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Posts: 152
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Which book to you all recommend reading first, His needs her needs or surviving the Affair? Sorry, you can see my story entitled Plz Help for more info, I am just trying to decide where to start in terms of Dr. H books.
Thanks
Me: BS 30
WH: 32
Married: 4 Yrs
Together: 14 Yrs
Dday: May 2009
FR: MANY
A: Online EA turned PA January 2009 and again May 2009
FRMLY: Hopeful30
To all WS: "Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things nearby."
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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I think you need to get Surviving an Affair first, because you are going through the hard part right now. When you are in recovery, you can get His Needs, Her Needs.
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I would definitly start with SAA and then read His Needs/Her Needs. SAA talks about the needs and HN/HN expounds upon them. I found it helpful to read them both even though we are no where close to recovery.
-SOL
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Thanks for your info. Its so hard to know where to start and I want to follow Plan A to the letter.
Me: BS 30
WH: 32
Married: 4 Yrs
Together: 14 Yrs
Dday: May 2009
FR: MANY
A: Online EA turned PA January 2009 and again May 2009
FRMLY: Hopeful30
To all WS: "Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things nearby."
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,722
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SAA spells both Plan A and B out very well. Start there.
-SOL
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 152
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 152 |
Me: BS 30
WH: 32
Married: 4 Yrs
Together: 14 Yrs
Dday: May 2009
FR: MANY
A: Online EA turned PA January 2009 and again May 2009
FRMLY: Hopeful30
To all WS: "Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things nearby."
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
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The one that helped me the most of all of them was Love Busters. I read SAA and HNHN within the first month and did not get LB til much later. I believe redinging it earlier would have saved us both alot of grief.
God"s Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 152
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 152 |
Me: BS 30
WH: 32
Married: 4 Yrs
Together: 14 Yrs
Dday: May 2009
FR: MANY
A: Online EA turned PA January 2009 and again May 2009
FRMLY: Hopeful30
To all WS: "Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things nearby."
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
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I am an MB sponge right now. I read SAA, then HNHN. Started LB(but had to return it to the library) I have now bought it, waiting for it to come in. I have FIL/SIL as well and will read that. I also bought Effective marriage counseling. SPONGE SPONGE SPONGE. 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 152
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I hear ya Scotland. I found this website last year when I first found out about the affair, but I didn't follow any advice on the posts. I tried things on my own. BIG MISTAKE.
I am now learning how to do things effectively, and work on myself. I am in PLAN A right now, last contact was just over a week ago and I think reading his books will really help along with all the useful info on this site.
Me: BS 30
WH: 32
Married: 4 Yrs
Together: 14 Yrs
Dday: May 2009
FR: MANY
A: Online EA turned PA January 2009 and again May 2009
FRMLY: Hopeful30
To all WS: "Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things nearby."
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