Hi,

And of course, at the expense of some of you, I tend to create new topics when I get the idea, and that helps me tho to think thru my own situation, but I realize it might be unattractive to most of you.

Just got off the phone with C and this is what motivated me to think of wanting to post this. We are going out for a full day on Sunday, and she is looking forward to it. But, she said to me today "Tom you are slow to forgive".

I have thought about that for an hour now, and do you know what she is exactly right, and after all these years I finally think I get it.

I tried to post some stuff quite awhile ago here about humility, but I realize that I have not gotten that either. Who was I trying to preach to when I didn't even practice that myself.

I realize now that all C wants is for me to hug her and hold her and forgive her and that's all she wants. I realize too that if I don't do that I am then driving her away. I realized that all she wants is for her husband to realize that he is not too big or too small or too important or too hurt or too feeling unimportant to simply really want to try to accept and win her back. That is hard for me because what C is asking from me is just to be humble enough to know that She and Me are the important people here, and not to push the envelope.

On the aggressive side, any of us could cheat....exams, tax returns, realizing a bank error and not reporting it, and on our spouses, etc., and what is the thought? We can get away with it if we are clever enough, and if we're not caught. And, if we are not caught we my tend to try to push that envelope further. If we are caught, we will have our own justifications and defense mechanisms in place for pushing that envelope. A very simple example is this. I have gone to the store and forgot to bring back something C really wanted and asked me to get for her. At home, I know I am going to be raked, so I have a choice - admit, or push the envelope. I chose to push, and tell her they are out of it or I could not find the aisle where it is located. A very very simple example, and yes folks I am guilty of this.

I think at this point I better split this up, because Larry, like you I tend to get wordy.

Thanks,

Tom

I would willing give up a limb for my BH to give me the gift listed above. I am crying so hard right now...not good at work...I would give anything to feel his love again.

Hi SisterReed,

The only other part of this that I wanted to post, but cannot now because I am going to have dinner with my son, is just tht of my responsibility for forgiveness which is simply do e to my pride. I would like to express that tomorrow.

Take care, and by way prayers,

Tom