I am having a real hard time deciding if I should continue sending my ex husband cards and letters and small little care packages to let him know that I still love him and still care. I was the one who cheated , he filed and the divorce has been final about 3 months. I still don'e want him to think I am giving up on us.(He made mention of us getting back together in the future) I just don't know if that was something he felt like saying at the time or if he really feels that way. Of couse many of my friends say that I need to stop sending him anything, that he can't miss what is still around. We are told to love unconditionally right? It's a real tough one, I want to call him everyday and tell him how much I love and miss him, but not if that's not what HE wants. I just wish I knew what he wanted. Any suggestions would be appreciated.<BR>

You didn't mention whether he acknowledges your cards & gifts? Or whether you think he might be involved with someone else. I would think it would be okay if he appeared to be receptive. If not, then I would back off. <P>I'm on the other side of the fence; H betrayed me. But if we were divorced and he tried to reconcile, I think I would give him another chance. Although, I'm not there yet, so I can't say for sure.

No, he doesn't respond anymore. He did at first. He did make a comment that he wondered if I would stop all the cards, letters etc. after the divorce. It makes me wonder if I'm being put to a test. He is seeing someone but I don't know how serious it is. His mother says I should stop cause he can't miss me if I am still around, even if it's just through letters. When he asked for the rings back, he said he was just gonna put them in a safety deposit box so that "if and when we got back together, that they would be there for me". That comment keeps me hanging on. I just can't find it in me to let him go, but I don't want to prolong the wait either. HELP!

If you have experienced this, please reply. I need advice bad.

I'm tempted to send him a card and care package. Should I leave him alone or continue letting him know I love him and still care?

I send my wife e-mail letters, cards, and gifts all the time (she is the betrayer still involved via internet with the om) and she doesn't acknowledge them at all. But I have found that she has saved a lot of them, so I know she notices. I say keep doing it...it shows him that you care..he notices but doesn't want you to think he is "caving" in. Keep it up!<BR>dzrt

dzrt-<BR>Thanks for the encouragement. I guess the worst that could happen is that he could "return to sender" everything I mail him. He hasn't done that. I find that on this forum most of the spouses that are the ones wanting to make the marriage work are the ones who were betrayed. I'm I the only one who screwed up and actually wants my spouse back?

Hi.<P>I send a letter or so a week, an occasional card. Only time he ever said a word was thanking me for the anniversary card AND to say the letters were long (which should not surprise ANYONE on this forum! LOL)<P>BUT, I found out from his mom that he reads each one more than once. And SHE found out from Sweetie that he saves them ALL in his car (bet that goes over REAL well!).<P>So, IMHO, keep it up! Unless you find a good reason not to.<P>Lori<P>

My H is living with the OW. I send him letters and cards, I don't even know if he gets them, since there is no response. My theory is can't hurt and it might make things better as it can't get any worse. H has already asked for a divorce. Do what you fill comfortable with. I think you will know when to quit sending him anything.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>