I figure I can probably get to this in two days, right now I'm really short on sleep and after 2 months it is taking it's toll.

BTW if you have followed this at all you would see that I have a RO filed against me which says I can't go within 300' of her workplace but I suppose that a letter sent there is not me being present.

My wife has already unleashed a fury at me on my first limited exposure and really is good at building me as the villain. So I am a bit cautious at repeating this event on a grander scale. Oh well, here we go...

The OM is married and I know where they live and in court he testified that they have been married for 17 years. I also know where she works...

I could use some direction as to how to gain info about people and facebook and other sites...

And a huge thank you to Melodylane for the sample letters. i will definitely use them.

I will restate what I said in my original post..

They claim �no sex� but I did read her journal prior to leaving and it is unmistakable that they are fully entangled.

They have done the "I have fallen in love with you" fully emotional thing and they claim that they have only kissed but I will add that the kissing has been admittedly extremely passionate and in my W's journal "amazing". And this is for months too.

Do I believe that it is only kissing??? Well call me a baffoon but yes I do.

Help me with this a bit here...

I would contact her at work and tell her all about the affair and your current living situation. Don't tell her about your other exposures when you do, but time it where the workplace exposure hits later in the day. For example, call her at work, give her all the information and offer to meet with her and give her your evidence. Give her your contact information and ask her to stay in touch so you can work together to kill the affair.

That night, set up a facebook account and go on the OM's facebook page and copy the names of all his friends. Then send each one a private email through facebook using the letter template I gave you. Ask for his parents to contact you directly and give your phone #.



JAG, you are going to have to man up and deal with her fury. The goal here is to save your marriage not to avoid her wrath at all costs. Of course she will be furious. So what? You are a big boy, aren't you? Your marriage can survive her temporary anger, it can't survive her affair.

I think planning to do this in 2 days is PERFECT. You can get rested up, make your plans and develop a strategy. That would be just perfect.

Stop believing what LIARS SAY and use your common sense, my friend. You need to stop being silly. You don't have the luxury of denying reality if you want to save your marriage. Of course they are having sex.

She is "the" go to guy on exposure. I didn't do my inept act at suggesting letters, I felt she would be along to do it way better than I could.

Did you buy your recorder? That helps a bunch when WW file bogus charges of abuse. And many will. Record all conversations.

Larry

JAG, when you call the OM's wife, don't tell her this fogbabble you are spouting about how it is "just kissing." Tell her this; they are having an affair, have had one for XYZ months and I have the evidence.

This is no time to practice nihilism.

Do you have your wife's journal page where she talks about having sex?

She never talks ablut haveing sex just the 'amazing' kiss with him 2 or 3X a day.

As far as recording phone conversations... I have a RO that means NO contact. So really no recorder is necessary

JAG, I would just assume they are having sex. It is unrealistic to believe 2 married people who are in the habit of kiss=sex did not have sex. I am sorry. I would just present this to others as an "adulterous affair" and then give them the evidence if they ask.

JaG, your story is very much like mine. Without going into a long story about it, my stbxw did a complete "alien swap" when she started in with the OM. At first, I didn't realize it, and she was playing the "it's all your fault, I'm not happy" card to the hilt.

Even when she admitted there was someone else, she continued to gaslight me, attempting to eat cake so that she would have a home, a car, food and all the comforts of home while she could go out and have her zest with OM whenever she pleased.

Thanks to the head-straightening I got from the people here, I learned that the alien-turned-addict is no longer the woman I married. I cannot listen to and believe a single word she says.

There are some threads here about the "Fogbabble" every single one of these waywards spew. It's amazing, really, to think how similar they all are. I'm convinced there is a "wayward training class" somewhere we don't know about.

Listen to MelodyLane. Do what she says. DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT. Right now, your mind is not your ally! Let the calm, cool, sane heads who have been around the block a few times help guide your course.

What did you do to get the RO? Or, what does your wife SAY you did to her?

When I found out aboutthe A i wasn't all that cool headed about it and I broke the LB's numerous times with angry outbursts. But never, never, never have I touched her in any way, I never even banged my fists in a table top... I yelled and such. She stated on the affidavit that I swung at her 5X but If that would have happened I wouldn't have missed. Just rediculous.

Anyway on the original RO I had numerous other restrictions on me before my hearing. At the hearing and after hearing some of the truths under oath the judge removed alllllll these other restrictions and simply allowed the RO to be about just stay away from her... she wants to be alone... ok

Hey to all of you, remember my request on how to find out info in the public domains like facebook etc.

I'm quite in the dark on this stuff

I need to SNOOP... tell me how

ok, tell me exactly what you want to find.

In order to find the OM on facebook, [hopefully he has a fb page] go to facebook.com and type the OM's name in the search box. You might have to make up an account, so make up an account using your own name.

When you find the OM's facebook page, copy all of his friends names into a WORD document. Look around and familarize yourself with fb so you can see how to send each person a privage message.

Just checked on facebook and I found nothing... any other sites out there?

JAG, do you know his wife's name? try doing a search under her name and see if you can find the OM. Also, does your wife have a fb page? He might be linked to her fb page.

Tried OM's wife's name and my W's also and no go. My wife's 15 year old daughter does have a page though. Not interested there.