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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 21 |
Hi all,
In the past I posted my case here. After some months, I am moving out. I believe my ex-wife is a person with Bordeline disorder, but I feel a huge sense of loss. She is still a very pretty women, and I feel immensely the loss of not making love to her again, the joy, the laugh together, the companionship we had.
As I mentioned in earlier posts, We separated before (due to a affair she had with a guy who lived in another country and which was her ex-lover while she was marrried before) and tehn she came back with passion, tenderness and love.
My problem now, even missing her terribly, is to get rid of her from my mind, heart, my soul. Anyone can help me?
Thanks.
Gilson.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965 |
GLima, I read your original thread.
You are intelligent and eloquent.
I am confused about why you call her your ex-wife. I thought in your country it takes 1 to 1.5 years to divorce? Or have you filed for divorce and you are now moving out?
Anyway, to erase her from your heart, requires time away from her and filling that empty space with new thoughts and passions.
Are you taking your child with you?
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 533
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 533 |
Try to be good to yourself.
Find new things you like that don't trigger thoughts of her.
Time heals all wounds.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 21 |
Hi Turtlehead,
Thanks for your comments. I appreciated that. She is my ex-wife because too much damage has been done � especially in the emotional side � that I think I have to think about her as that.
Time away from her. That will start this weekend. Any advice regards things I should think that will help me? Suggestions for new thoughts? Things that has helped other people you know?
Thanks a lot for the time. If you can, I will appreciate your reply.
GLima.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 21 |
Thanks, Wheels_spinning.
New things that do not trigger thoughts of her... And that I like.
Please, pray for me, if you can.
GLima.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455 |
Glima, I will pray for you. It has been almost 2 years and my heart is still broken and it is still shocking.
This is after counseling, D and still working with XWH and OW. I do feel stronger these past months and realize that I can hold my head up and my confidence is coming back.
Now and then I get glimpses in my heart of the man my XWH was and I try to remember the good memories in spite of what he had done to our family.
Time heals and there is no magic wand to wave to "just move on and get over it". Blessings.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,965 |
What are you passionate about?
Something artistic? Pottery? Photography? Writing? Music?
Something active? Bicycling? Hiking? Boxing? Skating?
Helping others? Hospital Volunteer? Soup Kitchen? Nursing Home?
Building things? Habitat for Humanity?
Think about what you are passionate about. What stirs your heart and soul. Then take a class, take lessons, join a club, or volunteer. Get out and live life a bit. Your enthusiasm and confidence will come back if you're actively engaged in things that matter to you.
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