OK...just crunched the numbers...10,000 text's between WW and OM in the last 2 months.

Dear Lord, I hope you've got unlimited texting.

Expose.

Wording something like:


I am saddened to tell you my husband is having an affair with (name OW).
It's been going on for (length of time).
He refuses to end the affair.
I want our marriage to recover from this affair.
If you have any influence on my husband, please do what you can to get him to stop this dangerous affair.
I want to stay married, but the affair must end.

...er...switch the genders..

Just use your judgment. Tell them about the affair and ask them to use their influence to bust it up. Tell them you are trying to save your family. Phone call is usually best, but use email where you have to. If calling a close family member say "what would you advise?" <---that seems to gain their investment in your cause.

I would definitely CALL the OM's wife and when you do, disguise your # using *67 so the OM is not tipped off. Do not forewarn your wife.

I would strongly suggest doing a FACEBOOK exposure on the OM's facebook. Send all his contacts an email and say something like this:

Dear friend of Joe Scumbag,

I am the husband of Sally Sue, who is having an adulterous affair with Joe Scum. I regret sending you this letter but am asking you to use your influence to persuade Joe Scumbag to leave my wife alone. We have been married for 10 years and have 2 beautiful little daughters, aged 3 and 4. We are all heartbroken about this affair.

This affair has been going on for 10 months and threatens to break up 2 marriages, mine and Joe's. Anything you can do to persuade Joe to stop would be appreciated.

Additionally, I would appreciate it if you could get this message to Joe's parents and ask them to call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Best regards,

[write your full name and give your email address]

Yes...unlimited texting...which of course she suggested...

Something like:

I am saddened to tell you my wife is having an affair with (name OM).
It's been going on for (length of time).
She refuses to end the affair.
I want our marriage to recover from this affair.
If you have any influence on my wife, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair.
I want to stay married, but the affair must end.

Also, what do I say to the OMW?

Hello, POSOM's W,
My name is jlowesd. I'm calling you with very upsetting news, and I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but your POSH and my WW are having an A.

They have been romantically involved for XX months and have refused to end it.

I love my WW and want to save my M. I'm sure you feel the same way about your WH and your M. But we can't save our M's if the A continues.

What maritalbliss said, and give her your contact info. That way you and OM's W can keep tabs on the affair partners and keep each other updated if anything looks fishy.

For example, she could call/email you and say "POSOM says he's on a business trip this week. Is WW also gone?"

So include contact info.

She may not believe you. They often don't. Sometimes they cuss you out and hang up on you. Usually not, but just be prepared for anything.

Also the folks you tell may promise not to say anything. Encourage them to be vocal! Tell them you actually prefer that rather than helping hide this filthy secret.

Your WW is going to be FURIOUS. You know that, don't you? Dont' fear her wrath. In fact, embrace it, because if she's angry that means your exposure made a big impact.

She'll tell you things like "I was going to quit the affair but you blew any chance of that" and "I can never trust you again after you went and did something like telling everyone our private business" and "I'm filing for D!". She may leave for the night.

Just telling you this so you don't get thrown into a tailspin when it happens. Just let her rant and rave and don't worry about it.

If she asks you a direct question you can respond with "I will do whatever it takes to save this family and this marriage. I love you, but I don't like the way you're acting right now at all." Then change the subject.

If you haven't printed off OM's facebook friends, do that now. Once they wise up to what's going on, OM will block you and/or mark his info private and you won't be able to see that goldmine of info any more.

Also, let her know you will provide her with your emails and texts as evidence should she want or need them. Some people just live in denial, so if you can show up at her door and show her a printout of some of the emails, that may help convince her. I might post some of the email professing his love on the facebook exposure.

The same message, a little different wording.

I am saddened to tell you that my wife is having an affair with your husband. The purpose of my call is to get your help in stopping this affair so two marriages can be saved instead of destroyed.

I have the proof if you want to see it.

Etc.

Larry

Never admit to any flaws in your marriage.

Never beg.

Never apologize.

Never say anything bad except for details about the affair and the fact there is one ongoing.

Never deal in ultimatums and never say divorce.

Larry

As I stated previously, my WW is currently out of town but I can verify that she is staying with family. Again, should I wait until she returns to expose?

No, expose now.

No. Best to do it now. TODAY.

And if someone says "ok, I will keep it a secret" [and really people can be that dumb] tell them nononono, affairs thrive on secrecy! She needs to know you know. The point of exposure is to ............ expose.

We can let some of the vets answer that as I cannot. I just wanted to tell you if the affair is not a PA then I will be shocked. Most men do not continue to pursue someone like he has her unless they are sleeping together- they will cut their losses and move on.

DO IT NOW. And try to get it all done within a very short period of time. Make your list, starting with the OMW, and then just go down the list. It shouldn't take more than 3-4 hours.

Does the OM have a facebook page?

Your children should also be told if they are over age 7.