life is one of my favorite movies, and Socrates words "The unexamined life is not worth living" give us something to contemplate as we search for meaning in this new chapter of our lives. Once again, good luck to you. Carpe Diem!

FREE AGENT ...........

WAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!