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What is the best way to get over a Divorce ?
NLowe79@hotmail.com
31 yo male 8 yrs married no more to follow 2 boys 12 n 9 yo 1 girl 5 yo
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Work on yourself, first and foremost.
- Start going to the gym or exercising (exercise raises endorphin levels and makes you feel good). - Do thing you like to do. - Get out and start making new friends (not necissarily dating). - Hang out with current friends and family.
Kind of just a few things for starters I guess.
D - Day: 11/7/2009 Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009 Broke NC: 11/9/2009 D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009 Started Plan A: 1/8/2010 Found MB: 1/13/2010 Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ??? Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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thanks that sounds like a plan i can do
NLowe79@hotmail.com
31 yo male 8 yrs married no more to follow 2 boys 12 n 9 yo 1 girl 5 yo
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For me, redoing my house had the most concrete results. With each change I made, the house became more "mine" and less "ours" until eventually, it was all mine and I sold it. It was as if I had to go through the process of renovating my house in order to renovate my life. And there were plenty of little victories along the way to keep me motivated - each room finished was a reason for celebration!
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i am renting a room now but i want my own apartment where it is just me and my rules all in my world does that make any sense ?
NLowe79@hotmail.com
31 yo male 8 yrs married no more to follow 2 boys 12 n 9 yo 1 girl 5 yo
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Getting your own apartment sounds like an wonderful goal.
I'd add on: Count your blessings every day. Acknowledge the mistakes you made in the past so that you can avoid making them in the future. Do your duty to your kids. This means making the occassional sacrifice, avoiding spoiling them because you feel badly, etc. If you've had a falling out with God, make up. Recognize that sadness and loneliness are a naturual part of life, but they are temporary.
Divorced. 2 Girls Remarried 10/11/08 Widowed 11/5/08 Remarrying 12/17/15
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I'm going through a divorce too and am in the very beginning stages.
I have to stay "Ditto" to everything that everyone has listed.
I am going to provide a special "endorsement" for exercise. I think exercise is a great positive outlet for stress. I work out 5x a week in the mornings and I find it to be helpful to clear your mind. Additionally, you will look great and feel healthy!
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i am looking into buying a bike because that is a passion that i stopped once i got married
NLowe79@hotmail.com
31 yo male 8 yrs married no more to follow 2 boys 12 n 9 yo 1 girl 5 yo
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i do a little yoga in the morning i have a cd i follow. do you have another regiment i can follow as i do not have access to weights and no gym membership i do how ever jog up to the 21st floor everyday after work
NLowe79@hotmail.com
31 yo male 8 yrs married no more to follow 2 boys 12 n 9 yo 1 girl 5 yo
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Try the parks. Often they have circuits that you can jog and then do various different exercises.
Also, a lot of yoga studios offer the first class free.
Divorced. 2 Girls Remarried 10/11/08 Widowed 11/5/08 Remarrying 12/17/15
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Ditto what GG said above. You can look for regional parks in your area that have good running trails. I love running outdoors---it feels great to feel the fresh air and enjoy the scenery. Make sure that you have good running shoes, which are important for outdoor running.
Bicycling is awesome - we have a really avid cycling community in California. I dunno where you live, but I would suggest looking into cycling clubs or groups that organize group rides.
I also have a very low cost "home gym", which consists of a couple of freeweights (10 lbs, 15lbs, a balance ball, kettle ball, exercise bands, and small weighted medicine ball. Even for a male, there are a lot of strength building workouts that you can do with these simple tools. Increase your reps to make the exercise more aerobic if you want. You can find them at any Walmart or Target for fairly cheap.
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Or, check out the local dump. Or run an online ad. Unwanted weights are hard to get rid of because they are weighty. Just try dumping a set of 15 lb dumbells in your trash can and see what the trashman has to say!!! I bet there are people who would pay you to take them away.
Also, check out meetup.com. You may be able to find a group of people in your area who are looking for alternatives to the gym. I personally hate fitness clubs and the Y.
Oh, and if money is an issue, the YMCA gives out a lot of financial aid. Their mission is to not turn anyone away.
Divorced. 2 Girls Remarried 10/11/08 Widowed 11/5/08 Remarrying 12/17/15
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thanks everyone i will definately get in a few things because i need to keep my mind off of her.
NLowe79@hotmail.com
31 yo male 8 yrs married no more to follow 2 boys 12 n 9 yo 1 girl 5 yo
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Nothing like a new carbon fiber frame with a ultegra component group on it to distract the mind....
I can't walk into a bike shop and not want to pull out my wallet !!!
What ever kind of bike you would like to have you can usually find a good deal on e-bay or craigslist...... Half the fun is the search.......make it a mission !!!
Me BS 54 XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12 DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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i found a beautiful green Mongoose on ebay place my bid yesterday
NLowe79@hotmail.com
31 yo male 8 yrs married no more to follow 2 boys 12 n 9 yo 1 girl 5 yo
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Nothing like a new carbon fiber frame with a ultegra component group on it to distract the mind....
I can't walk into a bike shop and not want to pull out my wallet !!!
What ever kind of bike you would like to have you can usually find a good deal on e-bay or craigslist...... Half the fun is the search.......make it a mission !!! Steel is real! I ride a custom 1995 Waterford 1200. Reynolds 753 tubing, bottomless Daytona Blue paint. Beautiful! I was on the cycling team at Penn State and they were one of our sponsors. It originally had Ultegra 8 speed. I wore that stuff out by 2001. In 2002, I sent the frame back to Waterford to be refurbished with a new paint job. I built it up with full Dura Ace 9 speed. It only has a couple thousand miles on it since the rebuild. Kids and the horse farm got in the way of my riding after about 2003!
Me BH 49 WXW 50 Married 1998 DS 2002 DD 2005 D Day 1 7/28/08 D Day 2 8/19/08
Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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ONCE YOU GO CARBON YOU NEVER GO BACK !!!!!
It just peddles its self down the road........
Buy the way PSU my son was on the UT team.... so fun to watch.... I'm just a slow cruiser....wouldn't be able to keep up with you....
NAL that mongoose is a mountain bike isn't it ????
Me BS 54 XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12 DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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That's cool.
Yesir its a mountain bike. That's what I ride. 26in. Full suspension mirrors tail lights for nite riding speedometer radio I trick it. And I can burn some rubber on or off road.
NLowe79@hotmail.com
31 yo male 8 yrs married no more to follow 2 boys 12 n 9 yo 1 girl 5 yo
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I never quite got the whole riding down a trail at night and racking myself up as I go over the handle bars.........
BTW..... this past fall I took the old WW on an extended rails to trails trip from Pittsburgh to Washington DC....in the fall..... no cars...... 7 days..... had a great time in spite of the circumstances
it's the GAP trail to the C&O canal .... you can do it with a credit card (hotels) or camp ....plenty of food along the way it was one of the best trips I've ever done.....
Talk about a distraction ........ that will keep you mind off things for awhile......
Last edited by stillcommitted; 04/15/10 10:47 PM. Reason: spell
Me BS 54 XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12 DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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