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Joined: Apr 2010
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My husband and I have been married since 2006 and we have a four year old son together, we have separated in 2008 and again in 2009 for both of us cheating on the other as our main problem.
I am pregnant for my lover but my husband and I would like to reconcile, he says he will treat the child as his own and that he loves me no matter what.
We are still separated and I have no idea what to do I truly love my husband and i am sorry for what i have doen to him as he is sorry for what he did to me. What should we do?
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Hello Joy and welcome to MB. Have you ended your affair? Does the OM know about the OC(other child)?
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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Have you ended your affair?
Who are you living with?
Have you restarted your relationship with your husband?
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3
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I have not ended the affair as my lover lives at the house I rent but I am seeking to move from the house totally so I can find a fresh start.
Yes the OM knows about the OC and I am due to get the OC next month.
No I have not restarted my relationship with my husband apart from talking to him everyday and being in constant prayer about a way out of my situation, I am 25yrs old, my husband is 33. I am in way over my head and I know only with God's help and advice from other people will I be able to fix my marriage.
What is the easiest way to end my affair?
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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What is the easiest way to end my affair? Move out of the house. Write OM a NC letter that your BH approves of and mails to OM. As to the rest of your questions? We can't help you until you end your affair.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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What is the easiest way to end my affair?
In the situation you have created, there is no such thing as "easiest".
If you want a better life, start making principled decisions, and stop looking for "easiest".
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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What is the easiest way to end my affair? Stop committing adultery.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Mar 2003
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Joy~
I've been where you are. Prayer is good, very good, but you need to put legs on those prayers. If you're a prayerful woman, then I suspect you already know what God wants you to do. You have to stop the affair right away. That is done as faith said-- move out, write the om a NC letter, and never look back.
Where is your husband right now? Can you move directly back in with him? Even if you can't, it makes no difference-- you need to move away from and end it with om ~no matter what~, in order to even begin the process of reconciliation with your husband.
First things first.
I'd hug you if we were in person... you are not alone.
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Joy, you have gotten the best advise. Don't look for the easiest way out. There is no easy way out. But faith without works is nothing. Please don't make the mistake so many others have by waiting for God to fix it. God has already given the answer. When he met the woman at the well, she asked for forgiveness, and Jesus said go and sin no more.
That's your answer. Immediately leave and don't look back.
I believe everything said to you is out of love and concern for you and your marriage. You are not alone in this. Stay connected.
I cannot work on your marriage until you leave.
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Joined: Apr 2010
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I understand everything that everyone has said, thanks for the tough love.
I will ask my parents if I can move back home with them for a while (they are God fearing ppl) and put my stuff in storage as it is my house that i am renting that i would be leaving. Also, my husband does not have his own place, but first before i would move back in with him I think I need to be acting right before God. I live on an island its not easy to find somewhere to rent or buy to live.
Please continue to pray for me in this... I need every one of them.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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first before i would move back in with him I think I need to be acting right before God.
Take care.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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I understand everything that everyone has said, thanks for the tough love.
I will ask my parents if I can move back home with them for a while (they are God fearing ppl) and put my stuff in storage as it is my house that i am renting that i would be leaving. Also, my husband does not have his own place, but first before i would move back in with him I think I need to be acting right before God. I live on an island its not easy to find somewhere to rent or buy to live.
Please continue to pray for me in this... I need every one of them. You absolutely have that in the right order. Repentence is key. Healing yourself and apologizing to those that you hurt is also an important part of the process. Please come back once you end your affair and we will be happy to help you and your BH through this.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Oct 2001
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wow what a mess.
you have received great advice so far. the "easiest" way is to put actions behind your words
my questions are
has your h ended his A also?
is he serious about reconciliation?
me-59 ww-55
married 1979 - together since 1974
6 kids together 15,19,21,23,29,30
my oldest son 37
d-day (confession day) memorial day 2001
oc born 12/20/01
now 8 grandchildren
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