I am 22 years old and recently found that my husband has been cheating on me for 7 of the 8 months we have been married. Multiple other women were involved, but he is wanting to change and is making an effort. I would like to hear if anyone out there has really survived infedelity, and had a happy and thriving marriage in the end. We don't have any children. Part of me wants to get out while I am still young and can have a fresh start, yet the greater half of me is still in love with the man I married only 8 months ago. Any advice helps.
Thank You.

Hurt,

Wow. You have only been married 8-months and he has had multiple aduteries during the whole time?

No kids?


I would work on this part.

Sorry.

With a heavy heart, I have to agree with Chris.

This is a marriage builder forum. It is also a surviving an affair forum as part of the many forums that are here. Surviving an Affair means building a marriage out of the rubble, or in some cases, divorce.

Something is really, really wrong with your husband. It is not your job to fix him. You don't have the tools. But you have the need to rescue from himself.

Sorry, you can't, you really don't know how and frankly, I think it is more job than anyone can do at this stage of his life. What you want to do is impossible, in my opinion.

Welcome to MB, SAA, a club nobody wants to join. Help is here.

Larry

hon, you have made a mistake in your choice of a husband. If he has cheated this soon and cheated the whole time you have been together, then this is his character. This is a way of life for him. Additionally, you have no children and no history to hold this non-marriage together. He is clearly NOT marriage material.

You may feel "love" for him now, but I assure you that you won't soon enough and the only thing you will have left is a nothing. Get out now before he tears you down more.

Getting out now will be short term pain and long term gain. Staying will be short term pain and long term PAIN.

I am sorry you are in this mess.

I'm so sorry for your pain. We have all survived adultery in one way or another and this is a phenominal pro marriage site where you will find all the support and advice you could ever want. That said, sweetie, I would run not walk to the baddest divorce attorney I could find. Anyone that will cheat with multiple partners while you are still in the "honeymoon" stage of your M is a serial cheater. He is not M material and you will set yourself up for a lifetime of hurt. Get out while there are no children to hurt.

I'm sorry.

God's Blessings,

Say

p.s. whatever you decide to do, I would tell everyone about his sleazy affairs, especially his mother. If my son acted so TRASHY, I would beat him within an inch of his life.

I don't see a positive outcome for your sitch. You're very young, too recently married to have a positive marital history to fall on, and he's obviously not married in his own mind.

However - look at the good side, if you can see a good side: You do NOT have children. That would create a tie with this philanderer that would cause untold misery for you and your kids.

A clean break is best. Move on and find someone who is worthy of you. And don't wait until you get pregnant (see my comments about kids, above.)

Hurt,

Have you been screened for STD's?

You need to do that.

How did you find out?

7 of the 8 months you've been married??? Wow, I am so sorry that this happen to you. I'm all for fighting for your marriage, but in this case, I'd get out while I have my sanity.

He started wrong out of the gate. Honey, save your self the pain and tears that are to come, safe yourself the time, blood, sweat and tears. If he couldn't keep his self for less then a year, then in my opinion he wasn't ready to get married from the start.

Most people on here have been married for atleast 5 years before their spouse cheated, well I haven't read anywhere that the spouse cheated after one month. Basically that's what you are saying that you were married for 1 month before he started cheating. I'd venture to say it's not his first and that 9 times out of 10 he was cheating before.

I don't mean to discourage you, I know you came here for help and encouragement. The truth does hurt sometimes, as I have came onto this site and heard the truth about my situation and it did hurt my feels. But after I thought about it, I realized that it was the truth and I had to accept it. I was married 26 years before my husband cheated. Think about it, if he couldn't last a month, he sure wont last a 26 years.

You deserve better then that. How will you ever be able to trust him, how can you rebuild when from the jump you didn't have a solid foundation.

I will conclude with this, as long as there is life, there is hope. You have to decide if you want to take that chance.

My gut reaction is the same as what you've heard so far. Leave, now, while you're young and it's relatively easy (i.e no kids, no co-owned business to dissolve, etc.)

But I'm a pathetic optimist, too, so I'll ask... what efforts is he making?

I have been tested. I looked at his phone msgs. to find out. Thank you for the advice.

You will still get support here to help you through this whatever you decide to do. Sometimes it is easier to "talk" to people who know your pain than folks IRL.

God's Blessings,

Say

I would suggest leaving this guy, start over, and use the Marriage Builders stuff on this website to find a good man. I wish I knew all about affair proofing a marriage before I got married, and what to do to make you and your spose compatible. In this case you can use this valuable information to find a compatible spouse, and start early with affair proofing your marriage.

I know you are in the Honeymoon phase of marriage, and it is fogging your judgement. Listen to the people here who have had years of happy marriage. This is not a happy marriage.

I assume that you two were high school lovers, or married quickly?

If you were dating in high school I would assume that he was cheating on you then. If you were married quickly then you never really knew what this guy was capable of, you were played.